Slashdot Mirror
Microsoft Plans Largest-Ever Patch Tuesday
CWmike writes "Microsoft said it will deliver its largest-ever number of security updates on Tuesday to fix 13 flaws in every version of Windows, as well as Internet Explorer (IE), Office, SQL Server, important developer tools and Forefront Security client software. Among the updates will be the first for the final, or release to manufacturing, code of Windows 7, Microsoft's newest operating system. The 13 updates slated for next week, eight of them pegged 'critical,' beat the previous record of 12 updates shipped in February 2007 and again in October 2008." Update Reader Kurt Seifried writes to correct the math a bit, pointing to Microsoft's Advance Notification page for the release, which says that rather than 13 flaws, this Patch Tuesday involves "13 bulletins (eight critical and five important), addressing 34 vulnerabilities ... Most of these updates require a restart so please factor that into your deployment planning."
So it installs linux?
Congratulations on your purchase of a brand new nigger! If handled properly, your apeman will give years of valuable, if reluctant, service.
INSTALLING YOUR NIGGER.
You should install your nigger differently according to whether you have purchased the field or house model. Field niggers work best in a serial configuration, i.e. chained together. Chain your nigger to another nigger immediately after unpacking it, and don't even think about taking that chain off, ever. Many niggers start singing as soon as you put a chain on them. This habit can usually be thrashed out of them if nipped in the bud. House niggers work best as standalone units, but should be hobbled or hamstrung to prevent attempts at escape. At this stage, your nigger can also be given a name. Most owners use the same names over and over, since niggers become confused by too much data. Rufus, Rastus, Remus, Toby, Carslisle, Carlton, Hey-You!-Yes-you!, Yeller, Blackstar, and Sambo are all effective names for your new buck nigger. If your nigger is a ho, it should be called Latrelle, L'Tanya, or Jemima. Some owners call their nigger hoes Latrine for a joke. Pearl, Blossom, and Ivory are also righteous names for nigger hoes. These names go straight over your nigger's head, by the way.
CONFIGURING YOUR NIGGER
Owing to a design error, your nigger comes equipped with a tongue and vocal chords. Most niggers can master only a few basic human phrases with this apparatus - "muh dick" being the most popular. However, others make barking, yelping, yapping noises and appear to be in some pain, so you should probably call a vet and have him remove your nigger's tongue. Once de-tongued your nigger will be a lot happier - at least, you won't hear it complaining anywhere near as much. Niggers have nothing interesting to say, anyway. Many owners also castrate their niggers for health reasons (yours, mine, and that of women, not the nigger's). This is strongly recommended, and frankly, it's a mystery why this is not done on the boat
HOUSING YOUR NIGGER.
Your nigger can be accommodated in cages with stout iron bars. Make sure, however, that the bars are wide enough to push pieces of nigger food through. The rule of thumb is, four niggers per square yard of cage. So a fifteen foot by thirty foot nigger cage can accommodate two hundred niggers. You can site a nigger cage anywhere, even on soft ground. Don't worry about your nigger fashioning makeshift shovels out of odd pieces of wood and digging an escape tunnel under the bars of the cage. Niggers never invented the shovel before and they're not about to now. In any case, your nigger is certainly too lazy to attempt escape. As long as the free food holds out, your nigger is living better than it did in Africa, so it will stay put. Buck niggers and hoe niggers can be safely accommodated in the same cage, as bucks never attempt sex with black hoes.
FEEDING YOUR NIGGER.
Your Nigger likes fried chicken, corn bread, and watermelon. You should therefore give it none of these things because its lazy ass almost certainly doesn't deserve it. Instead, feed it on porridge with salt, and creek water. Your nigger will supplement its diet with whatever it finds in the fields, other niggers, etc. Experienced nigger owners sometimes push watermelon slices through the bars of the nigger cage at the end of the day as a treat, but only if all niggers have worked well and nothing has been stolen that day. Mike of the Old Ranch Plantation reports that this last one is a killer, since all niggers steal something almost every single day of their lives. He reports he doesn't have to spend much on free watermelon for his niggers as a result. You should never allow your nigger meal breaks while at work, since if it stops work for more than ten minutes it will need to be retrained. You would be surprised how long it takes to teach a nigger to pick cotton. You really would. Coffee beans? Don't ask. You have no idea.
