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8% of Your DNA Comes From a Virus

An anonymous reader writes "About 8 percent of human genetic material comes from a virus and not from our ancestors, according to an article by University of Texas at Arlington biology professor Cédric Feschotte, published in the Jan. 7, 2010 issue of Nature magazine."

30 of 478 comments (clear)

  1. Ob. Matrix quote by SharpFang · · Score: 1, Funny

    Humans are a virus!

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    45 5F E1 04 22 CA 29 C4 93 3F 95 05 2B 79 2A B2
    1. Re:Ob. Matrix quote by causality · · Score: 3, Funny

      Humans are a virus!

      Before the Matrix, there was Bill Hicks: "I'm tired of this back-slapping 'isn't humanity neat' bullshit. We're a virus with shoes, okay?"

      --
      It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education. - Einstein
    2. Re:Ob. Matrix quote by ShieldW0lf · · Score: 5, Funny

      The moral of the story is, cannibalism really does allow you to take your enemies strength. That's why we eat Jesus' flesh on Sundays, so we can absorb his holy virus and become like God.

      --
      -1 Uncomfortable Truth
    3. Re:Ob. Matrix quote by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      That's why I eat copious amounts of pasta, so that I, too, may be touched by His Noodly Appendage.

    4. Re:Ob. Matrix quote by Sam36 · · Score: 0, Funny

      False, for there is but one God and the best that man can do is filthy rags in the sight of The Lord.

      Admit that you are a sinner

      Believe in Christ Jesus that he has died for the sins that you have committed

      Commit yourself daily to serving The Lord

      A-B-C

    5. Re:Ob. Matrix quote by spun · · Score: 5, Funny

      Commit yourself daily to serving The Lord

      With some fava beans and a nice Chianti, fthfthfthfth.

      --
      - None can love freedom heartily, but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. -- John Milton
    6. Re:Ob. Matrix quote by TheCarp · · Score: 2, Funny

      They are just jealous because they never got that transubstantiation miracle to work right. That or the 2000 year old zombie flesh tastes conspicuously like unleavened bread... which tastes conspicuously like cardboard. Frankly, I think that they would do a lot better if they started out with a pork roast. At the very least it would require a bit less suspension of disbelief when the Saviour is rolling around in your mouth.

      --
      "I opened my eyes, and everything went dark again"
    7. Re:Ob. Matrix quote by biryokumaru · · Score: 3, Funny

      Turning people into newts.

      Hey, he got better.

      --
      When you're afraid to download music illegally in your own home, then the terrorists have won!
    8. Re:Ob. Matrix quote by prezpwns · · Score: 2, Funny

      Amen

    9. Re:Ob. Matrix quote by Bobb+Sledd · · Score: 4, Funny

      You know, there's a real easy way to tell: If when the source is raising the dead, if you hear beautiful and calming and serene music in a major chord mode, then it is good. If you hear banging on a piano or dissonant violins, then evil.

      --
      "They said I probly shouldn't fly with just one eye," "I am Bender. Please insert girder."
    10. Re:Ob. Matrix quote by Chris+Burke · · Score: 2, Funny

      Frankly, I think that they would do a lot better if they started out with a pork roast.

      Well then you'd start another holy war over whether or not it's sacrilegious to smother the Host in barbecue sauce.

      --

      The enemies of Democracy are
    11. Re:Ob. Matrix quote by Opportunist · · Score: 2, Funny

      So with more MSG from all the chinese food I might become the next Buddha? About time, I already have had his body for a while.

      --
      We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
  2. Not Bad by pilsner.urquell · · Score: 4, Funny

    Eight percent, I consider that a fair return on an investment.

    1. Re:Not Bad by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Unless of course it's the 8% that makes you bald as you get older, or makes you susceptible to heart disease or diabetes, or any number of inherited undesirables.

      No, those are the symptoms of our genetic origins as Pak Protectors http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pak_Protector

  3. Like my PC by Krneki · · Score: 5, Funny

    8% of my Windows code comes from Viruses.

    --
    Love many, trust a few, do harm to none.
  4. But I use antivirus!!!! by master_p · · Score: 4, Funny

    Doesn't Norton protect me from such stuff?

  5. Revelation by schmidt349 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here, Mr. Malda. It came to me when I tried to classify your species and I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment but you humans do not. You move to an area and you multiply and multiply until every natural resource is consumed and the only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet. You are a plague and we are the cure.

  6. Either that, or... by Nux'd · · Score: 2, Funny

    They really need to stop using thier gene sequencers to search for porn.

  7. Re:Virus? Hardly. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    No, no, you just don't understand. . .

    When the Intelligent Designer was creating viruses after man sinned, so that man would henceforth die, he re-used 8 percent of the genetic code *of man* to make the viruses more effective. Yeah. . .that's it. See, Intelligent design isn't just Creationism re-branded. Oh. Wait. . .

  8. Damn it. by UncHellMatt · · Score: 4, Funny

    She told me she was TESTED!

  9. Re:Summary and article misleading by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Dammit - my parents were too cheap to use Antivirus. They didn't even use the free version because it "kept slowing them down". Losers. Now I have this virus in my DNA. Ugh!

  10. Linux kernel by MaGGuN · · Score: 2, Funny

    8% of the Linux kernel code comes from Linus... Don't shoot the messenger.

  11. A Woman's Perspective by d34dluk3 · · Score: 4, Funny

    It's the Y Chromosome

  12. Re:Not surprising, given how DNA actually works by corbettw · · Score: 2, Funny

    Actually I'm pretty sure 100% of our DNA is basically crap that only exists because at some point in the past it was better at copying itself ;)

    --
    God invented whiskey so the Irish would not rule the world.
  13. Re:Mammals by canajin56 · · Score: 5, Funny

    "That's the way God wanted it" isn't the only way to support the observation of genes existing in multiple species, in a way that seems to imply inheritance. How about "God made life using OO programming"? Why would he start from scratch for every species, instead of just using copy & paste? If you really think about it...hacked together in 6 days, spaghetti code where 80% seems to be junk that doesn't even do anything, and is incredibly hard to decipher...God made us in PERL! Perl supports multiple inheritance, which explains the appearance of "viruses" transplanting genes from one species to another, unrelated species!

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    ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI
  14. 8 Percent! by bitphr3ak · · Score: 4, Funny

    I think I'll call in sick!

  15. Re:Bible Code? by SteveWoz · · Score: 2, Funny

    The Creator is actually an infinite number of monkeys?

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    OK a new size TV
  16. Re:Mammals by pwfffff · · Score: 2, Funny

    The fact that he finished ahead of schedule seems to support this. Why custom tailor DNA when you can use that whole 7th day to rest?

  17. Re:Mammals by francium+de+neobie · · Score: 2, Funny

    "That's the way God ... using copy & paste? If you really think about it...hacked together in 6 days, spaghetti code where 80% seems to be junk that doesn't even do anything, and is incredibly hard to decipher...

    So what the Creationists are saying is basically...

    God is a either a chump working at Microsoft, or a really bad software contractor who writes Perl?

    This sucks, I want a refund.

  18. Re:Mammals by j-beda · · Score: 2, Funny