Apple Wants Patents For Crippling Cellphones

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Apple Wants Patents For Crippling Cellphones

Posted by kdawson on Friday October 2, 2009 @12:55AM from the say-it-ain't-so-steve dept.

theodp writes "Evil is in the eye of the beholder, but there's certainly not much to like in the newly-disclosed Apple patent applications for Systems and Methods for Provisioning Computing Devices. Provisioning, says Apple, allows carriers to 'specify access limitations to certain device resources which may otherwise be available to users of the device.' So what problem are we trying to solve here? 'Mobile devices often have capabilities that the carriers do not want utilized on their networks,' explains Apple. 'Various applications on these devices may also need to be restricted.'"

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Confirmed by cabjf · 2009-10-02 00:57 · Score: 5, Funny

This can only mean the iPhone is coming to Verizon!
1. Re:Confirmed by ThisIsForReal · 2009-10-02 01:14 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  I can picture a scene of pure evil, years from now, when Apple begins suing cell phone makers once their patent has been granted.
  "Your cell phone sucks. It doesn't use all of its potential, so you are infringing on our patent and you owe us money."
  
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  -THE END-
2. Re:Confirmed by cjb658 · 2009-10-02 03:26 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  I hope they get this patent. Then I won't have to deal with any of this crippleware B.S. anymore, as long as I don't buy a phone from Apple.
3. Re:Confirmed by DECS · 2009-10-02 05:36 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  That's what they want you to think. Just wait till those bits turn off. Suddenly YOUR files belong to THEM.
  ---
  Well I guess I could have written --------- but that might not have been as clear.
In other news... by Kirin+Fenrir · 2009-10-02 00:58 · Score: 4, Funny

All iPhones will now play the Imperial March on startup.

--
Caffeine is my anti-drug!

Duranin - A NWN2 Roleplaying Persistent World
1. Re:In other news... by kenj0418 · 2009-10-02 01:37 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  ... will now play the Imperial March ....
  My phone does that now -- but only when my ex-wife calls.
2. Re:In other news... by qazxswedc · 2009-10-02 03:21 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  Ex?! Mine plays that for my current wife.
3. Re:In other news... by cerberusss · 2009-10-02 04:12 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  Mine plays [the Imperial March] for my current wife.
  Complaining already, eh? You better pray that she doesn't alter the agreement any further.
  
  --
  8 of 13 people found this answer helpful. Did you?
That is hardly news by warp_kez · 2009-10-02 01:00 · Score: 5, Funny

When most phones, including the iPhone, come into contact with anything Apple, they become crippled.
At least we can officially call it: The Apple Effect.
Leave Apple Alone! by cjfs · 2009-10-02 01:06 · Score: 5, Funny

They're just patenting this defect so they can sue anyone that would try to harm us.
1. Re:Leave Apple Alone! by cjfs · 2009-10-02 01:16 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  Spoken like a Tru(TM) Fanboi!
  No, apparently I'm a windows fanboi this week.
  I'll forgive your misjudgment though, since someone modded the Apple comment insightful.
Wait a minute... by Chris+Mattern · 2009-10-02 01:21 · Score: 3, Funny

If Apple successfully patents this, it'll be harder for other people to do it. Why is this bad, again?
So it's DRM... ON A CELLPHONE by russotto · 2009-10-02 01:34 · Score: 3, Funny

Is "ON A CELLPHONE" the new "ON THE INTERNET"? A quick glance over the claims reveals nothing that hasn't been done with DRM before in other settings.
Re:Not defective by design by Aim+Here · 2009-10-02 01:37 · Score: 4, Funny

The only analogy I've been able to come up with that paints a good picture about why it's such a flawed model is what I call the Coca-Cola Principle....
No good! Don't understand! Your analogy has no cars!
Re:Queue Verizon talk in... by bytethese · 2009-10-02 01:45 · Score: 3, Funny

BTW, I meant queue as in "everyone is lining up to comment about Verizon" but thanks for knowing what I meant. :)
Re:Not defective by design by multisync · 2009-10-02 01:49 · Score: 4, Funny

Now that's a good business idea.
Let's patent it!

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I don't care why you're posting AC
Re:Queue Verizon talk in... by TaggartAleslayer · 2009-10-02 02:04 · Score: 4, Funny

Nice save there chief. Real smooth and entirely believable. O_o
Crippling phones? by jDeepbeep · 2009-10-02 02:23 · Score: 4, Funny

There's an app for that.

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Reply to That ||
1. Re:Crippling phones? by GuldKalle · 2009-10-02 04:04 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  Yeah, but it's not in the appstore. It's duplicating built-in functionality.
  
  --
  What?
Re:Queue Verizon talk in... by Anonymous Coward · 2009-10-02 03:45 · Score: 3, Funny

You guys are dorks
Apple's new motto by ClosedSource · 2009-10-02 05:23 · Score: 2, Funny

Do No Evil - unless your Apple