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Papers Sealed In Class Action Against RIAA

Posted by samzenpus on from the for-their-eyes-only dept.

NewYorkCountryLawyer writes "In Andersen v. Atlantic Recording, the Oregon class action brought by Tanya Anderson against the RIAA, MediaSentry, and others, the plaintiff's motion for class action certification has been sealed by the Court. Also, the Court conducted an 'in camera' conference with the defendants' attorneys — meaning the Judge met with the defendants' attorneys alone — in connection with a discovery motion, and the record of that conference has been sealed as well. The RIAA has made a motion to dismiss the class action; that has not been sealed. In case you're wondering what's going on here, so am I."

8 of 215 comments (clear)

  1. Sealed = for sale by MrEricSir · · Score: 5, Funny

    The documents are sealed in a plastic box, but you can buy them for only $15.95 at your local record store.

    If you copy them, we'll sue you. And there's no refunds if you don't like the documents.

    --
    There's no -1 for "I don't get it."
    1. Re:Sealed = for sale by tnk1 · · Score: 5, Funny

      Obviously fake. If this was real, it would have been mentioned that you have *leased* the contents to that box.

      By terms of the license, you may enjoy the documents, but only for your personal and exclusive use.

      The RIAA would never actually let you use the word "own" withing 50 feet of the IP that they have worked so hard to wring out of musicians.

    2. Re:Sealed = for sale by grumpyman · · Score: 5, Funny

      Only the first guy needs to purchase it. The rest can get it from Pirate B... wait a minute...

  2. Uh-oh! by Red+Flayer · · Score: 5, Funny
    Ray Beckerman:

    In case you're wondering what's going on here, so am I."

    Oh fuck. It was bad enough when we had rank-and-file nerds asking for legal advice on slashdot.

    Now we have a 'house lawyer', so to speak, and he's asking for legal information on slashdot.

    The apocalypse is upon us! Run for the hills!*

    IANAL. Even if I were a lawyer, I'd not be YOUR lawyer. This is not legal advice. By reading this footnote, you are agreeing to not hold Red Flayer liable for any damages sustained while running for the hills. For that matter, please walk, don't run -- and make sure to look both ways before crossing the street.

    --
    "Trolls they were, but filled with the evil will of their master: a fell race..." -- J.R.R. Tolkien on Olog-hai
    1. Re:Uh-oh! by Red+Flayer · · Score: 5, Funny

      Good post, Red_Flayer. But I thought you guys could help me out and explain to me what's going on; I've only been working in the litigation field for 35 years, so I'm kind of new at this.

      Well, Ray, I wasn't really looking for any kind of response or anything, I was just making a joke.

      But since you insist on getting my advice... let me help you out.

      1. Google is your friend. It probably won't help you move, definitely won't help you move bodies, but if you use an anonymizing proxy, it may be a good place to research how to get rid of bodies.

      2. Never tell a judge his robe makes him look fat. Relatedly, never tell him that his gavel is compensating for something.
      3. The best response to "Order in the Court!" is "Ham and cheese on rye, yer Honor!"

      That's about all the free legal advice I can give at this time, if you're looking for more where that came from, my billable rate is $375.

      --
      "Trolls they were, but filled with the evil will of their master: a fell race..." -- J.R.R. Tolkien on Olog-hai
    2. Re:Uh-oh! by NewYorkCountryLawyer · · Score: 5, Funny

      That's about all the free legal advice I can give at this time, if you're looking for more where that came from, my billable rate is $375.

      No problem; just send the bills to CowboyNeal.

      --
      Ray Beckerman +5 Insightful
  3. Trade Secret by spun · · Score: 5, Funny

    RIAA Lawyer: Your Honor, we need to disclose our trade secrets to you, in private.
    Judge: Okay, step into my chambers. Now, what's this big secret of yours?
    RIAA Lawyer: (points)
    Judge: Well that looks like a briefcase full of hundreds, a kilo of Peruvian Marching Powder, and a coupon book for 'Escorts R Us.'
    RIAA Lawyer: Sssshhh! That's a trade secret!

    --
    - None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton
  4. Re:Sing Along Boys and Girls by ffoiii · · Score: 5, Funny

    Are you by chance a Vogon?