Steorn's "Free Energy" Jury Comes Back To Bite Them

chiark writes "Remember Steorn? Free energy for all, coming soon, and a gauntleted slap in the face to the physics establishment: 'come be our jury, and prove us right or wrong.' Well, 2 years later, the jury's verdict is in, and it's not the validation Steorn was hoping for: 'Twenty-two independent scientists and engineers were selected by Steorn to form this jury. It has for the past two years examined evidence presented by the company. The unanimous verdict of the Jury is that Steorn's attempts to demonstrate the claim have not shown the production of energy. The jury is therefore ceasing work.' Steorn had the choice to either accept this and move on, or attempt to rebut. Guess which approach they took?"

Comments

Re:FP

[hedwards]

Indeed, Especially since Homer Simpson only took a few seconds to make a similar determination.

What? No Mr. Fusion?

[spafbi]

And I bought a DeLorean in preparation just for this... Thanks a lot, Steorn. Bah!

Re:What? No Mr. Fusion?

[DinDaddy]

Well, if they actually work, shouldn't they be in our past and present as well?

Re:What? No Mr. Fusion?

[PhilHibbs]

Well, if they actually work, shouldn't they be in our past and present as well?

Because they haven't been invented yet. As soon as they are invented, then they will be in our past as well. Duh, did you skip Chronodynamics 101, or did you just think "I'll come back and study it when I invent my time machine"?

Re:What? No Mr. Fusion?

[gtall]

Personally, I think scientific laws should be open to voting. There are so many that are downright pesky and inhibit innovation, like the laws of thermodynamics. C'mon, these have been the single greatest impediment to free energy for over 80 years. It is about time we rewrite them and put new ones up for a vote. Even something as time-tested as the law of gravity. It's waaaaayyy past time for that law to die so it wouldn't cost so much to lift our satnavs. Come to think of it, the law of large numbers is a bit of a pest too.

I'm guessing

[geekoid]

they accepted the results gracefully and in the future all their ideas will comply with the laws of physics, just like every other crank out there~

The answer is obvious

[eln]

The solution to their problem is to form a lobbying group to get Congress to reform the Laws of Physics. Those laws have been around for centuries and are clearly woefully outdated. Sure, at first the so-called "Laws" of Thermodynamics were a good idea, but now they're just holding us back.

Re:The answer is obvious

[Anonymous Coward]

Hey, now, one step at a time! The government's got a big crisis to deal with, and the economy needs to be one of its top priorities! They're working on repealing things like the Iron Law of Wages.

Re:The answer is obvious

[Anonymous Coward]

If congress can't even change a THEORY like evolution, how do you expect them to change an actual Law?

(no, I'm not being serious)

I am using free energy right now!

[Anonymous Coward]

I am willing to prove it as well.

But only for the next five minutes.

You will not be allowed to look inside the box, ONLY to measure the energy going in and out. You're not allowed to touch the machine and it must be in a completely dark room. You must pay all expenses for travel and lodging yourself. You must address me as "esteemed scienctist sir" at all times.

A-ha, and there the time is up. I see none of you felt brave enough to try to disprove my claims. I am the winner. I'll be sure to quote this in my journal.

Re:I am using free energy right now!

[Wuhao]

From what it sounds like, this is more like:

I have free energy, and I invite you to come take a look. Oh, you've come to take a look, have you? Wonderful, just have a seat over there while I go work out where I put that damned free energy machine... Hmm... Yes, just be patient now, I'm sure it's probably in one of these cabinets. Or maybe one of the boxes? I've moved recently, and I must admit it might be in my storage shed.

In the meantime, let me tell you how it works. It's really quite simple, based on the principle of mag-- oh, HELLO Mrs. Reynolds! No, I'm not busy. How IS your cousin doing? Oh, fantastic... ...

Sorry about that, gentlemen, Mrs. Reynolds is a lonely widow, and needs all the social contact she can get. I'm so glad you're still here. In any case, down to business. The notion is really quite simple: use magnets and induction to generate unlimited power. Well, yes, there IS quite a bit more to it that that, but it's all quite technical. Oh yes, quite right, you are trained scientists and engineers, and I suppose you would be interested. All the necessary information is in my notes... Now, where did I put those...

You know what, I think my brother has a copy, I'll just drop him a note. He's living as a vagrant in Somalia, trying to explore the human condition. I'll just send him a quick e-mail, and when he makes his way to a city with working telecommunications infrastructure, I'm sure he can tell me where to find them. In the meantime, who's up for some Boggle? It's really a fantastic game. ...Wait, where are you going? Come back! Demonstrating free energy is a difficult task, and while I understand your frustrations with the process, you must be patient! Come baaack!

Pah. The scientific establishment has ONCE AGAIN proven that they are unwilling to consider new ideas. Now, where DID I put that perpetual motion machine...

Re:I am using free energy right now!

[Chris Burke]

Pah. The scientific establishment has ONCE AGAIN proven that they are unwilling to consider new ideas. Now, where DID I put that perpetual motion machine...

*and just after the last scientist leaves the room, closing the door behind them with an angry scoff*

Oh here it is! It was behind the copy machine the whole time along with the free energy machine! Gawd I'm such a dunderhead sometimes!

Guys! Guys! I found it! Oh... they're all gone. Well I guess they just aren't interested in the best thing ever. Their loss!

*tosses the free energy machine into the basket on the perpetual motion machine, and effortlessly flies off into SPAAAAAAAAAAAACE!*

Even cartoon characters wouldn't fall for this

[Locke2005]

"In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!" -- Homer Simpson

Should have stuck with it

[sakdoctor]

Knowing the basics allows you to avoid pseudo-science without effort.
Once you master physics, you see the world for what it really is. Everything turns to green code, and you can tear apart charlatans with a wave of your graphic calculator.

How It Works

[BeardedChimp]

Its quite simple really. They explain it so even a layman with a wad of cash can understand and invest their money:

Orbo is based upon time variant magnetic interactions, i.e. magnetic interactions whose efficiency varies as a function of transaction timeframes.

It is this variation of energy exchanged as a function of transaction time frame that lies at the heart of Orbo technology, and its ability to contravene the principle of the conservation of energy. Why? Conservation of energy requires that the total energy exchanged using interactions are invariant in time. This principle of time invariance is enshrined in Noetherâ(TM)s Theorem.

The time variant nature of Orbo interactions can be engineered using two basic techniques. The first technique utilizes a method of controlling the response time of magnetic materials to make them time variant. This is achieved by controlling the MH position of materials during permanent magnetic interactions.

The second technique decouples the Counter Electromotive Force (CEMF) from torque for electromagnet interactions. This decoupling of CEMF allows time variant magnetic interactions in electromagnetic systems.

I may as well get out my cheque book, I'm convinced.

ObSimpsons

[Amazing Quantum Man]

Lisa, in this house, we obey the Laws of Thermodynamics!

Re:Don't bash the jury.

[Minwee]

My dick tastes like taffy. Go on, test it, or else I shall dub thee "Not a scientist."

Well, if you say so. I'll get a sharp knife and start preparing some samples for the double blind trial.

Or was this kind of experiment more what you had in mind?

Re:I failed physics and even I know this is junk.

[spun]

I see what you are saying, "Just as we used to believe that the sun revolved around the earth, we used to believe that free energy was possible. Now we know better. People used to believe all kinds of ridiculous, untrue things. Let's not make that mistake here. " Gotcha! Thanks for that heads up.