Two Earth-Sized Bodies With Oxygen-Rich Atmospheres

tugfoigel writes "Astrophysicists at the University of Warwick and Kiel University have discovered two bodies the size of earth with oxygen-rich atmospheres — however, there is a disappointing snag for anyone looking for a potential home for alien life, or even a future home for ourselves. These are not planets, but are actually two unusual white dwarf stars." The objects, 220 and 400 light-years distant, are believed to be remnants of stars between 7 and 10 solar masses. Such stars, the largest that evolve to white dwarves, have been sought for years. If the stars were a little more massive they would collapse to neutron stars, or so the theory goes. Here is the paper on the arXiv.

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The TOW-TURE truck:

[Ethanol-fueled]

Synopsis: The tow-ture truck is a vehicle operated by the fire department for the purpose of punishing those who work on their cars in public parking lots. It is driven by stoic surfer-dudes. It has an inverted bed on the back which is full of instruments of torture as well as a robot arm to pull people under for punishment.

Tow-ture truck operator :

This is the tow-ture truck.

[ Two men are tending to a beat-up Chevy Nova in a public parking lot. One of them is under the rear, fixing it, and one is standing to the side of the pickup. The tow-ture truck operator attaches the winch hook to the rear bumper. The man standing to the side of the Nova graps the cable and begins to spin it. When the cable is spun quickly, it smears to the various shapes of the hydrogen wave function when seen from above. ]

Tow-ture truck operator :

First, don't spin my cable,
which is a solution to
the partial differential equations
schroedinger knew

the direction field follows
a blurry twist
which is why, if you can't see it,
it dosen't exist.

[ The winch on the tow-ture truck begins to pull the Nova upwards as the man under it, previously oblivious to the spectacle, says, "what the hell?" as a robot arm extends from under the tow-ture truck and grabs him by is ankle. He is being pulled under the tow-ture truck, enclosed on all sides by metal walls and the ground below. he is trapped under the towture truck when it begins to move slowly... ]

Tow-ture truck operator :

next, we back over you
till you're under the bed
if you cant keep up, the motorized tailgate
will crush your head.

as long as you keep crawling,
I'll go slow enough for you,
but if we vent the coolant plugs
we may turn you to stew.

One more thing --
there's no way...you can crawl out the sides,
50 Kilovolt volt lightning rods
will fry your fuckin' hide!

If you want to have a warm winter,

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