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Railway Workers Get Daily Smile Scans
More than 500 workers at Japan's, Keihin Electric Express Railway, must have their faces scanned each morning to determine their optimum smile. The "smile scan" analyzes a smile based on facial characteristics, from lip curves and eye movements to wrinkles. After the program scans you, it produces a smile rating that ranges from zero to 100 depending on the estimated potential of your biggest smile. If your number is sufficient, you can go about your day grinning like a maniac. If your smile number is too low the computer will give you a message such as, "lift up your mouth corners" or "you still look too serious." Every morning employees receive a printout of their daily smile which they are expected to keep with them throughout the day.
Those employees about to be terminated receive the following critique:
"WHY SO SERIOUS?"
And be sure to wear some flair. That would be great.
The overcrowding, intense pressure to conform, the legacy of the 90's real estate bust, and now this? Well, at least they have a lot of robots.
SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
Sing along everybody...
"Happy happy. Joy joy!"
"Happy happy. Joy joy!"
"I don't think you're happy enough"
"I'll teach you to be happy. I'll teach your grandma to suck eggs!"
"and the little critters of nature. They don't know that they're ugly."
"I TOLD YOU I'D SHOOT, BUT YOU DIDN'T BELIEVE ME!!! WHYYYYY WOULDN'T YOU BELIEVE ME!!!???"
"Happy happy. Joy joy!"
"Happy happy. Joy joy!"
Looks like someone has a case of the Mondays
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine -- Robert C. Gallagher
Beatings will continue until morale improves!
- The Management
ps Have a nice day!
(Seriously, have a nice day, you little piss-ants, OR ELSE.)
Fuck. Right. Off.
I can be polite and professional without smiling.
There's something contradictory about these statements... but I can't quite put my finger on it.
Happiness is mandatory citizen! Smile, and move along.
Thought bubble over Yoshi's head:
"It is so easy to smile like this when I think about pulling out Boss-san's intestines with rusty fish knife and feeding them to my dog in front of his dying eyes. His time to visit honourable ancestors comes faster than he thinks.
I've calculated my velocity with such exquisite precision that I have no idea where I am.
Over here if you smile all day at work they test you for pot.
Quidnam Latine loqui modo coepi?
This especially bugs me because I'm not a smilier and I like being bitter, damnit!
You should get a job over here in germany. You'd be perfect for german customer-service. Learn to utter something that might sound like german, and you're perfect employee for the national railway service.
bickerdyke