Assassin's Creed, LittleBigPlanet Coming To PSP
Sony unveiled their PSP lineup for 2009 today, and it contains a number of major games and franchies. Assassin's Creed is on the way, as is a portable version of LittleBigPlanet , which will still allow players to share their levels with the community. A Motorstorm game set in Alaska is also coming, and Rock Band: Unplugged is in development as well. "There will not be a peripheral attachment available... Instead, all input is handled by the 'Left,' 'Up,' 'Triangle,' and 'Circle' buttons. The player can switch between guitar, drums, bass, and "vocals" (although he won't physically be singing, merely tapping buttons) using the L and R shoulder buttons. ... The player can actually choose to switch instruments at anytime, but switching prematurely will cause him to lose his multiplier."
http://kotaku.com/5159508/first-trailer-and-screens-for-motorstorm-arctic-edge
looks fairly alright, im actually thinking about buying PSP recently, which would be the first gaming console i owed since Amiga CDTV
Now we can get high quality games on a small screen console, with reduced controls. YIPEE!
Laughter is the best medicine, except if you have a broken rib.
After seemingly a year or longer of negative vibes towards Sony's little console, today was a big day for the PSP. Announced at Sony's Destination PlayStation retail event were:
Motorstorm (Arctic Edge)
Rock Band
Little Big Planet
Assassin's Creed
Tiger Woods '10
Madden '10 (With PS3 connectivity)
DiRT 2 (Codemasters)
To make the PSP more female friendly comes: Hannah Montana in a purple PSP bundle The Petz range (Ubisoft)
So, no original IP announced (as promised by Sony a while back) and there will be a big struggle to can these monster franchises into the diddy hardware. However, assuming they can pull it off, then you have lots of potential for new sales, great bundles and lots of existing PSP owners dusting down their machines.
On the other hand, all it will take is two or three of these to get middling review scores and fail to ship in numbers and you can pretty much stick a knife in the PSP in its current form. Even if the vaunted 4000 model does arrive, it won't be enough without a HD display, massive internal storage (8GB min) and a powerful hardware upgrade to revive the fortunes of the console. more on me blog - http://goffee-freelance.blogspot.com/2009/02/good-time-to-be-psp-owner.html
If he's the Walrus then can I be a penguin please?
It's four thirty a.m. and the house is asleep.
I. . . am not asleep.
I am crouched in the bathtub in a frog-like stance, small puddles of urine and liquid shit at my feet. I'm leaning forward, gripping the side of the tub and biting my knee, overwhelmed by a mixture of pain and pleasure as I piston a dildo in and out of my ass.
You see, I really love anal masturbation.
Ever try it? No? You should.
Doesn't matter who you are. God gave all of us, male and female, an abundance of nerve endings in our rectum - and one life to live. So why don't you go ahead and test out the equipment? Have some fun. No point in having a gun sitting on your shelf your entire life and never killing anyone, right?
But I realize there's a fairly persistent misconception among guys that I'm gonna have to dispel before we go any further:
Stimulating your own ass is not "gay."
That notion doesn't make a whole lot of sense. I mean, how could anything you do to your own body be gay? Nobody ever freaks out in the middle of jerking off like "Holy fuck, I've got a fistful of cock! I've gotta cut this gay shit out!" Well, what's the philosophical difference between playing with your dick and playing with your ass?
There is none.
Look fellas, here's the scoop:
If you have a girl wearing a foot long strap-on, smacking your face and screaming "WHO'S MY BITCH?!?" while she pounds your asshole until it bleeds, that would be a *heterosexual* act. Girl on guy. Simple.
Now if it's a guy that's fucking you, that would be homosexual. And if you're doing it to yourself, well, that's plain old masturbation.
But listen - if you're still sitting there being stubborn, all macho and uptight going "My ass. . . is EXIT ONLY!!!" then lemme just ask you a question.
You know that feeling you get when you take a really big shit?
You know what I'm talking about. You're sitting on the couch, eating Cheez-Its and watching Larry King, when all of the sudden you feel that familiar burning. . . so you get up and bound off to the bathroom all bow legged, clenching your sphincter real tight, and then you furiously rip off your boxer briefs and plop down on the seat just in time to let a huuuuuuge thick turd come sliding out of your ass?
Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!
That feeling.
That tingling, chills up your spine, this-is-absolutely-the-pinnacle-of-human-existence feeling.
Well guess what. That's the feeling of a massive rod moving through your rectum, tickling those wonderfully abundant nerve endings. You love it. It's okay. We all do. It doesn't make you a fag. Or at the very least, we're ALL fags. So indulge yourself.
(Yes, I understand that said feeling is partially due to the sensory experience of toxins leaving the body, which is unique to defecation - but the operative word here is "partially." You like the log movement, too. Don't try to argue.)
So anyway, now that you've decided to be bold, and not a homophobic pussy, and poke around the cornhole a little bit - good for you. But there's something you should remember. Anal masturbation is just like playing the accordion, or shooting a jumper, or really anything else that's worth doing. That is, it requires practice.
You see, back when I was a kid I would get curious and stick a finger or a toothbrush up there, but I wasn't fucking around with anywhere near the kind of pleasure I'm achieving now. It was uncomfortable even. So I worked on it.
And conversely, I know I'm still far from expertise in this particular discipline. I don't claim to be an ass master. There's a whole world of lengths, girths, textures, and vibrations that my eager browneye has yet to inhale.
But since I have honed my skills to a pretty decent level, I'll share with you my current technique. Without further ado:
Anonymous Coward's Anal Masturbation Technique
What You Need:
1. Lubricant of your choice
2. Fake cock (eight inches, approx.)
3. Ridged anal wand (seven inches, approx.)
Procedure:
"After seemingly a year or longer of negative vibes towards Sony's little console"
"On the other hand, all it will take is two or three of these to get middling review scores and fail to ship in numbers and you can pretty much stick a knife in the PSP in its current form."
You dumbfuck, these are just a tiny number of new PSP titles.
The PSP is over 50 million sales worldwide already and the number of new IPs and new versions of existing IPs for the PSP for 2009 is massive.
Hell, Sony hasn't even begun to ship PS3/PSP bundles yet.
That sounds almost exactly like Harmonix have gone back to their roots and given us a Frequency sequel, just using the Rock Band name to get the casuals interested.
If so, I thoroughly approve.
"I Know You Are But What Am I?"
Why does Sony need to upgrade the PSP hardware? Your wish list is a V12 short of a Maybach. All the while the DS with inferior hardware compared to the PSP in almost every category is winning this generation portable battle.
When talking about consoles it's always about the games. Yes, HD may be nice, but what would that do to the battery life? The PSP is suffering from a lack of quality games and from a lack of games in general. The DS has a much larger library, shovelware mostly, but it doesn't matter as long as genuinely good games exist between them.
Also Sony is unclear at the moment about the direction it wants to take the console. It seems to have a new strategy with the PSN, but the firmware updates are a constant disappointment. It took them almost a year to unlock full resolution video playback that the console was able to do from day one; the mp3 playback still sucks, the browser is pitiful, and people are resorting to custom firmware to change that.
With custom firmware you can get an ok browser (Opera Mobile), a great ebook reader (Bookr), a very nice mp3 player (LiteMP3), Youtube playback, and emulators for all the classic consoles up to the PSX. They fell into the same trap as Microsoft with the original Xbox: the modded console is so much better in every way that it becomes almost mandatory to mod it, and once there piracy is just a click or two away.
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Have a look at this fantastic game made for the NES-emulator: DPad Hero
When you shoot a mime, do you use a silencer?
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE make the tedious, repetitive, tedious, repetitive, tedious, repetitive, tedious, repetitive cutscenes in Assassin's Creed skippable.
I thought the Little Big Planet people said that little big planet would be impossible on the Xbox 360 because it was technologically inferior? And the PSP isn't? At this point, Sony deserves the whooping they're getting from Nintendo and to a lesser extent Microsoft. Innovate or die, Sony.
We willna be fooled again!
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It's a shame they can't port PAIN to the PSP. It's a fun game and just about all I play on the PS3..