MAKING YOUR NIGGER WORK.
Niggers are very, very averse to work of any kind. The nigger's most
Sorry, but I don't understand the hate for WGA. Windows is pretty much THE most pirated software out there, and WGA is a very basic attempt to make it at least a little hard for pirates. It causes no problems to people with a legit copy of XP (or the pirates smart enough to use a WGA crack) and only hounds pirates (or again, the pirates not smart enough to use a WGA crack). Who gives a rats ass if you can't patch without having a small WGA check? It checks your system to see what patches you need, how is checking WGA any different?
Microsoft wants to verify "something", god knows what, every time I try to access patches.
They want to take literally 1 second to check that you have a legit copy of Windows (or in the case of using a crack, what WGA is told is a legit copy). 1 second. Even the President isn't so busy that he's going to foam at the mouth over waiting literally 1 second.
Complaining about WGA is as stupid as people complaining about having to put the cd / dvd in to play a game. It's a very minor form of copy protection that causes no inconvenience to users - well, users that don't like to bitch about the massive effort of having to put a disc in to play a game.......I can only imagine the moaning they do over having to put a dvd in to watch a movie or put a cd in the stereo to listen to music.
I'm pretty much the biggest anti-DRM person that there is. But as long as you own a legit copy, WGA in no way impedes your ability to use Windows, nor does it impede your ability to install without an internet connection.
"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." ~Thomas Jefferson
Amazing that a software company would dip into it's infinite cash reserves and pay programmers to do some work, and repair their broken products.
I'll pass on win 7, and Vista
no pro tools 8 when ie8 is slipstreamed or installed - $200
no lexicon - $1500
no hp 3570c - $40
$1740 of hardware to be tossed out? For what?
$300 + 6 months of installing, testing, debugging, and serial number entering fun?!
Only to find various forms of box canyons, no u-turns, dead-ends and incompatibilities?
To spend months tracking down conflicts and debugging the system so there are no errors in the freaking CRAPPY ASS event viewer?
To spend months custom tweaking conflicting dll's, programs, and re-compiling custom code that might not work?
(And yeah if your wondering I use Linux, and FBSD, but not for Video/Audio workstations)
What Microsoft needs to do is cut it out with the once a month patch nonsense. Patch when the patch is available. DAILY.
The second thing is they need to provide a way to remove ie8 and roll it back to ie7 on any box.
Even if it was slipstreamed and has no god damned c:\windows\ie8\spuninstall.exe file existing.
(That ie8 breaks hell of shit besides pro tools, it breaks translation software also.)
If all you want to do is blog and buy shit off ebay I would push an ubuntu/debian on ya.
If you want to produce video and audio, you want an (32bit) XP SP3 with NO ie8!
And if that box has to face the web you want it hidden behind IPCop.
Still Microsoft is screwing up. I remember when they stopped updates on ftp.
They really suck, if you break IE8 you will not be able to update.
If you break IE8 you can not use system restore.
(Side note: turn system restore off your data drives!)
I now have a pair of drives, I clone the OS back and forth. And another for data drive, I don't back up.
I use Sun Virtual Box to create three ubuntu's which I use for
1. Blogs, dangerous web fun
2. eBay bidding, amazon shopping
3. Paypal/Banks
I am done with microsoft too, but in a different way. (I only wish I could figure out a way to download every potential driver for every known piece of hardware, so when they finally pull the plug, I will simply disconnect the XP workstation from internet access. (Why would you need access on a DAW/ Video worksta?) When you produce tv, you have to post times, and information about who's on the channel, you could technically just have two boxes, but when your not corporate media your limited by your financial ability, it's funny though cause I also found that security is ALSO limited by your financial ability.
As usual, I will lay low on the 14th and keep an ear up for problems before I patch.