Terminator Franchise To Be Auctioned Off
"For sale: One slightly-used Terminator. Still works, minor attitude problems, get it cheap now!' Several sources are reporting that the Terminator franchise is set to be auctioned off just three weeks after another well known franchise, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, was sold for $60 million. The present owner, Halcyon, has filed for chapter 11 after a dispute with a hedge fund that lent Halcyon the money to buy the rights to begin with. The auction will include rights to everything but the first two films.
They made more than two?
--- Do you believe in the day?
...or do you have to buy the governator separately?
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You would get considerably more crossover cred with "I'd buy that for a dollar!"...
I guess that it is Judgment Day for the franchise...
Hey, I am sure someone wants to buy Howard the Duck!
No sig for the moment.
(Crowd of people walking around in the front yard of a surburban house, looking at various bits of household junk)
Customer: (Looking around) Oh hey, what's this? It looks like some sort of oversized metal action figure!
Homeowner: That's a robot we've had down in the basement for a couple years now. Has an interesting history. Supposedly, it was thrown together by an unknown, but obviously brilliant computer scientist as a work project. Shame about what happened to him.
Supposedly after he'd finished building the thing, it got loose. There was this shotgun toting psycho of a woman who the police found raving and screaming about how it was trying to murder her and her kid. The police had a hell of a time taking her into custody; they've kept her sedated and locked up in a padded cell ever since.
Customer: Sounds like an amazing story! How much do you want for it?
Homeowner: (Slowly, pausing) $60 million.
Customer: WHAT?! But anyway...if anyone was even going to remotely consider paying that kind of money for it, it'd need to be able to do something beyond awesome! So give me a demonstration! How do I turn it on?
(Finds an old car battery and some jumper cables nearby, as other items for sale)
Hey, this'd work!
Homeowner: I'm not sure that's such a good idea...
Customer: It looks like just a kid's toy! Except a bit bigger of course. I'm sure it's perfectly safe!
(Applies cables to battery and T800, causing an explosion of sparks. The T800 rises up slowly from its' previous sitting position, its' eyes beginning to glow red)
Homeowner: ...
What's wrong with idea for "Terminator: The Musical!"? I think that's the best idea ever to come out of Joss Whedon! With hit songs like "I'll be Bach!" and "Hasta la vista, baby, baby, baby!" how can it possibly fail?
I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
California is even auctioning off their governor. Their budget problems must be really bad.
To Halcyon (Re:Terminator),
I would like to purchase your rights to the Terminator franchise. I hereto offer you two full and unused pockets full lint and or little bits of string. I feel that having seen the last set of movies, this is more than a fair bid. I'm willing to throw in up too, but not exceeding, one full fist full of dryer lint as a good faith payment.
Sincerely yours, Groggnrath (a devoted sci-fi fan).
That's what I thought they should have done with the "Alien" franchise after the second one. They already had the haunted house movie and the war movie, the next obvious step was the buddy cop movie and the musical. Oh, and "Aliens on Ice" (they don't even need skates...)
the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
...some of us are sure that there are only three Indy films.
Wait a second, there ARE only three Indy films. Why do you mention that fact like it's some sort of controversy? But I can understand how people could get confused. Lead actors occasionally play other roles.
I do remember the MacGyver spinoff that Harrison Ford starred in, "crystal head" or something. I understand that some people think that had something to do with the Jones franchise, since Ford was the lead character in all the Indy films.
But that's just confusion on their part, same as someone thinking that there was more than one "Die Hard" movie just because Willis starred in some other flicks, or that there are more than three Star Wars movies.
PS: I'm not sure what they are selling off. There are really two Terminator films.
Maybe they are trying to sell off "Summer Glau Show" off as part of the Terminator franchise (in which, if I could understand the plot, has something to do with her being a Terminator. I'm not entirely sure, though, because people keep blathering and getting on screen and sometimes blocking a clear view of her.) If so, that show can come back. Keep her and the mom, drop the young dude who appears to be Anakin Skywalker as a kid or something (boy genius who whines a lot about some destiny). Might sell a few ads on an off night and pay for itself if they don't try to spend too much time developing a cohesive plot or special effects that aren't wardrobe-related.
"This post contains words, known to the State of California to cause thought. Wash brain thoroughly after reading."
Hey, I am sure someone wants to buy Howard the Duck!
With any luck, it will be Tyson Foods.
Why, without your clothes, you're naked, Miss Dudley!
I heard Kevin Smith was already working on the sequel...
We would like to offer 70 trillion earth currency units for the rights to the Terminator franchise, including all media assets, merchandising rights, and sole possession of all time travel, computing, and robotics technology, and other sensitive T-xxx schematics.
We further promise not to use said knowledge for malevolent purposes.
Sincerely,
Skynet News Corp.