Would You Use a Free Netbook From Google?

Glyn Moody writes "The response to Google's Chromium OS has been rather lukewarm. But suppose it's just part of something much bigger: a netbook computer from Google that would cost absolutely nothing. Because all the apps and data are stored in the cloud, storage requirements would be minimal; screens are getting cheaper, and the emphasis on lean code means that a low-cost processor could be used. Those relatively small hardware costs could then be covered by advertising in the apps — after all, they are just Web pages. Interestingly, Google has not only rolled out advertising to more of its services recently, it has also started running AdSense ads in the desktop application Google Earth. Would you accept a free Google netbook — or is the price you would pay in terms of the company knowing even more about what you do on an hour-by-hour basis just too high?"

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Windows 7 boils more babies!

[David Gerard]

Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer played down the news of Googles new Chrome OS, designed to outdo Microsoft in quickly and efficiently boiling babies on netbooks.

Yo Sergey, shouted Ballmer, Imma really happy for you, Ill let you finish, but Windows 7 is one of the best baby roasters of all time. He slowly and lumberingly rolled a seven-foot-tall baby boiler with a Windows logo on the side onto the stage. One of the best baby roasters of all time!

Early paid press coverage for Windows 7 lauded its theoretical likelihood of boiling babies in the near future, as compared to the effects of Vista, which left many of the babies with frostbite. But we are fully confident that with Windows 7, we can get the baby up to 90, 100 degrees every time! The fine print on the benchmark results revealed these figures were Fahrenheit, not Celsius.

Microsofts derision of Chrome OS as unimportant follows Microsofts derision of the iPhone, the iPod, Google Search, the Chrome browser, Mozilla Firefox and Linux and any other competitor thats ended up kicking their lazy fat asses. With Windows 7, Microsofts baby boiling operations will leave that Jobs asshole in the dust. In the dust!

Steve Jobs snorted in derision at his rivals pathetic attempts to do something useful, before revealing Apples new iBoil, which fits in your pocket and will lightly sautee the baby with a bechamel sauce and garnish.