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Man Claims to be In the CIA to Get Out Of Speeding Ticket

Posted by samzenpus on from the the-first-rule-of-the-CIA-is-you-don't-talk-about-the-CIA dept.

56-year-old Scott Gibson, was unable to convince the police of Mount Carmel, Tenn. that he was in fact, special agent lead foot, deputy chief of the CIA. After receiving a speeding ticket, Gibson sent back a copy of the citation with a handwritten note, claiming he wasn't subject to local speed zones because he was the deputy chief of the CIA. The cops contacted the CIA, which confirmed that he wasn't and never had worked for the agency. The police thought the joke was so funny, they arrested him and charged him with criminal impersonation.

24 comments

  1. Wrong agency; should have claimed NSA by dcavanaugh · · Score: 3, Interesting

    At that point, who would the cops call?

    1. Re:Wrong agency; should have claimed NSA by d12v10 · · Score: 1

      They'd call a local CSS office, get transferred, and talk to the section chief.

    2. Re:Wrong agency; should have claimed NSA by dynchaw · · Score: 1

      Any of the contact addresses here:

      http://www.nsa.gov/public_info/contacts/index.shtml

    3. Re:Wrong agency; should have claimed NSA by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Considering that NSA is the same bunch who worked with AT&T to conduct warrantless wiretaps, how much does anyone believe them when they deny the existence of an alleged employee? My guess is there are more than a few employees who they would not be discussing, even with police.

      The NSA employee handbook says that any classified position can be referred to as a "research analyst" when dealing with the unclassified world. Perhaps there are a few jobs too sensitive to be handled that way.

      I think the the spook ploy requires more risk at the time the ticket is being written. Before handing the officer a driver's license, I wonder what would happen if an adventurous person tried something like this:

      "I'm on an assignment for a government agency that is not anxious to answer questions. The mission is classified. For security reasons, I can't have my license number associated with this geographic location. Believe it or not, my officially-issued fake driver's license is at home and all I have is my real one. Can you give me a phone number for headquarters to call your supervisor and get this taken care of? It would be easier for me to take the ticket and pay it, but I am required to keep a low profile. The punishment in my case is more red tape than you ever dreamed of; far worse than the ticket. Sorry I screwed up."

      The bluff collapses quickly and badly if the officer doesn't give in. I think it depends on how much time the cop wants to invest and how comfortable he feels with totally non-standard procedures.

      NSA and CIA notwithstanding, the golden passport to ticket exemption is the military ID. I've seen it used many times. According to rumors, this works better for enlisted personnel than for officers. I know a guy who was a sergeant in the army. He was often pulled over, but NEVER ticketed.

    4. Re:Wrong agency; should have claimed NSA by KC7JHO · · Score: 2

      Considering that NSA is the same bunch who worked with AT/&T to conduct warrantless wiretaps, ...

      They could just pick up the phone and start talking?

    5. Re:Wrong agency; should have claimed NSA by Runaway1956 · · Score: 1

      "the golden passport to ticket exemption is the military ID. I've seen it used many times. According to rumors, this works better for enlisted personnel than for officers. I know a guy who was a sergeant in the army. He was often pulled over, but NEVER ticketed."

      I call bullshit. If, in fact, you knew such a sergeant, then he was an extremely good bullshitter. A military ID often times makes you a target for a cop's ire, depending on location. Most times, you're better off handing over your license, keeping you military ID in your wallet, and hoping that the cop didn't notice your base parking sticker.

      --
      "Windows is like the faint smell of piss in a subway: it's there, and there's nothing you can do about it." - Charlie Br
    6. Re:Wrong agency; should have claimed NSA by martinX · · Score: 1

      the golden passport to ticket exemption is the military ID. I've seen it used many times. According to rumors, this works better for enlisted personnel than for officers. I know a guy who was a sergeant in the army. He was often pulled over, but NEVER ticketed.

      Nah, membership of a masonic lodge. My in-laws are all masons in a large-ish Queensland country town, and the discreet square-and-compass (I call it "hammer and sickle" to bug them...) stickers on the cars have helped get them out of speeding fines and parking tickets. Not always, but enough to let you know that's the way things are.

      --
      When they came for the communists, I said "He's next door. Take him away. Goddam commies."
    7. Re:Wrong agency; should have claimed NSA by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      A military ID often times makes you a target for a cop's ire, depending on location. Most times, you're better off handing over your license, keeping you military ID in your wallet, and hoping that the cop didn't notice your base parking sticker.

      As a veteran myself, you're absolutely right. It's based entirely on location: if you're more than 50 miles from an active duty base, flash those creds with pride. If you're within 50 miles, that officer has broken up at least one bar fight between fellow service members last weekend. In that case, shut your mouth and be polite.

    8. Re:Wrong agency; should have claimed NSA by MichaelSmith · · Score: 1

      the golden passport to ticket exemption is the military ID. I've seen it used many times. According to rumors, this works better for enlisted personnel than for officers. I know a guy who was a sergeant in the army. He was often pulled over, but NEVER ticketed.

