Segway, GM Partner On Two-Wheeled Electric Car
Slartibartfast was one of many readers sending in news of GM's partnership with Segway to develop a two-seater urban electric vehicle. It's called the Personal Urban Mobility and Accessibility, or "PUMA." This is just a prototype, so don't get your credit card out yet. Its total cost of ownership could be about 1/4 that of a traditional car, GM says. The prototype runs for 35 miles, at a top speed of 35 mph, on lithium-ion batteries. It features the now-familiar Segway balancing technology, though fore-and-aft training wheels are visible on the prototype. Some commentators have likened it to a high-tech rickshaw, others to a golf cart. Engadget describes how the ride feels.
Add a third wheel and suddenly now you don't need thousands of dollars of gyroscopes and such.
Built by a company called Yamaha.
It's hard to believe that's how Micronians are made. Why don't we see it right now by having you both kiss one another?
I mean, let's say a bus is coming towards you. If you're in this thing, you're toast. But if you just WALK, you can always jump out of the way.
There's no -1 for "I don't get it."
I'm bad at math, but isn't that just one hour of drive time?
The idiots are facing bankruptcy, living off taxpayer bailouts and here they are toying with one of the century's worst failures in venture capital backed technology.
Why name it after some mythical creature when it clearly looks more like a warthog?
It's hard to believe that's how Micronians are made. Why don't we see it right now by having you both kiss one another?
PUMA? Portable Urban Mobility and Accessibility?
Is that the best they could come up with?
If a transport product is going to be called PUMA, it should at the very least allow me to stalk prey from tree branches, rocky outcroppings, or tall grass, silently leaping with claws outstretched, to hamstring them and then choke them with my jaws, so I can drag them back to my lair and devour their tender innards at ease.
I think this product should be called COUGAR, for Compensatory Object for Urban Guys Against Railtransit.
"Trolls they were, but filled with the evil will of their master: a fell race..." -- J.R.R. Tolkien on Olog-hai
You can get better mileage out of a small CC motorcycle engine, go faster, and not look as much like an idiot.
I know a motorcycle is still gas, but a battery will be using up other energy somehow, and if you live in Oklahoma like I do, it's just coming from coal or oil.
better yet, just get a horse.
35 mph, 35 miles before a recharge is needed.
A bike will easily go 15 mph, doesn't have a range restriction, and uses no electricity.
A motorized scooter will go the same speed or faster, and has a greater range, plus has the advantage of being able to stop almost anywhere for gasoline.
So which niche is this targetting?
but this thing is an epic fail. It's a prime example of why GM is going into bankruptcy.
One of our competitors trademarked the term "hypothesis". From now on, we will call them "boneheaded ideas".
Red vs Blue - Season 1 Episode 2 - Red Gets a Delivery
Sarge: Hurry up ladies, this ain't no ice cream social!
Simmons: Ice cream social?
Sarge: Stop the pillow-talk you two. Anyone want to guess, why I gathered you here, today?
Grif: Um, is it because the war's over and you're sending us home?
Sarge: That's exactly it, private. War's over. We won. Turns out you're the big hero, and we're gonna hold a parade in your honor. I get to drive the float, and Simmons here, is in charge of confetti!
Grif: I'm no stranger to sarcasm, sir.
Sarge: God dammit private, shut your mouth or else I'll have Simmons slit your throat while you're asleep!
Simmons: Oh, I'd do it too.
Sarge: I know you would Simmons... good man. Couple of things today, ladies: Command has seen fit to increase our ranks here at Blood Gulch Outpost Number 1.
Grif: Crap, we're getting a rookie.
Sarge: That's right dead man. Our new recruit will be here within the week. But today, we received the first part of our shipment from Command. Lopez... bring up the vehicle.
A jeep emerges from the hill behind Sarge
Simmons: Shotgun!
Grif: Shotgun! Fuck!
Sarge: May I introduce, our new light reconnaissance vehicle. It has four inch armor plating, maaag buffer suspension, a mounted machine gunner position, and total seating for three. Gentlemen, this is the M12-LRV! I like to call it the Warthog.
Simmons: Why 'Warthog' sir?
Sarge: Because M12-LRV is too hard to say in conversation, son.
Grif: No, but... why 'Warthog'? I mean, it doesn't really look like a pig...
Sarge: Say that again?
Grif: I think it looks more like a puma.
Sarge: What in sam hell is a puma?
Simmons: Uh... you mean like the shoe company?
Grif: No, like a puma. It's a big cat. Like a lion.
Sarge: You're making that up.
Grif: I'm telling you, it's a real animal!
Sarge: Simmons, I want you to poison Grif's next meal.
Simmons: Yes sir!
Sarge: Look, see these two tow hooks? They look like tusks. And what kind of animal has tusks?
Grif: A walrus.
Sarge: Didn't I just tell you to stop making up animals?
Church is looking at the red team through the sniper rifle, and Tucker is with him
Tucker: What is that thing?
Church: I don't know, but it looks like uh... looks like they got some kinda car down there. We'd better get back to base and report it.
Tucker: A car? How come they get a car?
Church: What are you complaining about man? We're about to get a tank in the very next drop.
Tucker: You can't pick up chicks in a tank.
Church: Oh, you know what, you could bitch about anything, couldn't you. We're gonna get a tank, and you're worried about chicks. What chicks are we gonna pick up man!? Firay, and secondly, how are we gonna pick up chicks in a car that looks like that?
Tucker: Well what kind of car is it?
Church: I don't know, I've never seen a car that looks like that before, it looks like a uh... like a big cat of some kind.
Tucker: ... ... what, like a puma?
Church: Yeah man, there ya go.
Back to the reds
Sarge: So unless anybody else has any more mythical creatures to suggest as a name for the new vehicle, we're gonna stick with 'the Warthog'. How about it Grif?
Grif: No sir, no more suggestions.
Sarge: Are you sure? How 'bout Bigfoot?
Grif: That's okay.
Sarge: Unicorn?
Grif: No really, I'm... I'm cool.
Sarge: Sasquatch?
Segway: Stealing the last particle of human dignity from rent-a-cops worldwide.
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