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Chinese "Web Addicts" Get Boot Camp, Therapy
itwbennett writes "A large number of Chinese parents are finding their teenagers to be exhibiting such psychological symptoms as depression, antisocial behavior, and slipping grades. The cause: Internet addiction. World of Warcraft and Counter-Strike rank beside Chinese role-playing games as those that hook the most patients, says Tao Ran, the founder of a youth rehabilitation center on a Beijing army base. Online chat programs more often hook girls, who make up a handful of Tao's current 70 patients. The teens are subjected to a 'strict regimen of military drills, martial arts training, lectures and sessions with psychiatrists.' And, most importantly: no Internet."
Also a great way of recruiting for their already massive army...
http://www.zombieapocalypse.tv/
I know, right? I mean, when I'm online on chat sites, it's amazing that all the people who are on all day are girls. Take last Sunday, for example. 4 AM... a bunch of girls are online, and some guys. 10 AM... the same girls but a bunch of different guys. 4 PM... still the same girls, and new guys. 8 PM... same deal.
I mean seriously, the only people who are addicted to chat and are on all day are girls.
[pause for gender identification]
Well, and one guy. At least.
"Trolls they were, but filled with the evil will of their master: a fell race..." -- J.R.R. Tolkien on Olog-hai
American - kill all your allies in 'friendly' fire incidents. Full auto on anything that moves, may move or have previously moved. Aw Hell full auto on anything.
Chinese (according to the Geneva Convention on war ) Day 1 - One million unarmed troops invade Alaska and surrender.
Day 2 - One million unarmed troops invade Alaska and surrender.
Day 3 - One million unarmed troops invade Alaska and surrender.
.
.
Day 5 - US economy collapses US surrenders.
Oh, don't worry, they're catching up.
That's the great thing about exporting American culture... eventually, the rest of the world will be as fat and lazy as we are.
It's obvious where this is going. Just read all the articles about the billions we're spending on the development of remote control flying killing machines. Our enemies will be too fat too run away, but our technology will allow us to fight even as we need to clean ourselves with a rag-on-a-stick.
World domination is at hand!
MWUA-HA-HA-HORK-acktph-[gasp]-[grunt]-HORK-[splat]-HA-HA-HA
"Trolls they were, but filled with the evil will of their master: a fell race..." -- J.R.R. Tolkien on Olog-hai
.. exposure to girls.
Here goes his business model:
1, Preach on media the harm of "Internet Addiction" on children.
2, Tell irresponsible parents that it's not their fault (which actually is).
3, Open an "Internet Addition" rehab.
4, Charge rediculous fees.
5, Abuse his patients untill they promise (or pretend to promise) they will never play World of Warcraft (or whatever their parents deem as harmful) again.
6, Parents get pleased and more parents send their kids to his rehab.
7, PROFIT!
After all, I must say he's slightly better than the ultimate asshole named Yang Yongxin. At least he doesn't employ high voltage shock therapy in his rehab.
I mean, I am all for fighting obesity in all ways possible, but it just doesn't seem right to beat children or otherwise abuse them simply because they are overweight.
If this works in China, it will be the next Obama Youth program...
Similar to the upcoming US election results
Of course, having gone through boot camp, you'll never know for sure if that's really what you think, or if that's what they told you to think ;)
Having gone through Boot Camp myself (Not in China mind you) I highly recommend it as a means of turning useless people into productive citizens.
Productive you say? I can't help noticing you're posting to /. ...
Boot Camp? But.. are Web Addicts only Mac Users?
Don't you know that FBI agents have shifts?
...re-education camps.
THL phish sticks
Let's see ... the symptoms are depression, antisocial behavior, and slipping grades. Except perhaps for the last one, that sounds like any teenager I've ever met.
I mean, I am all for fighting obesity in all ways possible, but it just doesn't seem right to beat children or otherwise abuse them simply because they are overweight.
Not to mention it isn't very fair. It's not like they can run from you. Or if they can, it's not like they can run far.
The thing I'd like to know is. How much does it cost to send my own kids to China for a bootcamp? Do they need to know Chinese? I don't have any kids yet, nor a girlfriend yet. I'm just pre-planning.
Cause the girls will be getting exposed to WoW players. Even Dick Cheney would be reluctant to use that kind of torture.