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Hungry Crustaceans Eat Climate Change Experiment
Earlier this month, an expedition fertilized 300 square kilometers of the Atlantic Ocean with six metric tons of dissolved iron. This triggered a bloom of phytoplankton, which doubled their biomass within two weeks by taking in carbon dioxide from the seawater. The dead phytoplankton were then expected to sink to the ocean bed, dragging carbon along with them. Instead, the experiment turned into an example of how the food chain works, as the bloom was eaten by a swarm of hungry copepods. The huge swarm of copepods were in turn eaten by larger crustaceans called amphipods, which are often eaten by squid and whales. "I think we are seeing the last gasps of ocean iron fertilization as a carbon storage strategy," says Ken Caldeira of the Carnegie Institution at Stanford University. While the experiment failed to show ocean fertilization as a viable carbon storage strategy, it has pushed the old "My dog ate my homework" excuse to an unprecedented level.
Why are well-fed whales a bad thing?
No sig today...
Skinner: Well, I was wrong. The lizards are a godsend.
Lisa: But isn't that a bit short-sighted? What happens when we're overrun by lizards?
Skinner: No problem. We simply unleash wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. They'll wipe out the lizards.
Lisa: But aren't the snakes even worse?
Skinner: Yes, but we're prepared for that. We've lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.
Lisa: But then we're stuck with gorillas!
Skinner: No, that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.
Posts not to be taken literally. Almost everything is sarcasm.
Whale i'll be damned!
Horray for Zoidberg!
It's been converted into whale farts.
We could catch the whales, render their blubber into oil and store it underground or something... um, I guess it would be easier not to burn oil in the first place.
Comment removed based on user account deletion
Can't we fertilize parts of the ocean for plant growth instead?
Maybe a few well placed depth charges filled with Miracle-Gro
What?
Why do you want to shoot Hanz and Franz?
Perhaps. I suspect it'll just make a new sub-species of fat, lazy whales.
$#@&*!$ lazy-ass whales.
Mod my comments down. It'll be fun.
Best argument against "Save the whales" I heard to date.
Who knew Captain Ahab was trying to save the planet all along?
"I am the king of the Romans, and am superior to rules of grammar!"
-Sigismund, Holy Roman Emperor (1368-1437)
Altering the method might fix it.
Simple! Spike the iron with a good pesticide. Problem solved!
(Yes, this was intended to be a joke.)
There is no "I disagree" mod for a reason. Flamebait, Troll, and Overrated are not substitutes.
Perhaps. I suspect it'll just make a new sub-species of fat, lazy whales.
Americans? *rimshot*
I want peace on earth and goodwill toward man.
We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing.
I can't believe it! A slashdot headline that mentioned global warming, but does not include a global warming debate in the comments. How do I submit this as a story?
Sorry about that. I'm a stoner and like to watch SpongeBob
Fixed that for you. We all know you couldn't have a kid -- that would require sex and you are posting on /.
I want peace on earth and goodwill toward man.
We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing.
The zebra mussels (which hitched a ride with ship ballast from Europe)
Ah, the famous mussles from Brussels.
She made the willows dance
I.E slowly release Fe off the back of shipping vessels for 100's of miles
I think this could be done fairly simply by encouraging more tramp steamers to fly under Liberian registry. Those hulls simply drip Fe2O3nH2O and must be very good for phytoplankton growth.
Do not mock my vision of impractical footwear
When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death!