Slashdot Mirror
UK Authorities Ban 'Lonely' People From Working With Children
A UK government organization, The Independent Safeguarding Authority, has started a new anti-paedophile database that takes into account lifestyles, relationships and beliefs when assessing the backgrounds of applicants, instead of just the usual criminal record check. The new guidelines allow the agency to consider unproven allegations made in newspaper reports, allegations from members of the public, as well as monitoring internet chatrooms and websites such as Facebook for evidence to use against applicants. Anyone judged to be a danger because of things like having no friends, or having a complicated private life, is banned from working with children, the homeless, or the elderly.
Has anybody out there ever seen a school janitor who wasn't a socially awkward misfit??? If they had people skills, they'd have a better job...
I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
Understood. In light of that, I suggest several other metrics that will be equally valuable:
90% of all serial killers are male. So males are disqualified.
84% of serial killers are caucasian, so none of them.
100% of child abusers have had contact with children, so ban anyone who has ever had contact with children.
Given that, taking on the identity of a non-white female who has never had contact with a child would be the perfect cover. Nobody would ever suspect such a person of being a serial killing child abuser. It would be nearly a cloak of invisibility, so we can't allow non-white women who have had no contact with children anywhere near children either.
So, the search is on for the perfect childcare expert, a black hermaphrodite with an uncomplicated personal life. Oh, and he/she must never have been a clown.