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IT Workers To Get Fewer Perks, No Free Coffee

dasButcher writes "While the economy is showing signs of recovery and tech stocks posted double- and triple-digit gains in 2009, IT workers are facing a less hospitable workplace in the coming year. Many employers say they're going to continue trimming budgets, particularly in human resources. Rather than giving up head count, they're planning to trim 401k contributions, eliminate bonuses, curtail travel and, dare we say, shut off the free coffee (it wasn't that good anyway)."

29 of 620 comments (clear)

  1. You kill the Joe... by Commander+South · · Score: 2, Funny

    You make some mo'

  2. Re:I wish they would by OhHellWithIt · · Score: 4, Funny

    Nasty instant Coffee?

    That's nothing. Where I work, we have go outside, and chew the leaves and beans off coffee bushes ourselves.

    Lucky sod! Your coffee's fresher than everyone's!

    --
    "Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past." -- George Orwell
  3. Re:I wish they would by ByOhTek · · Score: 2, Funny

    Why do you have your own person to turn cows into orks in the next cubicle? Is that a big thing where you work?

    --
    Self proclaimed typo king, and inventor of the bear destroying coffee table (patent not pending).
  4. Re:No Coffee = No Code by Alarindris · · Score: 2, Funny

    You're a musician? ;)

  5. Re:No Coffee = No Code by digitig · · Score: 5, Funny

    If you need it to function, you have a problem and should cut back or quit.

    I need oxygen to function, but I'm worried about cutting back or quitting. I'm told the withdrawal symptoms are pretty bad.

    --
    Quidnam Latine loqui modo coepi?
  6. No worries about the coffee: by Penguinisto · · Score: 5, Funny

    You can always fit a small refrigerator inside of a std. rack (lay a couple of 2x4's across the bottom to hold it up, and make sure the rack doors are on it, front and back). Put your own coffee maker on top of it, and you're set. Tape a few Dell server front panels to the inside of the rack door while you're at it. If you're really into disguises, wire up a few LED's to those panels.

    Now if only there was a way to squeeze a big-screen TV in there... and no, not sideways.

    --
    Quo usque tandem abutere, Nimbus, patientia nostra?
    1. Re:No worries about the coffee: by JustOK · · Score: 5, Funny

      Vertical racks would work. Tell management that such an arrangement can increase downlink speeds by about 9.8 m/s^2

      --
      rewriting history since 2109
  7. Re:401k???? by JoeWalsh · · Score: 3, Funny

    No, no, no! They're just trying to help you by encouraging you to be responsible for your own future. In the past, the company was stealing your opportunity to be fully responsible for your retirement. Now, they feel bad about that, and are giving that responsibility back to you. It's time to celebrate!

    Next month, they're going to stop stealing your opportunity to work twice as hard for half as much pay. It's a glorious future that your corporate masters have planned for you. Celebrate, slave, celebrate!

  8. Re:Paging Mr. Vader - something slipping through by Rogerborg · · Score: 2, Funny

    Filthy Communist. Doing a half assed job is the American Way.

    --
    If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
  9. Re:the school district model by ByOhTek · · Score: 3, Funny

    Nope, not a burger joint within two miles of here even if they did.

    Do you get your bridge for free, perchance? Does it have a good goat throughput?

    --
    Self proclaimed typo king, and inventor of the bear destroying coffee table (patent not pending).
  10. It's in the Constitiution by twmcneil · · Score: 2, Funny

    It's called the Juan Valdez Amendment to the Constitution. It's there really. Look it up. It guarantees all workers the right to free coffee during work hours. Ratification of that Amendment has been written into my employment contracts for over 20 years.

    --
    "The ferrets, they're every where I tell you!"
  11. Re:the school district model by cashman73 · · Score: 2, Funny

    That sounds sort of like the plot of a Dilbert cartoon,. . .

  12. Re:Paging Mr. Vader - something slipping through by jollyreaper · · Score: 4, Funny

    Please.

    You are at work to work, you are not at work to read slashdot and gmail.

    Mr. Pot, allow me to introduce you to Mr. Kettle.

    --
    Kwisatz Haderach
    Sell the spice to CHOAM
    This Mahdi took Shaddam's Throne
  13. Re:It's An Employer's Market by Rhaban · · Score: 5, Funny

    And employers will replace them with 20-something go-getters with better attitudes and more up-to-date skills, and at half the salary.

    I'd like to see how those 20-something will use their up-to-date skills when faced with my 80% cobol environment.

