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Huge Unidentified Organic Blob Floating Around Alaska
Z80xxc! writes "The Anchorage Daily News reports that a 15 mile-long blob of unknown, 'gooey,' probably organic material is floating past communities on Alaska's North Slope. The US Coast Guard sent pollution experts to investigate, who determined that it was not an oil spill or other type of pollution, but were unable to determine what it is. A sample is currently being analyzed by experts in Anchorage, while the blob is following the current northwards."
It's probably a shoggoth.
Someone tell Sarah Palin to go for a swim!
Someone let rosie o'donnell into the ocean?
I know there's a Sarah Palin joke here somewhere. Anyone want to make an attempt?
it was probably caused by global warming though.
It's that thing that killed Tasha Yar!
I took this job on a crab boat, I was on there for like 2 months, there wasn't any internet, I forgot to pack any Playboys, I finally found an old SI Swimsuit issue in the galley....I didn't know there would much!
- Randy Marsh
Quick, someone give it a jellybean!
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Alaska's fucked.
Lemmings are silly; dinosaurs are extinct.
...."ALIENS!"
Al-Gore warned you all that global warming would awaken man-bear-smogmonster, and now his dire warning has come to pass! Take shelter people of Earth, only Godzilla can save us now (assuming the Japanese don't kill the giant lizard who always saves them, God(zilla) knows why the hell they always try to kill the lizard who always saves their ass.)
"Sorrow is better than laughter, for by sadness of face the heart is made glad." [Ecclesiastes 7:3]
Why am I suddenly reminded of Caddyshack?
So you see there is a big, slimy thing floating in the water and you don't like it.. What do you do?
a, Take probes, issue some press reports and analyse it while letting in float around.
b, No nothing, let someone else deal with it.
c, Clean up the god damn ugly slime before it starts to eat Alaska, and analyse it later.
d, Make a documentary on how the big unidentified slimy thing ate Alaska and make profit with it.
I can see it from my back porch!
Could this be the scandal that led Palin to retire?
Well I'm sure Gabe Newell appreciates the sentiment, but what about the crap floating off Alaska?
You know the conservative attention whore is going to try to capitalize on this somehow,... like trying to connect this blob with the second coming of Christ, or the rapture, or something? Or, she'll go for the Ghostbusters explanation, saying that the blob contains all the evil left wing energy from California that's been seeping into the Ocean over the past 50 years from all the liberals and fags. She'll then hire the FagBusters from Kansas, led by Rev. Fred Phelps, arm them with unlicensed nuclear accelerators, to come up with a solution. Naturally, our only defense against this will be some dickless guy from the EPA,... ;-)
There's a reason they are called Sperm Whales..........I'm just saying.
We're done here.
A bullet may have your name on it but splash damage is addressed "To whom it may concern."
She knew she couldn't do what had to be done as the Governor so she resigned in order to put together a rag tag group of misfits with the skills necessary to save the world.
One Family, One helicopter, One Mission.
Coming this summer! The Palins Hunt in...
Die Nature Die!
Insert pithy comment here.
She was advised to create a Blog, but heard blob
The power vacuum left by Palin is attracting all kinds of scum.
Is this true?
Promote proofreading. Don't mod up sloppy posts.
I knew I shouldn't have had those beans.
Beware of the blob, it creeps
And leaps and glides and slides
Across the floor
Right through the door
And all around the wall
A splotch, a blotch
Be careful of the blob
-The Five Blobs
Huh? It's slimy, greasy and absolutely disgusting, so far so good, but it's neither a senator nor a lobbyist, so why bother?
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
Yes it's true. The EPA guy man has no dick.
"If we knew what we were doing, it wouldn't be called research." - Einstein
Yes it's true. This man has no dick.
Right President Obama will offer to meet with the blob in an atmosphere of mutual respect.
Okay now that we have done both sides of the stupid poltical comments we can move one.
See my blog http://ilovecookes.blogspot.com/ for light hearted technical information.
Is it certified?
I took a big dump overboard this morning. Sorry about that.
No sig today...
*runs up, panting*
Guys, check it out, I got a great topical Ron Paul joke!
What, we're done with the political jokes? Aw man, late to the party again...
The enemies of Democracy are
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Thank you for improving the quality of our public discourse with your very splendid and worthwhile comment.
Just as an experiment, why don't we throw a few Congress-people on it and see what happens. Worst that can happen? They come out just fine.
Truth, Justice. Or the American Way.
It's her daughters placenta.
"I hope you know how very lucky you are to know me, because I am so incredibly incredible."
Nobody knows for sure what the gunk is, but Petty Officer 1st Class Terry Hasenauer says the Coast Guard is sure what it is not.
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it!
Gods, no -- what if it makes them GROW??!!!
~REZ~ #43301. Who'd fake being me anyway?
Or they might get mutant super-powers. The we would be in trouble.
"Well, You could believe Mr. Pecker..."
"...the name is PECK"
"Or you could accept the fact that Alaska is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions."
"I hope you know how very lucky you are to know me, because I am so incredibly incredible."
Could be a banker. Has this theory been tested? Throw some taxpayer money at it. If it keeps it without lending it, whines about pay raise restrictions, then asks for more, we have our answer.
Please do not read this sig. Thank you.
They sure are cute when they're little.
Have gnu, will travel.
...Someone in the Republican party threw water on her, she melted, and that's what's left...
is a container ship captain trying to figure out what happened to those five containers full of Jello mix he was supposed to deliver.