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Cold-War Era Naval Vessels Up For Grabs

Posted by kdawson on from the yours-for-a-dock dept.

mcleland lets us in on a Wall Street Journal story about two cold-war era, formerly top-secret vessels the US Navy is trying to give away. At issue are the Sea Shadow (the ancestor of all modern naval radar-evading technology) and the Hughes Mining Barge (a floating dry-dock and more-or-less base for the Sea Shadow). While the ships are being 'given away,' there are multiple regulations involved, making the gift a very costly one. "A Naval Museum is 'a bloodthirsty, paper-work ridden, permit-infested, money-sucking hole,' warns the Historic Naval Ships Association. Because the Navy won't pay for anything — not rust-scraping or curating — to keep museums afloat, survival depends on big crowds."

12 of 165 comments (clear)

  1. That bad, eh? by truthsearch · · Score: 5, Funny

    A Naval Museum is 'a bloodthirsty, paper-work ridden, permit-infested, money-sucking hole,' warns the Historic Naval Ships Association.

    But tell us what you really think. Don't hold back.

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    Developers: We can use your help.
  2. Don't settle for the mining barge... by Chris+Mattern · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...hold out for an exhumer, man!

    1. Re:Don't settle for the mining barge... by Alzheimers · · Score: 3, Funny

      Typhoon:

      Highs:
      4x Miner IIs
      4x Arbalest Cruises

      Mids:
      2x Shield Expander II
      2x Invuln Field II

      Lows:
      7x Cargohold Expander II

      Drones:
      5x Ogre II

      That is how you mine.

  3. Hmmmm... by Thelasko · · Score: 5, Funny

    What if I didn't put them as a Museum? Instead, I'll use them as part of my dastardly plot to steal missiles from a British vessel lost in the South China Sea due to tampering with the GPS signal. Then use those missiles to provoke a war between China and Great Britain.

    Do you think they will still let me have it?

    --
    One of our competitors trademarked the term "hypothesis". From now on, we will call them "boneheaded ideas".
    1. Re:Hmmmm... by 0racle · · Score: 4, Funny

      Oh come on now, that idea is so stupid that no one would ever think it would be a good movie, let alone actually attempt it.

      --
      "I use a Mac because I'm just better than you are."
    2. Re:Hmmmm... by jollyreaper · · Score: 5, Funny

      What if I didn't put them as a Museum? Instead, I'll use them as part of my dastardly plot to steal missiles from a British vessel lost in the South China Sea due to tampering with the GPS signal. Then use those missiles to provoke a war between China and Great Britain.

      Do you think they will still let me have it?

      It depends. You've already established that you have have a criminally-inclined genius and a ruthless, murderous streak. But more is required.

      1. Can your organization's name be turned into a suitably menacing acronym?
      2. Henchmen with unusual and remarkable deformities?
      3. Henchwomen with names both unlikely and sexually suggestive?
      4. Do you have a white persian cat?
      5. Do you enjoy monologuing?
      6. Can you credibly threaten the destruction of western civilization while maintaining a PG-13 rating?

      --
      Kwisatz Haderach
      Sell the spice to CHOAM
      This Mahdi took Shaddam's Throne
  4. Re:Sea Shadow would be ultimate party boat by Nos. · · Score: 3, Funny

    And you could always fit it with missiles and have endless fun making the great navies of the world think they were shooting at one another.

    Be careful who you do that to, since the presumed guilty party might surrender, stopping the planned war. After being convicted of the crime, he could escape, return to his ship, hunt you down, and at the last minute find a way around your cloaking technology and blast you out of the sky, er, water. Oh yeah, and his personal physician will be with him.

  5. Floating base! by LoRdTAW · · Score: 3, Funny

    Step 1: Acquire free Naval floating base.
    Step 2: Fill said base with servers, generators and networking gear.
    step 3: Profit!

    Companies looking to build floating data centers could be the people to unload these things to. That or have your very own Sea World like base if you can anchor it in international waters. Properly cleaning them up would be the most cost prohibitive as I am sure they are filled with asbestos.

  6. ARR!!! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    That quote really sounds awesome if you say it with a pirate voice!

  7. Re:Sea Shadow would be ultimate party boat by Spectre · · Score: 5, Funny

    None of my friends and family qualify as "innocent". It's all good.

    --
    "Flame away, I wear asbestos underwear"
  8. Just goes to show.... by Rick+Zeman · · Score: 3, Funny

    TANSTAAFS. :-)

  9. So, by nobodylocalhost · · Score: 3, Funny

    The Chinese Federation is challenging our Holy Britannian Empire?

    Very well, The stake is the world, prepare for battle...

    All Hail Britannia!!

    --
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