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FOIA Documents Detail iPods Overheating, Catching Fire
suraj.sun passes along a report from a Seattle TV station that has been investigating reports of Apple iPods overheating and bursting into flames. "An exclusive KIRO 7 Investigation reveals an alarming number of Apple brand iPod MP3 players have suddenly burst into flames and smoke, injuring people and damaging property. It's an investigation that Apple has apparently been trying to keep out of the public eye. It took more than 7 months for KIRO 7 Consumer Investigator Amy Clancy to get her hands on documents concerning Apple's iPods from the Consumer Product Safety Commission because Apple's lawyers filed exemption after exemption. In the end, the CPSC released more than 800 pages which reveal, for the very first time, a comprehensive look that shows, on a number of occasions, iPods have suddenly burst into flames, started to smoke, and even burned their owners. ... Apple refused to comment, and refused to answer all of the other questions [the reporter] has been asking of the company since November."
That's ridiculous. Apple implemented the CMD IDE chip properly. The truth of the matter is that the chip, and the implementation instructions, were changed after the iPod went into production.
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Multiple sources confirm that the source of the chip and instruction change was no other then Googol the Destroyer, in an effort to stop Joba and Gatus from preventing him from wreaking the End of Days upon the world via the Rite of a Thousand Targeted Ads.
When last we saw our heroes, Gatus and Joba strove to recruit all the world's developers to write the One True OS with Global Search in order to stop Googol; the druid Stallmanx had failed in his efforts to trick Googol into signing away his powers (via a contract written by his attendant Beard Gnomes). Googol was busy devouring data with gobsmacking satisfaction, and weaving his Dark Fibers into the Evil Woven Tapestry of Universe Description, while his evil underlords continue to build the database of all possible ways the world can be saved and developing counterstrategies for them.
Unfortunately for our heroes, it appears that their actions have not gone unnoticed by Googol the Destroyer. Apparantly Joba's subversion of the fashion-conscious developers has gotten under Googol the Destroyer's skin... for now he has provided chipmakers with incendiary devices to be implanted in iPods and Zunes, and threats of zero pagerank if they do not follow his directives.
Both Zunes that have been sold have since blown up, while approximately 15 iPods have blown up in the test phase of "Operation iPlosion". This apparently was less than Googol anticipated, due to the protection of the Reality Distortion Field of iPod users with sufficient devotion to He of the Black Turtleneck
Meanwhile, in Stallmanx's laboratory, his Beard Gnomes have nearly finished the contracts and licenses that may yet save the world from the predations of Googol. Just what lies within those documents?
How will Gatus and Joba recruit the rest of the world's developers? What cunning plan will Googol the Destroyer think of next? Will he overcome the effects of the Reality Distortion Field? Will our heroes be thwarted?
Tune in to next week's episode of Googol the Destroyer to find out!
"Trolls they were, but filled with the evil will of their master: a fell race..." -- J.R.R. Tolkien on Olog-hai
There are a number of trailer park kids out there that seem capable of choking on anything. And, sadly enough, I think there are a number of trailer park parents willing to kill their kid for a shot at a "big money" lawsuit (so they can get a settlement check that they'll use to buy a new meth lab, lottery tickets, and NASCAR memorabilia).
SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
Shame there is no -1 stupiditiy mod.
Why bother