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Better Living Through Nukes?
perkonis writes "So, you've got 23,000 nukes laying about and no one to use them on. What to do with them? Well, you blow up stuff for fun and profit. Some of the ideas range from good on paper (such as mining oil shale) to just downright bad (such as making a new Panama Canal). Making a big ditch by blowing up nukes — what could possibly go wrong?"
I always wanted to get back at John for that prank!
What about creating mutants?
"Radioactive waste is dangerous and toxic so we need a safe way of disposing of it without the possibility of it leaking into the ground. I propose pumping it into the ground."
Sell them to Iran, North Korea or whoever wants some and use the cash obtained to finance various economic stimulation packages. Then as soon as the money, gold, diamonds or whatever is in the bank have them self destruct via some CIA,NSA bit of trickery. Seen it in a James Bond film so it must be possible.
I don't get what the big deal is. How can they lead to healthy living? They don't exactly have a lot of nutritional value---just a smidgeon of vitamin C. Don't get me wrong; they are yummy and all---especially the hot house variety, with fewer seeds and the flavor...oh, the flavor is wonderful.
Wha? Oh. *N*ukes.
Sorry.
Life is short; think quickly.
Mutant bass? With lasers?
I find your ideas intriguing and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!
You must be new here. Stick around; I'm sure something dumber, more henious or dangerous will be posted soon - probably by a reader!
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to cook and dye some Easter eggs so I can leave them out for hours in the warn weather for kids to find tomorrow...
It must have been something you assimilated. . . .
you have to implement all these schemes from orbit
its the only way to be sure
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
What if these results in some sort of mutant PETA/Greenpeace/Harbor monster?! It might protest us to death!
Can we do that to California?
If a wide enough opening is made in the mountains between California and other desert states would it bring good climate change? If Arizona, Nevada, etc could be made lush I'd nuke 'em.
I'd go on a Vegan diet but the delivery time from Vega is too long. --brownkitty
I hear that Somalia could use a few....errrrr...adjustments.
Friends don't let friends line-dance.
and I don't trust your people more than the russian people.
The Hungarian army couldn't take over Heathrow Airport, so that's understandable.
Oh, you thought I was American?
IANYourL. This post is my rambling, not legal advice. Do not rely on this post for any reason.
And here I was, about to use your profound insight to make life changing decisions. Pompous ass.
I suggest blowing all the ice in Antarctica to put more water into oceans to dissolve all that dangerous CO2 to keep it away from the atmosphere to stop the global warming and finally to avoid the melting of Antarctica.
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. - Yogi Berra
Yes I can!
The Hungarian army couldn't take over Heathrow Airport, so that's understandable.
A lesser known fact is that they tried a few years ago, but are still waiting for their bags to arrive...
"Little does he know, but there is no 'I' in 'Idiot'!"