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Texas Makes Zombie Fire Ants
eldavojohn writes "What do you do when a foreign species has been introduced to your land from another continent? Bring over the natural predator from the other continent. Scientists in Texas have introduced four kinds of phorid flies from South America to fight fire ants. These USDA approved flies dive bomb ants and lay an egg inside the ant. The maggot hatches and eats away juicy tender delicious ant brain until the ant is nothing more than a zombie that wanders around for two weeks before the head falls off and the ant dies. A couple of these flies will cause the ants to modify their behavior and this will be a very slow acting solution to curb the $1 billion in damage these ants do to Texas cattle ranches and — oddly enough — electrical equipment like circuit breakers. You may remember zombifying parasites hitting insects like cockroaches."
You call this a zombie apocalypse? This ain't nothing compared to the zombie attack of 57.
My first thought was "Why does Texas need a zombie to terminate the employment of ants, and how did they get a job in the first place?"
Then I realized, this is Texas, afterall.
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DRM is like antifreeze, to the MPAA/RIAA it's sweet, to the consumers it's poison.
This is what those environmentalists should be doing. Using nature against nature in ways that can help man.
---Hank Hill of Arlen, TX
Skinner: Well, I was wrong. The lizards are a godsend.
Lisa: But isn't that a bit short-sighted? What happens when we're overrun by lizards?
Skinner: No problem. We simply release wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. They'll wipe out the lizards.
Lisa: But aren't the snakes even worse?
Skinner: Yes, but we're prepared for that. We've lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.
Lisa: But then we're stuck with gorillas!
Skinner: No, that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.
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Zombies are never the answer. Oh wait. Zombie ant overlords? That's totally different.
Sorry, but gray text on gray background is making my eyes bleed.
Way to fuck over the native ants, Texas. Not to mention any other unpredictable side-effects, which, when talking about introduced species, are /ALWAYS BAD/.
Too true.
Exhibit A: American colonials
"These are very slow acting," Plowes said. "It's more like a cumulative impact measured across a time frame of years. It's not an immediate silver bullet impact."
Well of course there's no silver bullet impact for zombie fire ants, but if we need to get rid of some werewolf fire ants, the silver bullets might do the trick!
I for one don't welcome your tired unfunny cliche use.
When are the Russians going to get around to linking all these zombies into a botnet? Or would that be a bugnet?
Kwisatz Haderach
Sell the spice to CHOAM
This Mahdi took Shaddam's Throne
I for one welcome our new Zombie Fire Ant overlords.
Somebody with an ant farm moderated you a Troll.
Porky Pig tried this once in an old Bug Bunny cartoon.
He had a mouse problem, so he bought a cat.
When Porky Pig went to bed, the cat invited all of his friends over and they got wasted played the piano loudly and sang drinking songs. One of the cats had a lampshade on his head and everything.
When Porky Pig got fed up with this, he bought a dog. How he found a place in the 50's or 60's that sold dogs in the middle of the night is anyone's guess. He let the dog loose in the house and waited.
The cats got the dog drunk and he was singing with them in about 30 seconds.
So obviously these flies are eventually going to get drunk and sing, which is pretty cool, making this plan sweet.
Yeah. Some of them are called Bob.
The good, the evil and the vacuum tubes.
I don't know if zombie ants can be overlords. They lack brains.
The good, the evil and the vacuum tubes.
Just like our current human overlords, then.
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law
Animal, vegetable, or mineral?
Screw taxonomy. If it moves, it's an animal, eat it. If it don't move, it might be vegetable, eat it. If it wasn't a vegetable, you needed your minerals anyway.
"Windows is like the faint smell of piss in a subway: it's there, and there's nothing you can do about it." - Charlie Br