Slashdot Mirror
World's Cheapest Car Goes On Sale In India
Frankie70 writes "The Tata Nano — the car that caught the world's imagination as the cheapest ever — will finally be rolled out commercially on Monday in Mumbai in a mega event organised by Tata Motors. Ben Oliver, contributing editor, Car Magazine, London test drove the car in December, 08. These were his first impressions. This was his verdict: 'CAR's first ride in the Tata Nano felt far more significant and exciting than a first drive in a Ferrari or Lamborghini, because this car's importance is immeasurably greater. It won't compete on dynamics or quality with European or Japanese city cars, but it doesn't have to. What Tata has achieved at an unprecedented price is astonishing, although we'd guess it will cost Indian consumers closer to £1700 when it finally goes on sale, six months late, in March 2009.'"
Physiology
Barbra, or "Babs" to her closest friends, in addition to having the longest nose on record, has a singing range of about 70 octaves, well beyond human hearing range. Thus, her earliest records are most popular amongst dogs, especially gay male dogs. It has been said that her voice, at its peak loudness, could theoretically destroy all buildings in a radius of 246.7 square miles.
Barbra is descended from an ancient race of horses known as termites. The termites were once a mighty and powerful warrior race of predators which were created by Matt Groening and Unitinu. Over the millenia, these termites devastated the earth and were at one point the last multicellular organisms in existence. They thawed out humans and mated with Barbara Walters to produce Tom Brokaw. Brokaw became intoxicated with highly poisonous marijuana and consequently died of quicksilver poisoning but not before he begat the entire human race around 100000 BC. As humans evolved, they died off and created humans and mutant humans. However, humans decided that they should live and started to fight the mutant humans. Once the mutant humans were killed off, life continued.
A few mutant humans survived, and in -273.15 AD, Chinese alchemists thawed Barbra from the ice. She was the final survivor of the proto-postmutant race (as in, the early successors of the mutants) and applied for a job at ABC. Interviewers were baffled at the size of her specialized nasal cavity which had evolved during the mutant humans' conquest to sniff out cocaine deposits in subterranean Moroccan caves. Since it would have been discrimination to hire her, the HR department solemnly decided to hire her as a nose anchor.
Fame
As noted by Lando Calrissian in one of the chapter introductions in his famous programming book, Learn Jabba in 21 days, Barbra was interviewed as an E! Exclusive star. During the 1950s, she was purportedly auditioning to be the fifth Chipmunk in the 1959 LP release, "Strung Up Gonads." At the time, the four chipmunks were actually balding human male crooners singing in largo tempo and sped up about 200% on tape. However, shortly after the recording session, the chipmunks were attacked by Muslims yielding a magic genie bottle. The Muslims told the chipmunks to rub one out and make a wish and then uncorked the genie bottle. Thin green smoke emerged from the bottle, and the Muslims and chipmunks died from nerve gas poisoning. (The WMDs were really hidden inside a shipment of toy genie bottles destined for the USA, but they were "lost" by the fudgepacking USPS and are probably still sitting on a truck that ran off the side of the road, just waiting to be uncovered by an escaped post-apocalyptic Kevin Costner lookalike.) As the chipmunks were dead and due to it being impossible to slow down the tape because Keanu Reeves was the studio assistant (idiot was recording at 55ips!!) and screamed that the studio would explode if he did, Barbra was hired to impersonate the chipmunks with a voice not to have any spectral components below 3kHz.
Doctors broke open a bunch of gas lasers and forced Barbra to huff a combination of helium and neon gasses. She breathed enough in three days to surpass eight large black men in the amount of gas that could be possibly expelled. In doing so, she gained a super-variable voice which allowed her to shatter glass and create any frequency that she wanted, finally forcing her to accept the nickname "White Noise." She in fact could sing around 50kHz and played air traffic controller with the bats. Due to her bizarre sense of humor, she would host dinner parties late at night and direct the bats--some actually rabid--to attack her guests. This earned her the apt name of "Bat Girl" and started her three-season stint with Adam West. When the bats learned of what was going on, they got up really early to surprise her(if you ever see a bat during the daytime, it is rabid) and headed down to her typical dive bar hangout and attacked her, leaving only bones.
Because of Barbra Streisand's attitude, I usually don't respond to her communiqués, but this time I'll make an exception. For the sake of review, Barbra has stated that society is supposed to be lenient towards twisted, capricious warlords. One clear inference from that statementan inference that is never really disavowedis that hanging out with lubricious miscreants is a wonderful, culturally enriching experience. Now that's just dodgy.
It's not necessary to go into too long of a description about how Barbra plans to use rock music, with its savage, tribal, orgiastic beat, to numb the public to the mercantalism and injustice in mainstream politics in the blink of an eye. Suffice it to say that I have to laugh when she says that mediocrity and normalcy are ideal virtues. Where in the world did she get that idea? Not only does that idea contain absolutely no substance whatsoever but she does not merely give lunatics control of the asylum. She does so consciously, deliberately, willfully, and methodically. If I didn't think she would spawn a society in which those with the most deviant lifestyle, hateful behavior, or personal failures are given the most by the government, I wouldn't say that she plans to renege on an incredibly large number of promises. The result will be an amalgam of vile charlatanism and sinful solipsism, if such a monster can be imagined. I hate it when people get their facts wrong. For instance, whenever I hear some corporate fat cat make noises about how Barbra is the ultimate authority on what's right and what's wrong, I can't help but think that in the Old Testament, the Book of Kings relates how the priests of Baal were slain for deceiving the people. I'm not suggesting that there be any contemporary parallel involving Barbra, but I cannot promise not to be angry at Barbra. I do promise, however, to try to keep my anger under control, to keep it from leading meas it leads Barbrato promote the sappy views of reprehensible, inaniloquent bullies.