      Nah, membership of a masonic lodge. My in-laws are all masons in a large-ish Queensland country town, and the discreet square-and-compass (I call it "hammer and sickle" to bug them...) stickers on the cars have helped get them out of speeding fines and parking tickets. Not always, but enough to let you know that's the way things are.

      So whats the real emergency number, 001?

      --
      http://michaelsmith.id.au
    9. Re:Wrong agency; should have claimed NSA by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      So whats the real emergency number, 001?

      No, if there is a REAL emergency, you need to call 007

    10. Re:Wrong agency; should have claimed NSA by SeeSp0tRun · · Score: 1

      I wish I could mod you up. +Funny.

      --
      Something witty.
  2. Nice try, cupcake... by tnk1 · · Score: 1

    If he was a classified operator/analyst, he wouldn't be admitting that in order to get out of a speeding ticket, he would shut up, smile at the cop, call someone at the office and have them make a discreet call to someone who would make sure the ticket disappeared. Any cop with half a brain would probably realize that.

    In any event, he would need to at least flash his creds or give the cop a card for follow-up later on. If he "forgot" his identification, that's his problem, not the cop's.

    As for being a Deputy Director, those sorts don't go on field trips, they're high level Senate-approved bureaucrats. There's nothing classified about them. If you pull them over, they're probably either on the way home or on the way to or from the golf course.

    No matter what their position, this person would need to have some sort of legal reason why they were exceeding the limit in performance of their duties, like target surveillance. You don't just get out of tickets by working for Homeland Security.

    1. Re:Nice try, cupcake... by morgan_greywolf · · Score: 1

      Not only that, but if he were a classified operator/analyst, the CIA would do what they did to "prove" he didn't work for the CIA! They would disavow all knowledge of him. So the guy is stupid for claiming to be a CIA spook, and the cops are stupid for thinking that the CIA would acknowledge a spook worked for them.

      The CIA's basic rule of thumb when it comes to violating laws is this: don't get caught, because if you do, we're likely to disavow all knowledge.

      Of course, he claimed to be a "deputy chief" (which the CIA has only the title of Deputy Director, there is no term "chief" or "deputy chief.") . So even if he were a "Deputy Director," those guys are just bureaucrats anyway. They don't go out in the field.

      --
      My blog
  3. I can see why. by stonefoz · · Score: 1

    Claiming to be in the CIA, who as seen a CIA badge? It's the most generic, none-descriptive, fake looking badge of any part of government, I've ever seen. The guy sweeping the floor has a fancier badge embroidered on his shirt, right next to his name badge. It's only be funnier if he was actually a fired agent.

    --
    I think I just cashed out all my cool points.
  4. Wait . . . by Cyberllama · · Score: 1

    I thought the CIA's policy was to netiher confirm nor deny. In light of this policy shift, in the future a failure to deny will be seen as a confirmation! Now all our enemies have to do is call up the CIA, claim to be local police, say they have a person who claims to be a CIA agent and wants out of a speeding ticket, and when they find someone the CIA does not deny, they'll know they've found a covert agent!

    1. Re:Wait . . . by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Yeah... if the CIA was really really stupid, perhaps it'd work.

      Otherwise they'd just call the police station themselves... Now all "your enemies" have to do is sit at a desk at the police station to make the phone call...

    2. Re:Wait . . . by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      We can neither confirm or deny that this would work.

    3. Re:Wait . . . by v1 · · Score: 1

      caller id, if that's what you're getting at, is child's play to spoof. There are even 900 numbers you can call that will automate the process for you. I've seen people receive prank phonecalls from the white house, it's one of the most commonly spoofed numbers.

      --
      I work for the Department of Redundancy Department.
    4. Re:Wait . . . by Shimbo · · Score: 1

      I thought the CIA's policy was to netiher confirm nor deny.

      Well then, call the Vice President's Office instead.

  5. Or better yet, a cop-lover. by EWAdams · · Score: 3, Interesting

    My dad has nothing to do with the cops, but has donated to the Fraternal Order of Police for years. He has their stickers all over the back of his car and their (auxiliary) membership card in his wallet next to his driver's licence. He might get a talking to, but he doesn't get tickets.

    --
    I piss off bigots.
    1. Re:Or better yet, a cop-lover. by ancient_kings · · Score: 1

      Now that's a crime the FBI should look into. Cop-lover or cop-hater, if you pull someone over for speeding, give them a ticket. Period. That's the reason why you pulled them over, for a ticket, not to judge if he/she deserves a ticket or not. That always gets to me about these staties...

    2. Re:Or better yet, a cop-lover. by selven · · Score: 1

      Sounds like a layer of obfuscation on top of the Russian system.

    3. Re:Or better yet, a cop-lover. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      every thing I heard and this from several cop friends of mine, they don't care. I worked for a cop charity like that and besides copyrighting the name and having a few old cops on board they were not affiliated with the police in anyway and they have to state that when they come calling for donations. they also have to disclose where the funds go and while some of them were sent to police related funds like buying vests for police dogs and stay off drug campaigns are the two I remember, so unless this group helps your cop specifically it isn't going to do you any good, something like 60% of the donations collected went to operational overhead many cops know this. in addition donations are not tax deductible so why anyone would donate I don't know it was just a way for me to try and put my way through college when I was tired of fast food.