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Comcast's War On Infected PCs (Or All Customers)
thadmiller writes "Comcast is launching a trial on Thursday of a new automated service that will warn broadband customers of possible virus infections if the computers are behaving as if they have been compromised by malware. For instance, a significant overnight spike in traffic being sent from a particular Internet Protocol address could signal that a computer is infected with a virus, taking control of the system and using it to send spam as part of a botnet." Update: Jason Livingood
of Comcast's Internet Systems Engineering group sent to Dave Farber's "Interesting People" mailing list a more detailed explanation of what this trial will involve.
Comcast Gold PCGuard+ Express Pro has detected a significant overnight spike in your network usage that suggests your PC may be infected with a virus. This process has been identified as utorrent.exe. It is recommended that you delete all files related to this program immediately to keep your personal information secure.
That made me think of this: http://xkcd.com/570/
They even proactively installed AntiVirus 2009 on my system. Gosh, it's amazing how many viruses I had and didn't even know it.
I'll give you 2:1 odds that that is exactly what Comcast will do.
Warning: this article may contain humor, sarcasm, parody, and perhaps even irony. Read at your own risk.
Two words: False Positives. Ok, so I can't stick to two words... When a business is legally using their internet connection (a contractor uploading a very large set of files, including videos, etc., to update a client's live website, for example), and Comcast's actions cause that company to lose business or money due to breach of contract (deadlines are missed, live site goes down due to having only partially updated their files due to Comcast cutting the connection, etc.), there will be lawsuits, and Comcast will likely lose.
so block only porn sites. then they can do all the useful stuff they normally do, but you can bet your ass they'll be calling in pronto. (the conversation will then go as follows: "some sites aren't working!" "for example?" "uh.. I don't recall specifically.")
how many pairs of boxer shorts should you own?
A pop up notice in the user's malware-infected browser is not the way to notify customers.
Notifying anyone of anything was easy when the Windows Messenger service was enabled by default. ;-)
WTF, you trying to say you hate kittens?
I swear to God...I swear to God! That is NOT how you treat your human!
Comcast: You're using more bandwidth than we'd like you to, so you're obviously a spammer. Prove that your not infected and we'll turn you back on. /dotter: I run Linux!
Comcast: So you're not running antivirus purchased from a Comcast-approved vendor then? Please let us know when you've installed Norton or Mcaffee, and we'll be able to move to step two, where you prove you have the latest Windows Updates.
Socialism: a lie told by totalitarians and believed by fools.
I'm sure the conversation would be more like this:
Tech: "heylo plase tern off your computer and wait for ten seyconds"
User: "What are you talking about, I'm calling because you say I have a virus"
Tech: "Dayd you tern off your computer yet?"
User: "Did you hear anything I just said?"
Tech: "Comcast tern off not responsible kittens"
User: "Every word you say makes me angrier and angrier."
Tech: "Good, resolve glad issue. Bye"
It's really too bad that a cable company doesn't have any other means of communicating with their customers other than the internet.
Hehe, you're watching TV with the family, and at the next commercial break you see a guy in an easy chair, reading the newspaper. He looks up at the camera and says "Hi there Rick! I'm Jim, from Comcast. Enjoying the show? Hey I'm afraid I've got a bit of bad news - it looks like your computer is infected with BugBot32/A."
#DeleteChrome
Oh, and Rick? That skirt really doesn't go with those pumps.
Help stamp out iliturcy.