Even Dirtier IT Jobs

snydeq writes "InfoWorld's Dan Tynan offers up 7 'even dirtier IT jobs' in a follow-up of last year's 7 dirtiest jobs in IT. Number four? Zombie console monkey. 'Wanted: Individuals with low self-esteem and high boredom threshold willing to spend long hours poring over server logs and watching blinking lights on a network console.'"

Comments

dirtiest of all:

[larry bagina]

cmdrtaco's toilet slave.

Re:dirtiest of all:

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm cmdrtaco's toilet slave assistant, you insensitive clod!

Based on how fast that burned

[falcon5768]

Website maintainer after being /.ed would be #8

BRAIIINS... need more BRAIIIINS!!!

[spookymonster]

Puts a whole new twist on the old zombie mantra:

Zombie: Braiiiins! Need more BRAIINS!!!
Employer: Yes, you do... your work experience is attrocious!

A PHD in Google's TISP program

[shoppa]

My nomination: A PHD (Plumbing Hardware Dispatcher) in Google's TiSP Program.

Re:Bad jobs? Maybe. But some people will take them

[Smidge207]

When you look into your children's eyes and wonder what will they wear, eat, buy their books and toys from, somehow you feel you can do less-than-dreamlike jobs.

I have two boys and couldn't disagree more; I just beat them and gamble away my wages.

=Smidge=

Re:Bad jobs? Maybe. But some people will take them

[eln]

When you look into your children's eyes and wonder what will they wear, eat, buy their books and toys from, somehow you feel you can do less-than-dreamlike jobs.

I have two boys and couldn't disagree more; I just beat them and gamble away my wages.

=Smidge=

I don't want to call you a bad parent or anything, but the way you're wasting your kids' potential is appalling.

Those kids could be out hustling on the street or working in an illegal textile mill and providing you money to gamble with. Instead, you waste time and energy beating them when the factory foreman could be doing it and paying you for the privilege.

Finally

[nizo]

Zombie console monkey...

Finally, a job that really COULD be replaced with a shell script.

Re:Finally

[Anonymous Coward]

Coworker: "Hey, I checked ps and your new monitor script has zombie status for some reason"

Me: "That means it's working!"

Pointless exercise

[tygerstripes]

Next time: the world's seven wettest oceans!

Re:poring vs pouring

[InsertWittyNameHere]

For those who think "poring" in the summary is a typo, you're not as smart as you think you are.

http://www.google.com/search?q=poring+pouring

So am I the only one pouring things into my logging servers in attempts to stop the blinking lights before my boss notices and forces me to stay late?

Not slashdotted

[PinkyDead]

Your employer is blocking your access to this information to stop you trading up.

Re:ironic...

[Jurily]

Why can't it become routine to (also) link to a cached copy?

Are you suggesting the editors should read what they post?

You must be new here.

Re:Bad jobs? Maybe. But some people will take them

[da' WINS pimp]

Exploitation begins at home. - Unnumbered Ferengi Rule of Acquisition

 

Would this qualify?

[denzacar]

Dirty IT job No. 5: Fearless malware hunter
Wanted: Go-getter with inquisitive nature and a high tolerance for gore, sleaze, and the baser instincts of humanity.

Hunting malware means crawling the deepest, darkest, nastiest corners of the Web, because that's where the bad stuff usually congregates -- such as drive-by installs on porn and warez sites, says Patrick Morganelli, senior vice president of technology for anti-malware vendor Enigma Software.

"Due to the nature of the sites we need to monitor, one of our first questions in any job interview here is, 'Would you mind viewing the most offensive pornography you've ever seen in your life?' Because that's what a lot of malware research entails."

Even employees not actively involved in malware research can encounter deep nastiness, he says. One time an employee merely passed by a support technician's display while the tech was remotely logged in to a customer's PC. What the employee saw on the tech's screen was so disturbing that he quit shortly thereafter.

Sounds a lot like something like this.

Re:I did this

[KeithJM]

I got to sit in a windowless basement data closet. At least it was a paycheck

But did anyone take your stapler?

Re:I did this

[vlm]

I honestly have no idea what kind of system I was logging into, I just know that I was told they were unable to automate the process, so there needed to be a warm body to run the commands.

I did something remarkably similar in the early 90s, until I wrote a nice semi-automated procomm script. As I recall I got it down to selecting a different "dialup number" for each file, hitting enter, and waiting for it to complete the rather elaborate process as I watched, and then started the next one. Or maybe it was Telix. Although it was cool to program, it actually de-evolved my job from lots of typing to literally, "alt-d, scroll down to the next one, hit enter, wait". Anyway after several months, I was rather tired of it all, got a new job, and informed my literally astounded cow orkers about my script (astounded like, mouth hanging open). Boss offered me a better job and more money, but new boss was already expecting me, new job looked like more fun anyway, etc.

It was a VERY large mainframe oriented company, and despite it being the mid 90s, they still did not institutionally understand it was possible to "program" one of those little PC things. Seriously!

Re:I did this

[operagost]

Yes, but at least they gave him a can of bug spray.

Re:I did this

[operagost]

So did you burn the place down?

Re:I did this

[PPH]

You think you have it tough? Try a job where you have to live in a bunker and enter "4 8 15 16 23 42" into an old Apple II every 108 minutes.

You young punks have it easy. Now stay off of my lawn!

Re:I did this

[Locke2005]

You'd be surprised how grateful most companies are when you implement a system that saves them a significant amount of money! Why, in some cases, they will even give you an extra week of severance pay!

Re:I did this

[amoeba1911]

I'm not surprised, most people do not understand the power of a computer. I got a temp job in late 90's that consisted of endlessly copying and pasting things. So, I wrote a script and the script finished several weeks worth of work in just 30 minutes.

108 Minutes

[DarthVain]

Save the world they said... Tropical Island I was told....

The Dirtiest IT Job...

[afabbro]

Wanted for position as Slashdot Editor: Individual with poor spelling skills, no journalist background, and weak memory. Ideal candidate has foaming-at-the-mouth Orwellian fantasies about "rights", rabid Linux advocacy background, and atheist bias. Apple and/or Obama fanboy a plus. Must absolutely have zero graphical design skills (we will check). Inability to optimize JavaScript preferred. Good candidates are those that put their feet up on the sofa during documentaries. Apply online.

Re:Bad jobs? Maybe. But some people will take them

[ObsessiveMathsFreak]

Of course, if nobody cares about you or depends on you then noone will miss you. ... If you got run over by the bus, a few friends, relatives and coworkers would attend the funeral, shrug and say "terrible shame" and get on with their lives. Noone would cry for you, noone would call out your name, noone would reach out for you in the dark wishing you were there.

So you're saying that I should have children in order that, upon my inevitable death, they shall be struck so great an emotional blow that they will keen and wail piteously in futile despair; all for the benefit of my own personal requiem?

.....

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