It's really amazing, isn't it? We can put people on the Moon and send robot explorers to Mars, but if you study Barbra's inerudite generalizations long enough, you'll come to the inescapable conclusion that you might have heard the story that she once agreed to help us spread awareness of the unctuous nature of her asseverations. No one has located the document in which Barbra said that. No one has identified when or where Barbra said that. That's because she never said it. As you might have suspected, given the amount of misinformation that Barbra is circulating, I must point out that I take an uncharitable attitude towards her birdbrained cajoleries. Well, that's another story. To get back to my main point, I ought to mention that Barbra is a very conceited little woman. The logical consequences of that are clear: Whenever Barbra is blamed for conspiring to keep us hypnotized so we don't advocate social change through dialogue, passive resistance, and nonviolence, she blames her comrades. Doing so reinforces their passivity and obedience and increases their guilt, shame, terror, and conformity, thereby making them far more willing to help Barbra rebrand local churches as faith-based emporia teeming with impulse-buy items.
I know very few blathering scaramouches personally but I know them well enough to surmise that Barbra has no real regard for other people's rights, privacy, or sanity. We can therefore extrapolate that I have some advice for Barbra. She should keep her mouth shut until she stops being such a longiloquent four-flusher and starts being at least one of informative, agreeable, creative, or entertaining. Her favorite scapegoats are the government, the economy, the environment, society, parents, teachers, and just about everything else, and deep down in our bones, we all know why.
I would be grateful if Barbra would take a little time from her rigorous schedule to raise the quality of debate on issues surrounding her dour epithets. Of course, pigs will grow wings and fly before that ever happens. So remember kids
Dear Anonymous,
I am a long-time /. member but I'm posting anonymously on this one, being a member of the "silent majority" that's silent for fear of retribution from the fascists, a.k.a. liberals, a.k.a. progressives, a.k.a. communists. If you'll read Jonah Goldberg's book, Liberal Fascism, you will learn that all of the above are in fact one and the same, despite efforts by the communists to differentiate themselves from the fascists, and despite the original meaning of the word "liberal" being hijacked by the extreme left. (The original meaning was more like what "libertarian" means today.) Yes, it is retribution from the fascists that I, as many like me, fear, because liberals are always in favor of freedom of speech, so long as you speak their party line. The moment you don't, they have all kinds of ugly names to call you.
Now for the reason I'm posting: The information you posted is correct. Those on this forum who voted for our beloved leader would brush off what you said as being bullshit spouted by some conservative (read: evil person). If only it were bullshit! I would like to offer a correction, however. Near the beginning of your post, you mentioned Rahm Emanuel. You are correct that he's a radical authoritarian and is bad news for our country. However, he is by no means a Zionist. Calling him a Zionist is like calling some script kiddie a hacker. Hacker is a title reserved for Real Programmers but has been hijacked by the media to mean script kiddie. Likewise, I'll explain for whom the title Zionist is reserved. For this, we must define what Zionism actually means, since its meaning has been hijacked by the left. Zionism means, quite simply, the hope and longing of the Jewish people to live in their own homeland. Since roughly the times of Jesus Christ, the Jewish people have been scattered all over the globe. In May of 1948, the British exited what was then known as the British Mandate, also called Palestine after the Philistines that lived there thousands of years ago. The United Nations (an organization you probably don't respect, and neither do I, but this is the one thing they did right throughout their entire history) voted in favor of the creation of a homeland for the Jewish people in this area. Because there is now a homeland, the Zionist dream is no longer to obtain a homeland, but to keep the existing homeland and fix it up. (This is no worse a crime than working to improve your neighborhood, your city, or your country in general.) Hence Israel's transformation from a desert wasteland 60 years ago to a beautiful garden today. Zionism today means the same thing to the Jewish people as Patriotism means (or at least used to mean) to the American people. Unfortunately, the left has hijacked the word Zionism, and come to think of it, they've hijacked the word Patriotism, too, using the PATRIOT Act as an excuse, no doubt. So please don't use the word Zionism in this manner, because if you do, then you have fallen for the bullshit spouted by the same exact left that you obviously do not support!!! Leftists love the islamofascists for some reason and are therefore anti-Jewish, and therefore spout all kinds of shit that targets Jews and Israel. Who do you prefer to support, the Jewish/Israelis who are being Patriotic (Zionist), who are defending themselves against constant threat of war and terrorism from the islamofascists? Or do you prefer to help out the left by pointing out that Irgun blew up the King David hotel when your grandfather was still in diapers?
Worth the offtopic..So the chief aid to the guy your are trying to portray as a Muslim is a Zionist. I guess you have not fully thought through the meaning of your bigotry.