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Analyst, 15, Creates Storm After Trashing Twitter
Barence writes "A 15-year-old schoolboy has become an overnight sensation after writing a report on teenagers' media habits for analysts Morgan Stanley. Intern Matthew Robson was asked to write a report about his friends' use of technology during his work experience stint with the firm's media analysts. The report was so good the firm decided to publish it, and it generated 'five or six' times more interest than Morgan Stanley's regular reports. The schoolboy poured scorn on Twitter, claiming that teenagers 'realize that no one is viewing their profile, so their tweets are pointless.' He also claimed games consoles are replacing mobile phones as the way to chat with friends."
Texting is hard! http://gizmodo.com/5312623/teenager-falls-into-open-manhole-while-texting
I highly doubt he's actually got anything revolutionary to say.
Just wait. Any day now we will see the armies of teenagers emerge carrying around their PS3's and Xboxes instant messaging each other while their cell phones rest idly in their pockets, ringing on deaf ears like so many unread tweets...
Help fight poverty: Punch a poor person.
And I thought me being 15 and reading /. was geeky.
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has it's limits" - Albert Einstein
Once I read this report I tossed out my iphone and blackberry. I now walk around with the convenience of a xbox 360 and Playstation 3 strapped on each side of my hip. I also attach an atari 2600 to my chest for legacy situations.
Me: 1 Technology: 0
Be you Admins? nay, we are but lusers!
Indeed, Morgan Stanley should write a report on their own inadequacy in writing proper reports. I sense a recursion coming up here.
Personally, "texting" as a means of talking to friends never actually replaced, well, "talking to friends" as a method for talking to friends.
I'm also seeing a lot of angry flames about this kids analysis. Perhaps you should all go Tweet about that.
Was this you? "To the guy at the other urinal (Restroom at work)"
http://austin.craigslist.org/com/1265944275.html
Either that or he has kids.
May the Maths Be with you!
In other news, the Pope tweets that he's thinking of becoming a catholic, and bear posts "took a sh*t in the woods" as facebook status.
Ooh, ooh!
35 year old men don't play golf. I mean, I'm 35 and I know a few 35 year olds, and none of us play golf.
Shower gratitude on me for my unique insight. Better sell all your shares in the golf industry.
From the article: Morgan Stanley points out that Robson's assessment of the media landscape doesn't have the statistical rigour of its regular reports.
The next regular report will, no doubt, assert with full statistical rigour that "Twitter is for twits". It's been manifestly evident to many of us since its very inception.
People don't "tweet", they mostly be-twit themselves - sometimes quite impressively in only 140 characters. Others merely follow the twaddle produced by their twit-idols (a motley collection of vacuous celebrities, sports stars, self-serving shills, and the like). Still, pumping the hype on the way up was good for fleecing investors. Presumably Morgan Stanley can now fleece them again on the way down.
Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. - Voltaire
dear /.
I feel that it is important to report market information that I have assembled.
Based on a survey of the people I'm living with, Ubuntu has a 25% market share of the laptop market.
None of my friends own an iPhone, so I assure you that it is a dead market space, MMOs fall into the same category.
On average, there is only one care for six people with driver's licenses.
Wii has 100% of the market share.
All teenage girls love anime and The Lion King.
In terms of popularity, 4 out of 5 of my roommates wanted a joint memorial for Billy Mays and Michael Jackson.
Everyone I know hates MySpace. I mean everyone. Its a really stupid facebook. The only people who use it are retarded. Surveys report that people are more willing to twitter than use MySpace, which is quite shocking considering previous reports.
All of these reports are held to the highest standards of statistical accuracy and truthfulness. It has the statistical rigour usual to all of my reports.
VOIP, IM, S&M, B&D, I don't care! In my day twitter was hosted on the wall of the bathroom stall, not some magical cloud-box! Get off my lawn, whippersnapper!
Help fight poverty: Punch a poor person.
1 nude MMS of the 15 year-old chick who sits next to you in class is more than worth 140 characters of anal-retentive self-promoting status alerts.
twttr suxz0rz l0lz
cu l8tr
...and now in other news, a 38 year old housewife in Hoboken, NJ, reveals that no one reads Morgan Stanley reports, despite all the trees they cut down to publish them.
I'm a satanic clam.
In MY days, the bathroom WAS the lawn!
In my day twitter was hosted on the wall of the bathroom stall...
/me imagines:
Here I tweet from my bathroom blog, not digital but analog.
I only post comments when someone on the internet is wrong.
At least if their XBoxes and PS3's keep them inside, they'll stay off my lawn.
My sci-fi novel, Ghost Thief, is now available from Amazon.com.
Good plan for keeping the kids off of it!