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Micro-Black Holes Make Poor Planet Killers

Posted by timothy on from the they-don't-even-make-good-nightclubs dept.

astroengine writes "Physicists are getting excited about the possibility of micro-black holes (MBH) being produced by the LHC and an international group of researchers have done the math to see what kind of impact they could have on the Earth. Unfortunately, if you're a megalomaniac looking for your next globe-eating weapon, you can scrub MBHs off your WMD list. If a speedy MBH is produced, flying through our planet, it will only have a few seconds to accrete the mass of a few atoms. It would then be lost to space where it will evaporate. If a slow MBH is produced, dropping into the Earth where it sits for a few billion years, the results are even more boring."

18 of 314 comments (clear)

  1. More Mass = More Suck by amazeofdeath · · Score: 5, Funny

    I guess I know what kind of girl to look for now ;)

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    U+F8FF
    1. Re:More Mass = More Suck by elrous0 · · Score: 2, Funny

      I guess it turns out that size DOES matter.

      --
      SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
    2. Re:More Mass = More Suck by scorp1us · · Score: 4, Funny

      This has always been true. My friends quip about my dating chubby girls all the time. I never told them why, but they'll know now!

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      Slashdot's rate-of-post filter: Preventing you from posting too many great ideas at once.
    3. Re:More Mass = More Suck by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      why are fat girls so good at giving head?

      becuase they have to be

      .

    4. Re:More Mass = More Suck by Yamata+no+Orochi · · Score: 3, Funny

      why are fat girls so good at giving head?

      becuase they're hungry

      FTFY

  2. But what if slow black holes collide? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    Sorry, but I really feel the need to be afraid of something irrational.

    1. Re:But what if slow black holes collide? by bcmm · · Score: 5, Funny

      Have you considered religion?

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      # cat /dev/mem | strings | grep -i llama
      Damn, my RAM is full of llamas.
  3. Poor MBHs by Rik+Sweeney · · Score: 2, Funny

    Ironically, it sucks to be them :)

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    Summation 2
    1. Re:Poor MBHs by electricbern · · Score: 4, Funny

      When will people see the light? MBHs don't suck so bad.

      --
      alias possession='chmod 666 satan && ls /dev > il && tail daemon.log'
  4. But that's how they killed Vulcan... by JoeDuncan · · Score: 4, Funny
    ... I guess someone forgot to tell Nero

    How much red matter does the LHC use anyway?

    1. Re:But that's how they killed Vulcan... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      Too Soon. Not Funny.

  5. Study Funded By Black Hole Companies by tjstork · · Score: 4, Funny

    What people don't realize is that this study was funded by companies that produce black holes.

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  6. Well... by hyperion2010 · · Score: 2, Funny

    This sucks.

  7. Re:Good article, won't stop the panic of the idjit by L4t3r4lu5 · · Score: 4, Funny
    How could we not read it like that?!

    "... if you're a megalomaniac looking for your next globe-eating weapon,... a speedy MBH ... flying through our planet... will only have a few seconds to accrete the mass of ... the Earth ."

    WE'RE DOOMED!

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  8. Get your crowbars ready. by RealErmine · · Score: 2, Funny

    I'm more worried about the possibility of a resonance cascade.

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  9. Financial Offer by arthurpaliden · · Score: 3, Funny

    A week before they turn it on to produce the MBH and destroy the Earth I will buy anyones home for 5 cents on the dollar so they can spend their last week in a continuous state of Party.

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    Undetectable Steganography? Yep, there's an app fo
  10. Scary Hypothesis.....We are destroying the World by jameskojiro · · Score: 3, Funny

    I think the LHC has destroyed the world multiple times now. It is just that we here and now are the survivors of the disasters....

    According to the Multi-verse theory, each quantum fluctuation creates a new universe or timeline.....

    Because we are alive and well and not consumed by a black hole, that means in "our" branch of the multiverse we haven't created a Black Hole that swallows earth "yet".....

    But fear not because Even if the LHC were to create a earth consuming black hole, strangelet, way to lower the energy level entire universe leading to it's immediate destruction. We will survive because at least one branch of timeline will survive by failing to create these anomolies and go on to branch out some more to survive whatever weird physics experiments we dream up of go arwy.....

    The only problem is when creating black hols and exotic matter that is large enough to reduce quantum probability and then we are really screwed.

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  11. Re:Evaporate? by abigor · · Score: 2, Funny

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hawking_radiation