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Google Puts the Brakes On Saving the World
An anonymous reader sends along a sharp and snarky article that takes Google to task for taking longer than expected to award $10M in its competition to find and fund world-bettering ideas. The submitter comments, "After using its tenth birthday as occasion to solicit philanthropic ideas from Web users through its Project 10^100, Google appears to have backed off from its commitment to provide $10 million in funding to the winner. While the company was supposed to reveal the Project 10^100 winner in February, Google has since delayed the vote once and now suspended it indefinitely, due to the overwhelming response — Google says it received 150,000 entries. A Google spokeswoman wouldn't commit to a new date, saying only it would be delayed 'for a while longer.' She further apologized for the company's 'over optimistic assumptions about how quickly we could analyze all the ideas that we've received.'"
Well, that's it, then. In November the Savior was elected, so no need for further ideas or awards. It's all in good hands now, thank you. Let's go back to Oprah.
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Most of them are probably asking for Colbert to be elected President.
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I don't know what's taking them so long...my idea to replace inefficient jet-fuel-burning airliners with giant gliders and slingshots was so clearly superior to any other ideas they could have received, I don't understand why I haven't received my check yet.
Why even bother with entries? Just google for "best world bettering idea".
Sleep your way to a whiter smile...date a dentist!
Hmph! 21026 of my 25826 ideas were easily better than this! Seriously, what's with all you people spamming bad ideas like that at them? All your doing is making them take longer sifting through my ideas to tell me which one of them won.
DISCLAIMER: I am very rarely serious. If the above comment seems asinine makes no sense, it is most likely a bad joke.
Thanks for offering the choice. I'm gonna assume they're horribly evil.
See, the truth of the matter is that Google is now assembling a database of all the possible ways the world could be saved. Meanwhile, they have a crack team of evil underlords working to make sure that Google has appropriate counter-strategies to the the world-saving methods with the highest PageRanks.
This way, when Googol the Destroyer is summoned from the Plane of Infernal Terrors to wreak the End of Days upon the world, no measly humans will be able to execute a plan to thwart him.
Mwua-ha-ha-ha.
Humanity's only hope will be that the eminent rival sorcerors, Gatus and Joba, will overcome their mutual disdain in order to devise an artifact of true power, the One True Operating System with Built-in Global Web Search, that will condemn Googol to return to the Plane of Infernal Terrors. Unfortunately, the roving druid Stallmanx has thrown a wrench into the works by turning the hearts and minds of lesser sorcerors (and hedge wizards) against Gatus and Joba, and so our heroes must overcome the animosity of their lesser brethren before they can fulfill their quest.
Will Gatus and Joba succeed? Will we ever find out what wonders lie beneath the surface of Stallmanx's Beard of Druidic Prowess? Will Googol succeed in bringing about the End of Days via the Rite of a Million Targeted Ads?
Tune in to next week's broadcast of "Googol the Destroyer"!
"Trolls they were, but filled with the evil will of their master: a fell race..." -- J.R.R. Tolkien on Olog-hai
I'm obviously going to win with my idea to feed the people from overpopulated countries to starving people. Gets rid of world hunger and overpopulation! :D If you want to be even more evil, tweak it so you're feeding obese people from overpopulated countries to starving people to get rid of three major problems with one stone! Hell, less people may mean less global warming, too. And pirates!
Wait, people across the world are people too? LIES!
Working out little details like that will happen after we get the funding.
I'm glad to see you've been following my work. You don't happen to be a venture capitalist, do you?
Hey, come on guys! We can't fault them for this. The project is only in beta!
Do you want to learn from those who succeeded, or from the failures?
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The previous post has been removed due to copyright violation by The Church of Scientology.
I hope they pick my idea: hold a competition to provide $9 million to someone with the best idea on how to help the world.
My webcomic
I'm a venture capitalist from Nigeria. Now if you'll just be kindly sending me your plans for your new transportation system along with a $1,000 processing fee we will begin the process of funding your project. Get back to me quickly! there are many projects we're interested in an only a limited number can be funded.
You are using English. Please learn the difference between loose and lose; they're, there, and their; your and you're.
Google has all the answers. Try this search:
which is the best google 10 ^ 100 idea
(press I'm feeling lucky)
It just sounds more like 150,000 projects is a whole lot more than they expected to get.
Now if only they could find someone who's really adept at searching through large quantities of documents and ranking the relevant results....
"You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war." -- Albert Einstein
Why even bother with entries? Just google for "best world bettering idea".
Hey, it worked! It only returned one result, so I know it must be true. So, google says the best world bettering idea is:
Re: (Score:2, Funny). by davester666 (731373). Why even bother with entries? Just google for "best world bettering idea". ...
Dude, you totally called it!
I'm a venture capitalist from Nigeria. Now if you'll just be kindly sending me your plans for your new transportation system along with a $1,000 processing fee we will begin the process of funding your project. Get back to me quickly! there are many projects we're interested in an only a limited number can be funded.
You have used contractions properly. You have made no spelling errors. Except for one word (beginning your final sentence), you have used capitalization appropriately. You have used correct grammar throughout your message. Your punctuation is sensible. And, if that were not sufficient, you have not even given a feasible-sounding fake name.
YOUR A DESGRACE TOO THE NIGERIAN SPAMMERS GUILD!!!
Walter M'Boti-Wakele,
Membership Secretary, NSG
Ahh - My eye!
The doctor said I'm not supposed to get Slashdot in it!
I suppose they didn't approve of my idea of a death ray. oh well, I'll get the $10 million either way...