Slashdot Mirror

← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)

Cutting Steel With Flaming Bacon Weapons

Posted by samzenpus on from the Kingdom-of-Loathing-gets-a-little-more-real dept.

Ed Pegg writes "Theo Gray demonstrates the Bacon Lance, a flaming meatsword that can cut through steel. Yes, with some ordinary bacon, and some pure oxygen, it's possible to cut through security doors. Form the article, 'I recently committed myself to the goal, before the weekend was out, of creating a device entirely from bacon and using it to cut a steel pan in half. My initial attempts were failures, but I knew success was within reach when I was able to ignite and melt the pan using seven beef sticks and a cucumber.' This comes out right after his profusely illustrated book of science experiments, Mad Science."

16 of 73 comments (clear)

  1. Reminds me... by ExploHD · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Around the time Attack of the Clones, Wienerschnitzel cashed in with their own light saber type toy called a Wiener Saber... It was an off red color, almost pink...

  2. Theodore Gray by Zouden · · Score: 5, Informative

    Is also known as the guy who made a periodic table table (for which he was awarded an Ig Nobel Prize).

    --
    "A week in the lab saves an hour in the library"
  3. Um... by ectotherm · · Score: 5, Funny

    Is this one of those Government "Pork Projects" I keep reading about? ;-)

    --
    "Nature bats last..."
    1. Re:Um... by LifesABeach · · Score: 2, Funny

      I just had this thought that this is one "Tool" that Islam will not use to "build" with...

  4. Prosciutto is not bacon by gyrogeerloose · · Score: 2, Insightful

    It's ham. But I still have to wonder if the expensive imported varieties make a better thermal lance than the cheap, domestic product

    --
    This ain't rocket surgery.
    1. Re:Prosciutto is not bacon by Eskarel · · Score: 3, Informative

      And TFA is wrong.

      Prosciutto is an expensive salt cured ham. You do not need to cook it. Even if it came from the same part of the pig and was otherwise identical to bacon(which it isn't) the salt curing would be more than enough to make it different. It's chemically different than regular(or even canadian) bacon and at the least contains a whole heck of a lot of salt which regular bacon does not.

    2. Re:Prosciutto is not bacon by Nick+Number · · Score: 4, Funny

      I've made bacon and I know the truth, you can't handle the truth.

      Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls need to be guarded by men with flaming bacon lances.

      Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lieutenant Weinberg? That ain't kosher.

      I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago and curse the Marines; you have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved your bacon, and that my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives.

      You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall; you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, prosciutto. We use them as the backbone of a life trying to defend something. You use them as a punchline.

      I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under a blanket of the very bacon I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you," and went on your way.

      Otherwise, I suggest that you pick up a bacon lance and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

      n who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very bacon I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said "thank you," and went on your way.

      Otherwise, I suggest that you pick up a bacon lance and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

      --
      Promote proofreading. Don't mod up sloppy posts.
  5. Meatsword? Really? by pete-classic · · Score: 4, Funny

    Dear Ed,

    However many times you considered and reconsidered using the world "meatsword" in your summary, double it next time. Unless it was fewer than three, in which case, double that.

    This guideline clearly doesn't apply if you're writing slash fiction. (Which, I might add, might be a fine way for you to channel this sort of thing in the future.)

    Other than that, I think you should follow this guideline.

    Thanks,
    Peter

  6. i gotta say it by indy_Muad'Dib · · Score: 2, Funny

    PORKSWORD!!!!!!


    yea go ahead and mod me down, i deserve it.

    but it was worth it.

  7. Hokey religions and ancient weapons... by Minwee · · Score: 5, Funny

    Ahh, the bacon laser sword. The chosen weapon of the Cheddar Monks.

    An elegant weapon, from a more civilized age.

    1. Re:Hokey religions and ancient weapons... by 0WaitState · · Score: 2, Funny

      Depends, did the have a cheddite projector?

      --

      Remain calm! All is well!
  8. Oblig by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    In Soviet Russia, bacon fry pan!

  9. Kindom of Loathing by Dracil · · Score: 2, Informative

    Sounds like a weapon right out of that game. And if not, I can imagine them adding it in after this.

  10. Re:also known as by fluffy99 · · Score: 3, Informative

    Actually you can cut steel with pure oxygen - its called a cutting torch. With a cutting torch the flame is only there to get the metal up to the ignition point, after which the metal itself burns in the stream of oxygen. Once you get a cutting torch going and a cut started, you can actually turn off the actylene and continue with just the oxygen jet going.

    In the first video when you see the sparks flying, thats the metal buring in the oxygen rich flow.

  11. Real Meat for Rocket Motors by DynaSoar · · Score: 4, Informative

    Mythbusters confirmed (episodes 51 and 64) a story about using salami http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MythBusters_(season_4)#Salami_Rocket as fuel in a hybrid rocket motor http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hybrid_rocket , with nitrous oxide as an oxidizer. Their contention was that it was or could have been done in the US civil war. It was done in fact by an amateur rocketer. Oxidizing hydrocarbons produces energy, whether it's kerosene/LOX (a common combination since the V2) or lipids/Nox.

    --
    "I may be synthetic, but I'm not stupid." -- Bishop 341-B
  12. Re:also known as by LoRdTAW · · Score: 3, Informative

    Parent is correct. I had an oxy-propane torch for cutting and the torch handle has two mixing valves and then a trigger lever. You adjust the mixing valves to get a nice hot flame and then start to heat the metal. once it gets to the point where it begins to get yellow hot and starts to melt you squeeze the lever and out come a stream of oxygen. Then you start seeing sparks fly! At that point the flame isn't doing any cutting, the oxygen is.

    The "bacon" lance is a thermal lance that is made of meat. A real thermal lance is easy to make.You take a 1/2 piece of steel pipe, pack it full of thin steel rods and just connect a valve to one end that is hooked to an oxygen tank. You light it with a cutting torch and it works like the torch, only it does not have its own gaseous fuel source but instead burns the steel. They can punch holes through concrete and slice steel I beams like a hot knife through butter. As the lance burns it gets shorter, that is why some are upward of eight to ten feet long. If you ever get to see a bridge or overpass demolished you will see thermal lances used to cut the beams and anchors.