  14. Well, in my day... by jlowery · · Score: 4, Funny

    we mixed a little dirt in a cup of cold water and called it instant. If you wanted creamer, you added drop or two of Liquid Paper. Tasted like shit, but the extra chemicals and minerals kept you going.

    --
    If you post it, they will read.
  15. Re:I wish they would by jjinco33 · · Score: 2, Funny

    You must work here at IBM too

    --
    Meh.
  16. Re:No Coffee = No Code by Enderandrew · · Score: 2, Funny

    Let's not stereotype all programmers.

    I hear Mac coders prefer expensive herbal teas.

    --
    http://blindscribblings.com - Tasty pop-culture in conceptual fashion.
  17. No more coffee? Finally! by Asylumn · · Score: 2, Funny

    Taking away the free coffee in my office would be considered a benefit. An act of mercy, really. It is a vile substance that resembles coffee in name only.

  18. Re:Get a union. by M8e · · Score: 3, Funny

    More than ionized workers?

  19. Re:the school district model by Dishevel · · Score: 2, Funny

    Wow u guys drink (or waste) a lot of coffee!!! I think its great that everyone took a little cutback to save another employees job, but $80k is seems to be too much to spend on coffee!

    I have a coffeemaker ($40) a thermos ($20) and I drink over a liter of coffee a day, fair trade organic Bolivian full city roast mostly. Not counting the cost of running water or bicycling/driving to/from the coop where I get it, it costs me less than $5 /week.

    and your handle is cmdr tofu You don't happen to live in San Fransisco do you?

    --
    Why is it so hard to only have politicians for a few years, then have them go away?
  20. Re:the school district model by Spykk · · Score: 5, Funny

    I have always thought of programming as the art of converting caffeine into an executable. Coffee is part of the cost of doing business.

  21. Re:the school district model by oscarwumpus · · Score: 5, Funny

    You might want to look at the math. If you, as an individual, drank $400 of coffee per year, that would lead to $80,000 of coffee per year covering over 200 employees. Or 100 employees who drink twice as much as you do. Or 50 employees who suffer severe shakes, headaches, and moments of telepathy. Or 25 employees who swim in tanks filled with the spice melange and wrap space-time so heighliner ships can reach their destinations. And that may be money well spent. Or 1 to 5 employees who were selling coffee to the other employees using company funds.

  22. Re:the school district model by MadKeithV · · Score: 5, Funny

    I hear that Chinese HR managers are 20 times cheaper too.

  23. Re:the school district model by flabordec · · Score: 2, Funny

    the Cxx (COO, CFO, whatever) who made that decision should be beaten to death with his own intestines

    Wow! That's a bit harsh just for a 0.1% loss of productivity!

    --
    "I see undead people" Warcraft III - Necromancer
  24. Re:I wish they would by jefu · · Score: 2, Funny

    Careful that you don't get the coffee bushes and the coca bushes mixed up.

  25. The pendulum... by dghcasp · · Score: 2, Funny

    The pendulum swings one way, then back the other...

    Side 1: "If I can't wear sweat pants, bring my dog to work, have my own office, telecommute when I feel like it, and drink company-provided beer every day starting at 3:00, then I won't work here."

    Side 2: "You're 35 and you haven't had a heart attack yet? Perhaps I should replace you with someone who actually works hard."

  26. Re:the school district model by infinite9 · · Score: 4, Funny

    He pays dues. He gets no real benefit. And they tell him what he can and can't do.

    Sounds like my home owner's association.

    --
    Disconnect your television. Do your own research. Draw your own conclusions. They're probably lying. Don't be a sheep.
  27. Re:Paging Mr. Vader - something slipping through by fuzzyfuzzyfungus · · Score: 5, Funny

    I can only assume, if they were really such awful human beings, that their real motivation was to ensure that none of the provided cutlery was sharp or stiff enough to stab them to death with.

  28. Re:Paging Mr. Vader - something slipping through by RubberChainsaw · · Score: 3, Funny

    You may find somebody else to put at my desk, but you will *never* be able to replace me. That's why you pay me the big bucks.

    I used to think that way about my kills too. When you grow up, you'll realize that there are indeed people who know as much as (or *gasp* more!) than you do.

    And here's another little tip: they'll do it for cheaper too. That's one of disadvantages of competing globally.

    Is the global assassin's market really that cutthroat?

    --
    I welcome our new 99% overlords.