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Ministry of Defense's "How To Stop Leaks" Document Is Leaked
samzenpus writes "A restricted 2,400 page-document put out by the MoD designed to help intelligence personnel with information security has been leaked onto the internet. Wikileaks notes that Joint Services Protocol 440 (JSP 440), was published in 2001 and lays out protocols to defend against hackers, journalists, and foreign spies. it says, 'Leaks usually take the form of reports in the public media which appear to involve the unauthorized disclosure of official information (whether protectively marked or not) that causes political harm or embarrassment to either the UK Government or the Department concerned... The threat [of leakage] is less likely to arise from positive acts of counter-espionage, than from leakage of information through disaffected members of staff, or as a result of the attentions of an investigative journalist, or simply by accident or carelessness.' " Looks like it's time to write JSP 441.
Declare an inexistent document the ultimate reference on how to stop leaks, put references to it in selected internal documents and even build fake leaks about its existence. As noone will be able to find it, will really work, even against the human factor. You can make a gigantic library of such documents, and put all of them in the unexistent parallel library of congress, where noone will be able to see what countain all those leak-proof documents against sensible matters of national security. Next time someone will try to make problems, will be so sure that will be a full non-existent document about him in that library where everything is afraid of become known is written that will discard that idea, making the world a safer place.
Now with 50% more irony.
The Irony Department is going to get it for this.
I ran the text of the DMCA -- yes, all untold pages of it -- through an advanced semantic data compression algorithm.
The output was just the string "CITIZENBENDOVER".
I heard you like leaks...
The eternal struggle of good vs. evil begins within one's self.
How not to be seen (Caption on screen: 'HM GOVERNMENT, PUBLIC SERVICE FILM NO. 42 PARA 6. "HOW NOT TO BE SEEN"') Voice Over: In this film we hope to show how not to be seen. This is Mr. E.R. Bradshaw of Napier Court, Black Lion Road London SE5. He can not be seen. Now I am going to ask him to stand up. Mr. Bradshaw will you stand up please In the distance Mr Bradshaw stands up. There is a loud gunshot as Mr Bradshaw is shot in the stomach. He crumples to the ground Voice Over: This demonstrates the value of not being seen.
I've got some photographs, I'd like to show them to you. Though you don't know the girls You'll recognise the view..
Let me guess: It went something like this (pseudo-code):
while (!stdin.eof) buf = stdin.read();
print("CITIZENBENDOVER");
Any sufficiently advanced intelligence is indistinguishable from stupidity.
Robert Jordan fans.
Ice Cream has no bones.
epic fail