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TV Show Seeks Terminally Ill Volunteer for Mummification
Terminal illness got you down? Does your future seems bleak? Channel 4 and production company Fulcrum TV would like to brighten your day by making you the star of an upcoming documentary. They would like to offer you the chance to be mummified on TV and maybe even displayed in a museum afterward. An advertisement for the project reads: "We are currently keen to talk to some one who, faced with the knowledge of their own terminal illness and all that it entails, would nonetheless consider undergoing the process of an ancient Egyptian embalming."
Am I going to be done terriyaki style?
Science advances one funeral at a time- Max Planck
Remember, the actual brain is located in the stomach. That thing in your head is just waste and is to be disgarded!
Terminally III?
Is that, like, the sequel to Terminally II?
Hello,
Commiserations on the news of your imminent demise. At Channel 4, we believe that the most appropriate way of dealing with this sad news, and the undoubted grief of your nearest and dearest, is for you to submit your corpse to be messed about with on national television for public "infotainment". The documentary we are producing will take just as sensitive, informative, and considerate an approach as the famous documentaries "The Boy Whose Skin Falls Off", "The Woman Who Never Grew Up" and our other televised equivalents of old-time circus freak-shows.
We've set up a 24 hour hotline, just in case you really are that close to popping your cloggs, and look forward to working with your mortal remains soon!
best regards,
Channel 4 Public Relations.
Being mummified on live TV isn't all that different from what kids are doing with Facebook these days, anyway.
how is that possible, i thought he was an robot from the future...
God's gift to chicks
I volunteer! I expect to return to terrorize the world in a few hundred years though.
Wait, what do you mean life doesn't count as a terminal illness ?
"However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results" - Winston Churchill
the Fox Network.
Maybe they could sweeten the pot and sign me up for any future 'When Monsters Attack' specials.
Why not? Assisted suicide live on TV? Think of the ratings!
Why not turn it into a game show where you get to pick a vowel? We can call it "Hangman".
(I'm so going to hell for that)
Life is not for the lazy.
You prevent deaths with condoms, birth control pills, and poor oral hygiene - by preventing the lives from starting.
Don't forget to add personality to that list of prophylactics!
Science advances one funeral at a time- Max Planck
I much prefer the late, great prophet Bill Hicks' suggestion of recruiting the terminally as stunt fodder in action movies.
Nice going there, Rorschach
I am "faced with the knowledge of my own terminal illness"
I take it you've been diagnosed with the dreaded Alive, Well and Happy Syndrome, caused by a complex combination of healthy diet, regular exercise, a low to moderate alcohol consumption, a lack of tobacco or nicotine intake, frequent sexual intercourse and a supportive social network.
Fortunately, it's in decline among US youth; see the article published in pubdot at http://science.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=10/01/12/1337235
Tut tut tut...
[UID-HeinzIntel]
When you're making a TV show that needs a mummy army, just let me know
Please help publicise swpat.org - the software patents wiki
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Actually these costs are really cheap for wealthy people, you would think that a lot more of these rich people who die of old age (lots of them around and many more rich baby boomers are in the pipeline.
That was the most frustrating thing I've tried to parse all year. Tell me son, have they already liquefied your brains?
Your brain is not a computer.
Trite as it seems to quote XKCD (#397), it is appropriate as always: "Ideas are tested by experiment. That is the core of science. Everything else is bookkeeping."
Reminds me of the quotation:
"Life is a sexually transmitted disease with 100% mortality rate."
I heard that the "octo-mom" wants to do a reality show. How about we sign her up, call it "octo-mum"? Once she's mummified, we wouldn't have to listen to her anymore! Plus, she's already given us a head start with all that plastic surgery to make herself look like Angelina Jolie!