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Garlic Farmer Wards Off High-Speed Internet
DocVM writes "A Nova Scotia farmer is opposing the construction of a microwave tower for fear it will eventually mutate his organic garlic crop.
Lenny Levine, who has been planting and harvesting garlic by hand on his Annapolis Valley land since the 1970s, is afraid his organic crop could be irradiated if EastLink builds a microwave tower for wireless high-speed internet access a few hundred meters from his farm."
"I think over a period of time it will change the DNA of the garlic because it shakes up the molecules."
I wonder why he's concerned about the garlic DNA, but not his own? In other news, I objected to a wind farm cos I was worried about the flying saucers crashing into it...
I totally agree with the farmer! From my research, it even has dangerous effects
on humans!
Here are some of the symptoms that it causes:
1. Carpal tunnel
2. Distaste for light
3. A tendency to shout out: "First Post"
4. Loss/Gain of gold pieces
5. Disturbing images of cats
6. Lots of accidents that subsequently end up online.
7. Bad writing.
Can anyone think of other symptoms?
He probably decided to farm garlic to ward off the vampires. Can't say I blame him.
I don't believe in time. It's a grand conspiracy designed to sell watches.
Please regard this man as a non-representative sample.
This program was made possible by a grant from the Ultra-Humanite, and viewers like you.
His crop is already being irradiated...BY THE SUN. Idiots. Sheesh.
Yeah, and that radiation makes his crops grow to many times their original size! Exactly as 60s sci-fi predicts! So now who's the idiot, huh?
The enemies of Democracy are
I for one welcome our overgrown garlicky overlords.
Don't fear the penguins
Somewhere in Gilroy a Garlic farmer is dialing Sprint to beg for a tower so he can make monster garlic.
A conversation I had at an organic food shop:
Me: Do you have any pure mint extract?
Employee: Yeah man, we've got some right over here.
Me: This is the cosmetics aisle. It says "Not for human consumption." right on the bottle.
Employee: Oh. But its organic man, its okay.
Me: So are rhubarb leaves.
Employee: Oh. Man. I dunno man.
The masses are the crack whores of religion.
There are times when I wonder what the world might have been like if we hadn't pushed high speed microwave-based internet access in Nova Scotia. It's not like there weren't other solutions -- satellite, possibly. Cabling if they could have found someone to foot the bill. But there was a rush to make it happen, as usual with big business looking for their next tax haven. Who would have thought the entire world would pay for that bit of greed? Who would have thought we'd never dare look at the sun again.
The end can't be too far away. There aren't many of us left, down here in the caves. All the moss has been eaten. The water may last awhile longer, but without food....No one who's left the caves to search for food, no matter how desperate or self-assured, has ever come back. Perhaps our greatest fear, moreso than even starvation, is that the Garlics will be able to trace one of those people back to our hideout. We've taken precautions, of course, by choosing a tunnel system with a downdraft. At least that way, we can smell them coming.
You've hit on one of my pet peeves man. Hell, DIAMONDS are oraganic, and so is pencil lead. They way these people use the term incorrectly drives me nuts.
Seriously.
I have a steering wheel attached to my belt now because of it.
Right on! And the people who use "pencil lead" instead of "graphite." I mean, lead was never used in pencils. It's just that those idiots who discovered graphite thought it really was lead. The audacity...
No, no, no, you're doing it wrong. "His crops are being irradiated by an unshielded fusion reactor! And he's putting dihydrogen monoxide on his crops!"
Disconnect your television. Do your own research. Draw your own conclusions. They're probably lying. Don't be a sheep.
Tasty, garlicky overlords. I welcome them roasted and spread with a bit of olive oil on a baguette.
-jcr
The only title of honor that a tyrant can grant is "Enemy of the State."
His crop is already being irradiated...BY THE SUN. Idiots. Sheesh.
Yeah, and that radiation makes his crops grow to many times their original size! Exactly as 60s sci-fi predicts! So now who's the idiot, huh?
Attack of the well-grown tomatoes?
What evidence do you have to support your statement that "organic gardening is idiotic and dangerous"?
Not evidence, proof: "organic" stuff attracts hippies, hippies smoke pot, pot is dealt by drug-dealers, or grown organically on the garlic-farm, exponentially reinforcing the vicious cycle of bong-headedness and drug-war through the positive feedback mechanism as pot attracts both hippies and drug-dealers.
If you quote this signature there'll be 72 copies of Windows ME waiting for you in Heaven.
Clearly the sun is the enemy here. BURN THE SUN!
Through a cable...?