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Scientists Create Artificial Bones From Wood

Posted by ScuttleMonkey on from the sticks-and-bones dept.

steve_thatguy writes "According to Discovery News, Italian scientists have made artificial bone from wood. Created by blasting wood blocks with heat until they are nearly pure carbon then coating them with calcium, the scientists say the material allows bones to heal faster and more securely. Unlike titanium, the wood-based artificial bones flex slightly much like real bone, and the porous nature of the wood allows for better bio-activity with surrounding tissue. Though human testing is still likely years away, the material is currently being used successfully in sheep and may have other industrial applications."

34 of 138 comments (clear)

  1. Bones out of wood? by oahazmatt · · Score: 4, Funny

    Well that's not good. Now if they bleed they're going to attract ants.

    --
    Those who believe the Internet is private,
    find their privates are on the Internet.
    1. Re:Bones out of wood? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      that would be like me saying your brain is made of retard, when in fact, retard is just the end result

    2. Re:Bones out of wood? by K.+S.+Kyosuke · · Score: 4, Funny

      And Christian fundamentalists. If you get enough of these bone replacements, they might start calling you a witch.

      --
      Ezekiel 23:20
    3. Re:Bones out of wood? by rs79 · · Score: 2, Funny

      Got bone? No, just a woody.

      --
      Need Mercedes parts ?
    4. Re:Bones out of wood? by fractoid · · Score: 2, Funny

      I'm guessing the post was a witch. Witches are flamebait, right?

      On the gripping hand, with charcoal bones you could, in emergencies, breath through your left tibia to filter out toxic gases.

      --
      Rampant carbon sequestration destroyed the Dinosaurs' tropical paradise. I'm here to help repair the damage.
  2. those poor chickens with boneless breasts by goffster · · Score: 5, Funny

    They now have hope

    1. Re:those poor chickens with boneless breasts by pavon · · Score: 3, Funny

      I did my own experiment this weekend involving boneless chicken breasts sprinkled with calcium chloride, and placed over wood that had been previously heated in a vacuum till nearly carbon.

      The scientific results were tasty.

    2. Re:those poor chickens with boneless breasts by swanzilla · · Score: 5, Funny

      how humerus

      --
      0 = 1 + e^(Alt something)
    3. Re:those poor chickens with boneless breasts by bughunter · · Score: 3, Funny

      I did the same, but I used sodium chloride, and included some wood chips soaked in dihydrogen monoxide. Somewhat tastier, despite the use of the Earth's most deadly chemical.

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      I can see the fnords!
    4. Re:those poor chickens with boneless breasts by bughunter · · Score: 5, Funny

      We chemistry nerds tend to party among ourselves. And we know all the best chemicals.

      So yes, our parties are quite entertaining.

      Plus, we like to blow shit up.

      /hold my ethyl alcohol solution and watch this

      --
      I can see the fnords!
    5. Re:those poor chickens with boneless breasts by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Don't you know Dihydrogen Monoxide is listed as a greenhouse gas?

      Do you realize that you have added to global warming!

      The sky is falling!

      The sky is falling!

  3. Sheep with wooden legs? by mr_flea · · Score: 4, Funny

    So... if they're giving sheep wooden legs... does that mean they're creating pirate sheep? Are they also giving them eye patches and pet parrots?

    1. Re:Sheep with wooden legs? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      And here we have a very strange internet rule 34 confirmation.

    2. Re:Sheep with wooden legs? by sentientbeing · · Score: 3, Funny

      Theyre enhancing sheep with charcoal bones to create legs of lamb that can BBQ themselves

      --

      ------
      beware he who would deny you access to information, for in his mind he dreams himself your master
  4. mmmmhm by nnnich · · Score: 4, Funny

    let washington's dentist be chastised no more!

    --
    she was the daughter of a wealthy florentine pogen read em and weep was her adjustable slogan
  5. Prior art by srussia · · Score: 4, Funny

    I'll be claiming me mateys...arr!

    --
    Set your phasers on "funky"!
  6. Leave it to the Italians... by bughunter · · Score: 2, Funny

    ... to invent something that turns orthopedic surgeons into woody boners.

    (Yes. I went there.)

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    I can see the fnords!
    1. Re:Leave it to the Italians... by snspdaarf · · Score: 3, Funny

      AND mix in sheep. Urk.

      --
      Why, without your clothes, you're naked, Miss Dudley!
    2. Re:Leave it to the Italians... by tepples · · Score: 2, Funny

      Hell, most of their surgical instruments look like something out of a carpenters shop

      Only if the surgeon's name happens to be Dr. Geppetto Baccigaluppo.

  7. Artificial bones in sheep? by Sta7ic · · Score: 4, Funny

    That's what I call some baaaahhhd medicine.

  8. Wow by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Now the goverment is going to create the worst mutant ever: Weapon W.

  9. Been Doing This For Years by basementman · · Score: 2, Funny

    I've been making bones from wood since puberty, these scientists obviously never took health class in middle school.

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    A Magic the Gathering Article and Forum Aggregator
    1. Re:Been Doing This For Years by ArsonSmith · · Score: 4, Funny

      And putting it in sheep too right?

      --
      Paying taxes to buy civilization is like paying a hooker to buy love.
  10. Wooden bone, punchline. by HornWumpus · · Score: 4, Funny

    Pinocchio: 'Who needs a girlfriend now that I have sandpaper.'

    --
    John McAfee 'It was like that time I hired that Bangkok prostitute; to do my taxes, while I fucked my accountant'
  11. Mutant zombie sheep... by Frosty+Piss · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...the material is currently being used successfully in sheep and may have other industrial applications/b>

    Mutant zombie sheep used as forced labor in factories?

    --
    If you want news from today, you have to come back tomorrow.
  12. Move Over Lee Majors by bradorsomething · · Score: 5, Funny

    Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We can make him stronger... faster... using the latest in prefabrication materials from Home Depot. He is... the Sixty-Five Dollar Man.

    1. Re:Move Over Lee Majors by Jason+Levine · · Score: 2, Funny

      That's too expensive. We can rebuild him using Walmart for just $42 and change.

      --
      My sci-fi novel, Ghost Thief, is now available from Amazon.com.
  13. Steven Wright was right by HTH+NE1 · · Score: 4, Funny

    "I saw a man with a wooden leg, and a real foot." -- Steven Wright

    --
    Oh, say does that Star-Spangled Banner entwine / The myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's vine?
  14. Very old news... by ak_hepcat · · Score: 4, Funny

    Pirates have been replacing damaged or missing limbs with replacements made of wood for years!

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  15. Perry Bible Fellowship Comic by plisskin · · Score: 3, Funny
    Yarrr!

    http://pbfcomics.com/?cid=PBF165-Yarteries.jpg

  16. It's all fun and games... by kuzb · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...until your first termite infestation :(

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    BeauHD. Worst editor since kdawson.
  17. sheep and "other" industrial applications? by Trepidity · · Score: 2, Funny

    Ah, the sheep, a stellar piece of industrial machinery.

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    10 PRINT CHR$(205.5+RND(1)); : GOTO 10
  18. Re:SheepShit!! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    Sheep die at the slightest insult to their systems. A runny nose is a death sentence. I find it unbelievable that sheep are recuperating on their own with the assistance of some charcoal and calcium

    Mint jelly and a roasting pan tend to be fatal as well.

  19. Yarrr!!! by Quixadhal · · Score: 2, Funny

    Yarrrr... me peg leg'll be worth a few bottles o rum afterall!