Slashdot Mirror
Legislator Wants Cancer Warnings For Cell Phones
Cytalk writes "A Maine legislator wants to make the state the first to require cell phones to carry warnings that they can cause brain cancer, although there is no consensus among scientists that they do and industry leaders dispute the claim. The now-ubiquitous devices carry such warnings in some countries, though no US states require them, according to the National Conference of State Legislators. A similar effort is afoot in San Francisco, where Mayor Gavin Newsom wants his city to be the nation’s first to require the warnings."
If you want proof that cell phones cause brain damage, just listen to someone talking on one.
I recall smoking cheap cigars and reading the warning label on the packaging. It might cause cancer in the state of California. Glad I smoked 'em in Florida. Made me rest a hell of a lot easier, ya know?
"Use of this device while travelling on public transit may cause people to hate you"
Karma: Excellent. 15 moderator points expire sometime.
Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays...
Warning: "Politics makes you a fuckhead"
That should totally be made into a T-Shirt
We all have to go sometime, son. And you've used all your rollover minutes anyway.
I can prove that Cell phones cause cancer because they are always emitting their GPS signals to the government, and they can remotely activate the voice input on your phone to listen to what you are saying. Luckily, I've got a free open source non-patentable method of keeping them out. You take some regular household tinfoil, and you wrap it around your head, so that it nicely rests on the ears. Make sure you get everything North of your eyebrows covered, and all the way around to the strange marking on that back of your neck from that one night you were abducted. (For those not abducted, just cover the entirety of your neck, to be safe).
Next, you need to take your passport and stick it in the Microwave, because the government put an RFID in there, to keep track of what terrorist states you are visiting. While you're in the kitchen, get a water filter, but not Brita, that is clearly alluding to England which is a close friend to the United States Government. Make sure you filter your water twice, and possibly even Distill it to make sure any and all drugs in the water are not present.
You should start a garden in your basement and grow some wheat (not outside! They'll see your crops on Google and poison them!). You can then turn that wheat into your own flour and use your own non-contaminated water to make dough, which you can then turn into a wide variety of foods.
Last but not least, every time you use your computer, make sure to open a text document and type in "I KNOW YOU'RE WATCHING" so that the FBI/CIA/Military Industrial Complex knows that you know and won't bother watching you. Follow these simple steps and you too can free yourself from the insanity that oppresses the sheeple into doing the corporations bidding. Maybe one day we'll rise against the new world order together, and take back what is rightfully ours **(I don't know what that is yet, but when I figure it out I'll let you know.)
That should totally be made into a T-Shirt
... and sent to every politician.
When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!
Including Ron Paul
I heard that secret government labs were working on a special new kind of headset that uses on ordinary _wire_ to connect to a telephone.
I can't imagine how they have solved all the problems of carrying complex audio signals through something as simple as a wire, but I still predict that this new, previously unheard of, "wirelessless" technology may catch on in a big way over the next twenty years.
But... he has people skills!
They can't help using their phones while driving. Brain cancer impairs their judgment.
This space intentionally left blank.
You mock them now, but for how long?
Oh, I'm sorry sir, I thought you were referring to me, Mr. Wensleydale.
since you thing anything with "radiation" is bad, I have dire warning for you, your ear is less than 30 mm from a 150 watt infrared radiation source! better rip that 3.5 kilogram source off your ear, stuff it into a bio-hazard bag, and incinerate it now! you won't miss the thing, you're not using it anyway.