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NYT's "Games To Avoid" an Ironic, Perfect Gamer Wish List
MojoKid writes "From October to December, the advertising departments of a thousand companies exhort children to beg, cajole, and guilt-trip their parents for all manner of inappropriate digital entertainment. As supposedly informed gatekeepers, we sadly earthbound Santas are reduced to scouring the back pages of gaming review sites and magazines, trying to evaluate whether the tot at home is ready for Big Bird's Egg Hunt or Bayonetta. Luckily, The New York Times is here to help. In a recent article provokingly titled 'Ten Games to Cross off Your Child's Gift List,' the NYT names its list of big bads — the video games so foul, so gruesome, so perverse that we'd recommend you buy them immediately — for yourself. Alternatively, if you need gift ideas for the surly, pale teenager in your home whose body contains more plastic then your average d20, this is the newspaper clipping to stuff in your pocket. In other words, if you need a list like this to understand what games to not stuff little Johnny's stocking with this holiday season, you've got larger issues you should concern yourself with. We'd suggest picking up an auto-shotty and taking a few rounds against the horde — it's a wonderful stress relief and you're probably going to need it."
Why, if a game is too adversarial for a child, would you think it was okay for you?
Have you noticed that people who play video games a lot tend to be unusually socially backward? When living in a fantasy world, you learn nothing about the real world.
Without out that list, how could parents ever know that an M rated game wasn't appropriate for kids?
I mean, it's not like there is a rather visible ESRB M logo which says Mature 17+ on the front or back of the game case, if not both.
Or that most stores tend to post an ESRB list by their games.
Or even that the ESRB has been around for 15 years.
I mean really... if even one of those things had been true, that list would be totally inane.
Errr, sorry what? Are you sure? No, really, it can't be...
Ummm...
Excuse me everyone, apparently I was mistaken.
It seems that all of those, um, examples are in fact true. Boy is my editors face red for letting that one slip through.
I'll return you to your previously viewed ranting as soon as you stop reading this.
>^_^<
"Sports games" arent exactly "wholesome". More people die or get injurred playing highschool football and its been apart of of culture for a long time. It's also heavily supported by your local public school and the parents within your community.
I dont know about your town, but around here, we're famous for shoving a pine cone up a highschool football players asshole. (National news story) The poor kid has been far more damaged by football, than videogames. OH I know it wasnt on the field, but does that really matter? If you want on the feild, look up the recent college basketball player that broke his spine or the deaths that have taken place on the highschool football field.
NEXT
Music themed games? You mean those games with thrusting pelvises and celebrity worship? Celebrities that do massive amounts of drugs, pay professional hookers, and use the naughty words in their music?
Not wholesome either.
NEXT
"Arcade"
Lets hope the author of this article doesnt recommend UNO on xbox live, for children... Can you say "Cock pics?"
NEXT...
Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 is F'n incredible. OK Perhaps i dont recommend it for the incredibly young, but its just a game people. If you're afraid that a videogame will turn your child into a murderer, you should be praying Santa brings the kid some new parents that will teach their child what right and wrong is, and what entertainment is... and what REAL WAR means. It should be easy now, if only the news media actually covered the war. Perhaps the New York Times has better things to write about, like what you should and shouldnt be doing as a parent.
Oh well.
Obama is a fucking sell out.
SINGLE PAYER UNIVERAL HEALTH CARE NOW....
The Option is dead. Fuck em all.