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Flu Models Predict Pandemic, But Flu Chips Ready
An anonymous reader writes "Supercomputer software models predict that swine flu will likely go pandemic sometime next week, but flu chips capable of detecting the virus within four hours are already rolling off the assembly line. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS), which has designated swine flu as the '2009 H1N1 flu virus,' is modeling the spread of the virus using modeling software designed by the Department of Defense back when avian flu was a perceived threat. Now those programs are being run on cluster supercomputers and predict that officials are not implementing enough social distancing--such as closing all schools--to prevent a pandemic. Companies that designed flu-detecting chips for avian flu, are quickly retrofitting them to detect swine flu, with the first flu chips being delivered to labs today." Relatedly, at least one bio-surveillance firm is claiming they detected and warned the CDC and the WHO about the swine flu problem in Mexico over two weeks before the alert was issued.
All this talk of swines, avians, and now Pan(demic)s make me hungry for bacon & eggs.
Children are good carriers. Kill the children, it's the only way for humanity to survive.
I've already read World War Z, so I'm not worried -- I'm prepared.
You don't have to reload a blade.
Stressed? Me? Of course not. Stress is what a rubber band feels before it breaks, silly.
2. Wait for a disaster
3. Shout from the roof top, "I warned! I warned!!".
4. ...
5. Profit!
sed -e 's/Chuck Norris/Rajnikant/g' joke > fact
Do they come coated in a powdered cheese? If so, I'll probably go through at least 3 dozen of them.
I think what you're trying to say here is that unless they declare martial law, closing schools and putting pressure on sporting event center owners is about all they can do to stem this. Unless you're President Madagascar (someone link to the image, thanks in advance)
moox. for a new generation.
2009 H1N1 flu virus
Colloquially known as the heinie virus of 2009.
Cluster Computer Predicts Cluster Fuck For Clustered People.
Film at 11.
Try to stay at least seven people away from Kevin Bacon
omg, antibiotics don't work against viruses
Yeah, but you're supposed to take them anyway. Nobody knows why.
A few deaths are acceptable to keep the economy running. We're talking millions or billions of dollars of lost economic activity.
Are you quoting who? Dr. Strange Love?
> nourished, reasonably fit
Half the problem with these nasty virus is that people with the strongest immune systems die, because the immune reaction kills them.
My plan, get drunk and have as little sleep as possible for the next couple of months so my immune system is suppressed :)