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Using Lasers and Water Guns To Clean Space Debris
WSJdpatton writes "The collision between two satellites last month has renewed interest in some ideas for cleaning up the cloud of debris circling the earth. Some of the plans being considered: Using aging rockets loaded with water to dislodge the debris from orbit so it will burn up in the atmosphere; junk-zapping lasers; and garbage-collecting rockets."
Damn! Shut up already! The average moron will totally believe your rain concept.
Of course, you'll need real hardware to go with that.
> Sharks can fly to space?
That's what the water is for.
What do you think would happen if you push an old satellite with some type of nuclear fuel into the atmosphere and it doesn't burn up completely the way you want it to and it basically becomes a dirty bomb in high orbit.
ZOMG!!!! You're giving terrorists ideas!! I'm reporting you!!!
We will bankrupt ourselves in the vain search for absolute security. -- Dwight D. Eisenhower
More to the point, whoever proposed this idea seems to be completely unaware of the workings of orbital mechanics. Clue: the stuff is already falling. The problem is it keeps missing.
[FUCK BETA]
Which puts us one step closer to landsharks.
*knockknock* "Plumber!"
"You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
Yeah, someone from Caltech said the same thing, but you can't trust second-rate sources when it comes to space analysts...
Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure everything I just said is completely wrong.
I wasn't aware that water was flammable. I'll notify the fire department that they need to rethink their strategy.
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The water is actually for the sharks. Space-junk shot by lasers, lasers go onto sharks, sharks go into water, water goes into space. Keep up, this isn't rocket science...
It must have been something you assimilated. . . .
We spent hundreds of hours in front of the Astroids simulator, practicing breaking rocks up into smaller rocks!
I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.