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Google To Take On iTunes?
An anonymous reader writes 'Multiple sources say Google is preparing to launch Google Audio. According to people familiar with the matter, Google has been securing content from record companies. Is Google about to go head-to-head with Apple's iTunes?'
As a dominant content company Google must not be allowed to use it's search results to promote it's product offerings. They better have ironclad separation between the divisions.
Congratulations on your purchase of a brand new nigger! If handled properly, your apeman will give years of valuable, if reluctant, service.
INSTALLING YOUR NIGGER.
You should install your nigger differently according to whether you have purchased the field or house model. Field niggers work best in a serial configuration, i.e. chained together. Chain your nigger to another nigger immediately after unpacking it, and don't even think about taking that chain off, ever. Many niggers start singing as soon as you put a chain on them. This habit can usually be thrashed out of them if nipped in the bud. House niggers work best as standalone units, but should be hobbled or hamstrung to prevent attempts at escape. At this stage, your nigger can also be given a name. Most owners use the same names over and over, since niggers become confused by too much data. Rufus, Rastus, Remus, Toby, Carslisle, Carlton, Hey-You!-Yes-you!, Yeller, Blackstar, and Sambo are all effective names for your new buck nigger. If your nigger is a ho, it should be called Latrelle, L'Tanya, or Jemima. Some owners call their nigger hoes Latrine for a joke. Pearl, Blossom, and Ivory are also righteous names for nigger hoes. These names go straight over your nigger's head, by the way.
CONFIGURING YOUR NIGGER
Owing to a design error, your nigger comes equipped with a tongue and vocal chords. Most niggers can master only a few basic human phrases with this apparatus - "muh dick" being the most popular. However, others make barking, yelping, yapping noises and appear to be in some pain, so you should probably call a vet and have him remove your nigger's tongue. Once de-tongued your nigger will be a lot happier - at least, you won't hear it complaining anywhere near as much. Niggers have nothing interesting to say, anyway. Many owners also castrate their niggers for health reasons (yours, mine, and that of women, not the nigger's). This is strongly recommended, and frankly, it's a mystery why this is not done on the boat
HOUSING YOUR NIGGER.
Your nigger can be accommodated in cages with stout iron bars. Make sure, however, that the bars are wide enough to push pieces of nigger food through. The rule of thumb is, four niggers per square yard of cage. So a fifteen foot by thirty foot nigger cage can accommodate two hundred niggers. You can site a nigger cage anywhere, even on soft ground. Don't worry about your nigger fashioning makeshift shovels out of odd pieces of wood and digging an escape tunnel under the bars of the cage. Niggers never invented the shovel before and they're not about to now. In any case, your nigger is certainly too lazy to attempt escape. As long as the free food holds out, your nigger is living better than it did in Africa, so it will stay put. Buck niggers and hoe niggers can be safely accommodated in the same cage, as bucks never attempt sex with black hoes.
FEEDING YOUR NIGGER.
Your Nigger likes fried chicken, corn bread, and watermelon. You should therefore give it none of these things because its lazy ass almost certainly doesn't deserve it. Instead, feed it on porridge with salt, and creek water. Your nigger will supplement its diet with whatever it finds in the fields, other niggers, etc. Experienced nigger owners sometimes push watermelon slices through the bars of the nigger cage at the end of the day as a treat, but only if all niggers have worked well and nothing has been stolen that day. Mike of the Old Ranch Plantation reports that this last one is a killer, since all niggers steal something almost every single day of their lives. He reports he doesn't have to spend much on free watermelon for his niggers as a result. You should never allow your nigger meal breaks while at work, since if it stops work for more than ten minutes it will need to be retrained. You would be surprised how long it takes to teach a nigger to pick cotton. You really would. Coffee beans? Don't ask. You have no idea.
MAKING YOUR NIGGER WORK.
Niggers are very, very averse to work of any kind. The nigger's most
an alternative to itunes would be great, but it would have to sync non jailbroken iphones ipod touch / whatever comes next and apple clearly doesn't want any program other than itunes doing that. see palm.
All this hype about omgz Google is so innovative. Let's take a step back and see what they have actually created shall we?
Search engine? There were plenty of search engines before Google came along
Android? Oh look, Apple are doing really well with phones, let's be on the cutting edge and... create a phone
Online music? Apple are doing really well with iTunes, time to be way out there, live life on the edge, and... get into online music
Google maps? Easy to use but hardly a new concept
Gmail? wow!! how imaginative - a decade after online email they blow everyones minds with, you guessed it... online email
So all you fanbois - with all the fanfare and hype - what exactly has Google really invented or developed that is so way out there? I'm not suggesting Apple invented any of those other things either, the difference is Apple + co don't go around telling everyone how they have legions of super smart uber-nerds who come up with ideas us mere mortals cannot even comprehend. So tell us - besides developing good search algorithms what exactly have these uber-nerds given us that requires such massive pools brain power?
I put forward that on an innovation per IQ point Google is perhaps the most inefficient use of intelligence ever.
iPods and the like are not the best, and you're kidding yourself if you think they're anywhere close. They basically pulled off a Microsoft of their own - in the right place at the right time. They got a critical mass of brand name recognition and rode that to where they are today.
Terrible stock speakers, comparitively crappy audio decoding hardware, and tying them to annoying and crappy programs (iTunes) is just the start. "Popular" does not imply "Superior".
I just visited mpd.wikia.org in opera and it redirected to some zroalert.com site "Initializing virus scanner" with a little alert saying my computer was at high risk and should be scanned thoroughly. I disabled scripts and quickly closed the tab, then visited again in firefox with adblock plus and it's fine, no redirects. some malicious advertising there, maybe? anyways, just warning people.
Also, googling zroalert.com didn't find anything much, except that the domain had been registered...
"If you make something that any idiot can use, only idiots will use it."
This quote is very true in the case of iPod. I'll rather take a flashy gadget with OVER 9000 features.
"It's such a fine line between stupid and clever" -- David St. Hubbins, Spinal Tap