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Navigating a Geek Marriage?
JoeLinux writes "I am soon to marry my true love (a girl! yes! they do exist!). She is a literary geek, whereas I am a gaming/Linux geek. Being the RTFM-style geeks that we are, we have been reading up on marriage, making things work, etc. Unfortunately, all of the references seem to be based around an alpha-male jock and a submissive cheerleader-style wife. A lot of the references to incompatibility in the books don't apply to us (neglect due to interest in sports, etc.). What are some of the pitfalls and successes learned in the course of a more geek-oriented marriage?"
...but get married, and then get back to us in five years.
The bottom line is that if you haven't ever lived with her for a minimum of probably three weeks, you have no idea what she is really like, and she wouldn't know that about you, either. The difference between the two of you on that score though is that if she finds out you're not what she expected, she will then start trying to change you.
As far as I'm concerned, monogamy is strictly for people who do not value personal freedom, and who also don't really plan to do anything genuinely worthwhile with their lives. I came to the conclusion a long time ago that where sex is concerned, for men at least, there are only really two viable options; polygamy, or celibacy. So far, I have chosen the latter.
Realise also that as a male in particular, marriage basically boils down to a very simple transaction. You are going to trade personal freedom, (in every respect, not only sexual) and the right to direct your own personal development, for a certain amount of emotional, physical, and sexual gratification. You will also most likely end up trading most of your money for this, as well. The only way monogamy works is if one partner in the relationship voluntarily allows themselves to be subjugated, and don't let yourself be fooled; in most cases, in reality, it's the man. Anyone who tries to tell you that monogamy based on genuine equality can or does exist is lying both to you, and to themselves.
It's up to you, but I'd be smart and avoid it. Monogamy, as I've said, is strictly for the birds. People don't get married to have someone to live with; they get married to make sure they have someone to die with.
No offense dude, but you're a sexist pighead.
Men and women are completely perfectly equal ... as long as they stay in their place, dammit. Is that what you're trying to say? Well fuck you and the horse you rode in on then.
Allow me to let you in on a secret here: most men go mushy over the new baby too, they just don't have the balls to admit it because people like you have stigmatized that sort of behaviour. And the idea that men are better leaders is absolute bullshit. In a lot of ways, I think that women are better leaders and decision makers simply because they weren't raised from childhood with the idea that they've got to have the biggest dick around.
Your second to last paragraph about unconditional love is pretty good though, so I'll retract the fuck you. The sexist pighead insult still stands.