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Cola Consumption Can Lead To Muscle Problems

Posted by timothy on from the but-your-lifting-arm's-doing-fine dept.

wjousts writes "As I'm sure many Slashdot readers live almost exclusively on cola drinks, a new warning from doctors: 'Doctors have issued a warning about excessive cola consumption after noticing an increase in the number of patients suffering from muscle problems, according to the June issue of IJCP, the International Journal of Clinical Practice. ... 'Evidence is increasing to suggest that excessive cola consumption can also lead to hypokalaemia, in which the blood potassium levels fall, causing an adverse effect on vital muscle functions.' And sorry, diet colas aren't any better."

18 of 420 comments (clear)

  1. Cool story bro by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    I drink mountain dew instead.

    1. Re:Cool story bro by wjousts · · Score: 5, Funny

      And Diet Caffeine free is just fine.

      I wouldn't be as bold as to suggest that anything about Diet Caffeine free coke is "fine".

    2. Re:Cool story bro by Jarik+C-Bol · · Score: 5, Funny

      caffeine free diet soda. for when you are low on artificial coloring.

      --
      I've decided to Diversify my Holdings. I've divided my cash between my left and right pockets, instead of all in one.
    3. Re:Cool story bro by CarpetShark · · Score: 4, Funny

      I'll preface this with... INAHN (I'm not a health nut), I'm just very aware of the bad things that I consume. I'm smoking a cigarette and drinking a tall glass of cold soda while I'm writing this. :)

      It's a strange world where people say this as a way of convincing you to listen to them on health topics :)

    4. Re:Cool story bro by modecx · · Score: 3, Funny

      God damn, not this shit again. How do you tell people what they think tastes good and tastes bad? It's all up to the individual. I can't stand the taste of beer, any beer and I've tried my fair share, yet that's an absolutely huge industry so surely there are just a lot of people out there that just have bad taste right?

      If you can taste the beer you're not drinking enough.

      --
      Constitutional rights may be respected, repealed, or modified; but they must never be ignored.
  2. Shit by sexconker · · Score: 4, Funny

    Define "excessive", please.

    1. Re:Shit by altinos.com · · Score: 2, Funny

      Pregnant for the last six years?

    2. Re:Shit by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      No shit they are morbidly obese. These are Americans we are talking about.

  3. This stuff is b-a-n-a-n-a-s by Red+Flayer · · Score: 5, Funny

    'Evidence is increasing to suggest that excessive cola consumption can also lead to hypokalaemia, in which the blood potassium levels fall, causing an adverse effect on vital muscle functions.'

    Bananas contain lots of potassium.

    Solution is obvious: drink all the cola you want, just make sure to supplement with banana ice cream. Added advantage of calcium and magnesium in the ice cream (also necessary for proper muscle function).

    This post brought to you by Dole-omite and Benn & Gerry's.

    --
    "Trolls they were, but filled with the evil will of their master: a fell race..." -- J.R.R. Tolkien on Olog-hai
    1. Re:This stuff is b-a-n-a-n-a-s by Moblaster · · Score: 4, Funny

      Too late. A certain extremely large software company has already patented the banana ice cream Coke float (as well as a number of variations involve diet and Pepsi applications) in order to provide its programmers a permanent competitive advantage.

  4. Crap by Archangel+Michael · · Score: 4, Funny

    I fear for Abby (NCIS).

    --
    Agent K: A *person* is smart. People are dumb, stupid, panicky animals, and you know it.
  5. Re:This study sponsored by 7-Up - The Uncola! by Chabo · · Score: 5, Funny

    But if you mix cola and uncola, they annihilate each other, producing huge amounts of pure energy. Be careful!

    --
    Convert FLACs to a portable format with FlacSquisher
  6. Re:Not gonna help you, bro by whiledo · · Score: 3, Funny

    chemical-ultratoxin kills faster than bullet

    That would explain the piles of dead bodies that I see stacked up next to every soda fountain and convenience store on a daily basis, what with it being faster than a bullet and all.

    Okay, I just can't help it - I really hope you are a non-native English speaker. Otherwise, I'm afraid I'm going to have to rewrite your post:

    What's the difference. Diet (sic!) drinks use aspartam (sic) as a substitute for sugar. Well, for anyone who has (sic) IQ higer (sic) than typical showel (sic) or (sic) brick, I must (sic) not to (sic) explain, (sic) that this chemical-ultratoxin kills faster than (sic) bullet.

    If you are a native English speaker, you have the IQ of a showel.

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  7. Good thing I drink Mountain Dew... by shellster_dude · · Score: 5, Funny

    I only have to worry about a shrinking penis.

    http://www.snopes.com/medical/potables/mountaindew.asp

  8. Re:Not gonna help you, bro by Grishnakh · · Score: 2, Funny

    I'll have to rewrite your post:

    If you are a native English speaker, you have the IQ of a (sic) showel.

  9. What's Next? by Tablizer · · Score: 2, Funny

    Next they'll tell us that pizza, lack of sun, and too much pr0n leads to painful death.
         

    --
    Table-ized A.I.
  10. I was going to type an awesome comment here.. by wellingtonsteve · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...but the muscles in my fingers have given up..

  11. You Can Pry My Cola by timeOday · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...from my limp, pallid hands.