Slashdot Mirror
Scientists Discover Common Ancestor of Monkeys, Apes, and Humans
reporter writes "According to a report by the Wall Street Journal, scientists have discovered the common ancestor of monkeys, apes, and Slashdotters. The 47 million year old fossils were discovered in Germany. The ancestor physically resembles today's lemur. Quoting: 'The skeleton will be unveiled at New York City's American Museum of Natural History next Tuesday by Mayor Michael Bloomberg and an international team involved in the discovery. According to Prof. Gingerich, the fossilized remains are of a young female adapid. The skeleton was unearthed by collectors about two years ago and has been kept tightly under wraps since then, in an unusual feat of scientific secrecy. Prof. Gingerich said he had twice examined the adapid skeleton, which was "a complete, spectacular fossil." The completeness of the preserved skeleton is crucial, because most previously found fossils of ancient primates were small finds, such as teeth and jawbones.'"
Trying to learn what we don't know is how we grow.
I found the missing link a little while ago though- I had a conversation over coffee a couple of weeks ago with someone who turned out to be a creationist. We ended up having the dreaded creationism-vs-darwinism "discussion". The gentleman in question was extremely stubborn, and his coffin-nail-arguement against darwinism, believe it or not, was that there was "no proof of evolution". I spewed trying to contain my laughter. Needless to say, the conversation ended at that point quite abruptly.
A fascinating discovery though.
http://www.bistolas.net
Slashdotters aren't human, you insensitive clod. Humans are social animals, we on the other hand, are not.
I wanted to see pictures of this fossil. Preferably high-resolution images that I can gaze and and imagine what it looked like with flesh and fur, climbing, running and using simple tools. But no... no such thing. Just a picture of a lemur.
"Is this a revolutionary finding? Shouldn't the common ancestors be in Africa?"
If this is really a common ancestor of Slashdotters, the maternal basement/cave will be nearby and yield further clues.
"This post is an artistic work of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."
Since the fossilized creature found in Germany didn't have features like a tooth comb or grooming claw, it could be argued that it gave rise to monkeys, apes and humans, which don't have these features either.
humans don't have a grooming claw? I've got 2 of them!
No he's not confusing anything. These lemur-like creatures were the nerds of their day. Of course they lived in maternal basement caves. Look at their eyes, man. Probably hopped up on Mountain Cacao Pods all the time. They invented the net, and spent all their time trying to find interesting things to put in their nets.
Sadly, this race of proto-nerds did not survive, as the males of the species were singularly unattractive to the females and they were unable to procreate.
- None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton
We've actually known about Rosie O'Donnell for some time now.
"How is the news being anticipated in the scientific community? 'I honestly think this is an incredible job of marketing,' says paleontologist K. Christopher Beard of the Carnegie Museum of Natural History in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, who has not seen the report but has read the news. He points out that other fossils of similar age from China, Myanmar, and India have also been proposed as some of the earliest anthropoids. 'At this stage, color me skeptical.'"
So he admits to not RTFA but won't believe it? Yup, clearly a slashdotter.
You should ask one of them to explain "anecdotal evidence" to you. Then maybe some statistics, including significance levels and sampling theory.
Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
I always thought it was in January of 1970...
Okay, maybe they died out because they had no sense of humor.
- None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton
I'd say the word of God trumps the Catholic church. At least when it comes to who gets the say in Christianity. And the bible clearly shows God doesn't have evolution. Or at least if there is evolution MAN was created there was none before us.
A guy from a competing institution who hasn't even seen the report, is skeptical?
No shit - how is that a point?
Then the only appropriate classificaiton name would be "Cowardus Anonymous Vulgaris".
(Boy, is this going to cost me karma...)
Hey, would you mind if I borrowed that next time I want to get modded up? Thanks!
#DeleteChrome
If the fossils are 47 million years old, they had about 45 million years in which to migrate.
. . . of course, they might have been carried by a unladen European Swallow from Africa to Germany . . .
Schroedinger's Brexit: The UK is both in and out of the EU at the same time!
Poster has purposefully written flame bait. The article expresses that this will not answer a creationism vs. ape evolution debate, and that the fossils discovered could be an ancestor of lemurs, monkeys, and humans. Forget your opinions on this matter and mod the post as such.
Where genius and insanity become confused true wisdom is found
"According to a report by the Wall Street Journal, scientists have discovered the common ancestor of monkeys, apes, and Slashdotters."
Defaming monkeys and apes are we?
Obviously, thousands of years ago, we were different
Thousands of years ago, we were not different. Tens of thousands of years ago, we may have been slightly different.
The earth is less than ten thousand years old, you ignorant pagan.
Some say we came from linguini, some say rotini. I for one believe we are all freshly boiled and come from his noodley highness's image alone.