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Apple Wants Patents For Crippling Cellphones

theodp writes "Evil is in the eye of the beholder, but there's certainly not much to like in the newly-disclosed Apple patent applications for Systems and Methods for Provisioning Computing Devices. Provisioning, says Apple, allows carriers to 'specify access limitations to certain device resources which may otherwise be available to users of the device.' So what problem are we trying to solve here? 'Mobile devices often have capabilities that the carriers do not want utilized on their networks,' explains Apple. 'Various applications on these devices may also need to be restricted.'"

11 of 371 comments (clear)

  1. Confirmed by cabjf · · Score: 5, Funny

    This can only mean the iPhone is coming to Verizon!

    1. Re:Confirmed by ThisIsForReal · · Score: 5, Funny
      I can picture a scene of pure evil, years from now, when Apple begins suing cell phone makers once their patent has been granted.

      "Your cell phone sucks. It doesn't use all of its potential, so you are infringing on our patent and you owe us money."

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      -THE END-
    2. Re:Confirmed by cjb658 · · Score: 5, Funny

      I hope they get this patent. Then I won't have to deal with any of this crippleware B.S. anymore, as long as I don't buy a phone from Apple.

  2. In other news... by Kirin+Fenrir · · Score: 4, Funny

    All iPhones will now play the Imperial March on startup.

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    Caffeine is my anti-drug!

    Duranin - A NWN2 Roleplaying Persistent World
    1. Re:In other news... by kenj0418 · · Score: 5, Funny

      ... will now play the Imperial March ....

      My phone does that now -- but only when my ex-wife calls.

  3. That is hardly news by warp_kez · · Score: 5, Funny

    When most phones, including the iPhone, come into contact with anything Apple, they become crippled.

    At least we can officially call it: The Apple Effect.

  4. Leave Apple Alone! by cjfs · · Score: 5, Funny

    They're just patenting this defect so they can sue anyone that would try to harm us.

  5. Re:Not defective by design by Aim+Here · · Score: 4, Funny

    The only analogy I've been able to come up with that paints a good picture about why it's such a flawed model is what I call the Coca-Cola Principle....

    No good! Don't understand! Your analogy has no cars!

  6. Re:Not defective by design by multisync · · Score: 4, Funny

    Now that's a good business idea.

    Let's patent it!

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    I don't care why you're posting AC
  7. Re:Queue Verizon talk in... by TaggartAleslayer · · Score: 4, Funny

    Nice save there chief. Real smooth and entirely believable. O_o

  8. Crippling phones? by jDeepbeep · · Score: 4, Funny

    There's an app for that.

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