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ID Thief Tries To Get Witnesses Whacked

Posted by kdawson on from the palpable-escalation dept.

adeelarshad82 writes "Pavel Valkovich of Sherman Oaks, CA has pleaded guilty to solicitation of murder, admitting that he attempted to hire hit-men to kill witnesses working with Federal authorities in their investigation of Valkovich's ID theft activities and subsequent crimes. According to the Justice Department: '...Valkovich and others had stolen personal identifying information and used that information to transfer funds from victims' bank accounts to PayPal accounts.'"

10 of 168 comments (clear)

  1. It wasn't him... by Sarten-X · · Score: 3, Funny

    ...his identity must have been stolen!

    --
    You do not have a moral or legal right to do absolutely anything you want.
  2. Re:What. The. Funk? by Thanshin · · Score: 4, Funny

    Valkovich will face a statutory maximum of 50 years in prison: 20 years for the murder-for-hire and 30 years for the bank fraud

    On further investigation, a new fact has been discovered. When Valkovich was hiring the assassin, he was simultaneously copying his cds to a usb player. The sentence has been changed to death penalty of him, his entire family, and everybody in the same neighborhood with a name starting with a V, or a W.

  3. surely this plan must eventually succeed by Trepidity · · Score: 2, Funny

    The authorities learned of the murder-for-hire plot, charged him with it and transferred him to a different jail facility, There he approach[ed] yet another individual and proposed that he kill both the original witness and the person Valkovich had attempted to hire for the first hit.

    A minor setback, really--- clearly he's now just in need of a fourth person willing to commit three murders for hire...

    --
    10 PRINT CHR$(205.5+RND(1)); : GOTO 10
    1. Re:surely this plan must eventually succeed by Thanshin · · Score: 3, Funny

      A minor setback, really--- clearly he's now just in need of a fourth person willing to commit three murders for hire...

      That's an example of the classic "putting fires off" mentality.

      A good manager would have sent two assassins for the first target and two more for the assassins themselves. He'd then hire a fifth assassin, of greater skill, to kill whoever was alive at the end of the deals.

      To hire such number of assassins, he'd have probaly created a small HR department. And to recoup from this initial investment, he'd capitalize the already prepared team by subcontracting it to other businesses.

  4. Re:What. The. Funk? by Rogerborg · · Score: 3, Funny

    Didn't Joshua Lincoln bring the laws on stone tablets down from a burning ark on Mount Rushmore? I'm pretty sure that's what I was taught in Civics 101.

    --
    If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
  5. Re:What. The. Funk? by Rufty · · Score: 2, Funny

    Actual murder would get, what, 10 years, tops?

    --
    Red to red, black to black. Switch it on, but stand well back.
  6. Re:i was called to jury duty once by xmundt · · Score: 4, Funny

    Actually, I had an amusing moment in the early 90s as regards this. I got a jury duty notice addressed to my father. Well, I called the court clerk and had a short conversation that went something like this:
            Me: "Hello....I got this notice and I am calling to let you know that he will not be able to serve".
            Clerk (in kind of a snotty tone): "I'm sorry sir, but everyone that is called is required to serve, or appear to explain why they cannot".
            Me: "That may be a little difficult because he has been dead for six years now..."
                            lllloooonnnnngggg silence.
              Clerk: "Ok...." and hangs up.

              Apparently they got their records updated because I got no more summons. I must admit that I had this momentary desire to jerk them around a bit, and tell them that if they wanted to talk to him, they would have to come and get him....and then give his current address as the cemetary where he was buried.

              Got to love the bureaucracy.
              Dave Mundt

    --
    YAB - http://blog.beemandave.com/
  7. Re:What. The. Funk? by djdbass · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...but those 10 years are in a Federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison!!

  8. Re:"Copyright theft" and *Identity theft" by clone53421 · · Score: 2, Funny

    1a: the act of stealing; specifically: the felonious taking and removing of personal property with intent to deprive the rightful owner of it b: an unlawful taking (as by embezzlement or burglary) of property

    1a: deceit, trickery; specifically: intentional perversion of truth in order to induce another to part with something of value or to surrender a legal right b: an act of deceiving or misrepresenting: trick
    2a: a person who is not what he or she pretends to be: impostor; also: one who defrauds: cheat b: one that is not what it seems or is represented to be

    Now, did you have a point to make, or are you just being an asshat?

    --
    Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
  9. Re:Pond life by thePowerOfGrayskull · · Score: 2, Funny

    Couldn't have happened to a nicer piece of pond scum.

    Don't be so complimentary - at least pond scum (of the algae variety) has its place in the ecosystem...