Slashdot Mirror
FBI, US Marshals Hit By Virus
Norsefire writes "The FBI and US Marshals were forced to shut down part of their computer network after being hit by a 'mystery virus.' FBI spokesman Mike Kortan said, 'We are evaluating a network issue on our external, unclassified network that's affecting several government agencies.' Nikki Credic, spokeswoman for the US Marshals, said that no data has been compromised but the type of virus and its origin is unknown."
You wanna know how you do it? Here's how, they hit you with a virus, you pull a gun. He sends one of your servers to the IT department, you send one of his to the morgue. That's the Chicago way, and that's how you get Capone! Now do you want to do that? Are you ready to do that?
They DO use Macs. And Dell. They were shown VERY CLEARLY inside FBI headquarters during season 7 of 24.
Please copy this file to your hard drive, decompress it, untar it, chmod it, and place an entry in the root crontab... so I can have your advice.
If you mod me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.
Yeah it's called windows *laughs*
Why is common sense called that if it's not common?
It's known as the "fastlead" virus, and it's frequently game over if you get infected.
Knowledge is how to play a game, intelligence is how to win, wisdom is knowing what game to play.
US Air Force General Kevin Chilton, head of US Strategic Command, has said that attacks on the United States via the Internet could merit a conventional military response.
"I don't think you take anything off the table. We're particularly looking toward one group in Seattle."
The Seattle-based insurgent group is thought to have seeded American government and military computers with millions of copies of malware that allows attackers easy access to any data stored on the computer, or indeed to take complete control of the computer and use it for their own ends as part of a massive "botnet" to mount further attacks. The malware, "Windows," makes securing a computer running it almost impossible.
"Turning Seattle into a glass crater would only be undertaken strictly as the minimum required surgical military action," emphasised Chilton, "and not in any way out of twenty-five years' bitter resentment and frustration at computing machinery."
Chilton stressed that members of the US military must begin to think of their computers as the front lines. "Do you realize that in addition to adding Windows to computers, why, there are studies underway to Windowsize salt, flour, fruit juices, soup, sugar, milk ... ice cream. Ice cream, Mandrake, children's ice cream! I can no longer sit back and allow Windows infiltration, Windows indoctrination, Windows subversion and the international enterprise licensing conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids!"
The Obama administration is currently reviewing the United States' cyberspace defense policy. "We're considering all options thoroughly," said the President, closing his MacBook and looking lingeringly at the red button on his desk.
http://rocknerd.co.uk
They're the government, they're not supposed to lie.
Maybe the virus writer is a disgruntled Pisser that didn't like DHS invading his personal pee space during a lay over in Houston?
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong fix.