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TV Show Seeks Terminally Ill Volunteer for Mummification

Terminal illness got you down? Does your future seems bleak? Channel 4 and production company Fulcrum TV would like to brighten your day by making you the star of an upcoming documentary. They would like to offer you the chance to be mummified on TV and maybe even displayed in a museum afterward. An advertisement for the project reads: "We are currently keen to talk to some one who, faced with the knowledge of their own terminal illness and all that it entails, would nonetheless consider undergoing the process of an ancient Egyptian embalming."

15 of 262 comments (clear)

  1. Depends... by Cryacin · · Score: 5, Funny

    Am I going to be done terriyaki style?

    --
    Science advances one funeral at a time- Max Planck
    1. Re:Depends... by Anubis350 · · Score: 3, Funny

      It's not that, the mod's pissed 'cause *he* was going to eat that mummy!

      --
      "goodbye and hello, as always" ~Prince Corwin, from Zelazny's Amber series
  2. Don't forget to... by incognito84 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Remember, the actual brain is located in the stomach. That thing in your head is just waste and is to be disgarded!

  3. Sequel? by tsvk · · Score: 5, Funny

    Terminally III?

    Is that, like, the sequel to Terminally II?

    1. Re:Sequel? by wiredlogic · · Score: 4, Funny

      I prefer Terminally Ill: Revenge of Helvetica

      --
      I am becoming gerund, destroyer of verbs.
    2. Re:Sequel? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      I prefer Terminally Ill: Revenge of Helvetica

      A lot of people get that one muddled up with Terminally IV: Arial Strikes Back, because they're quite similar apart from some minor details.

      Personally, I found them both grotesque.

  4. Dear Potential Corpse by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hello,

    Commiserations on the news of your imminent demise. At Channel 4, we believe that the most appropriate way of dealing with this sad news, and the undoubted grief of your nearest and dearest, is for you to submit your corpse to be messed about with on national television for public "infotainment". The documentary we are producing will take just as sensitive, informative, and considerate an approach as the famous documentaries "The Boy Whose Skin Falls Off", "The Woman Who Never Grew Up" and our other televised equivalents of old-time circus freak-shows.

    We've set up a 24 hour hotline, just in case you really are that close to popping your cloggs, and look forward to working with your mortal remains soon!

    best regards,
    Channel 4 Public Relations.

  5. Terminator III for Mumification? by Fotograf · · Score: 3, Funny

    how is that possible, i thought he was an robot from the future...

    --
    God's gift to chicks
    1. Re:Terminator III for Mumification? by The+Wild+Norseman · · Score: 5, Funny

      I died inside a little. Urrghh.

      WAIT! Hold on! Lemme get my camera first!

      --
      "A government is a body of people usually -- notably -- ungoverned." -Shepherd Book
  6. Re:What is next live executions? by DigiShaman · · Score: 4, Funny

    Why not? Assisted suicide live on TV? Think of the ratings!

    Why not turn it into a game show where you get to pick a vowel? We can call it "Hangman".

    (I'm so going to hell for that)

    --
    Life is not for the lazy.
  7. Re:Is there anyone not terminal? by Cryacin · · Score: 4, Funny

    You prevent deaths with condoms, birth control pills, and poor oral hygiene - by preventing the lives from starting.

    Don't forget to add personality to that list of prophylactics!

    --
    Science advances one funeral at a time- Max Planck
  8. Well, what's your diagnosis then? by jonaskoelker · · Score: 4, Funny

    I am "faced with the knowledge of my own terminal illness"

    I take it you've been diagnosed with the dreaded Alive, Well and Happy Syndrome, caused by a complex combination of healthy diet, regular exercise, a low to moderate alcohol consumption, a lack of tobacco or nicotine intake, frequent sexual intercourse and a supportive social network.

    Fortunately, it's in decline among US youth; see the article published in pubdot at http://science.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=10/01/12/1337235

  9. All I can say is... by BancBoy · · Score: 5, Funny

    Tut tut tut...

    --
    [UID-HeinzIntel]
  10. Re:Good. by MoonBuggy · · Score: 4, Funny

    Trite as it seems to quote XKCD (#397), it is appropriate as always: "Ideas are tested by experiment. That is the core of science. Everything else is bookkeeping."

  11. Re:Is there anyone not terminal? by Hebbinator · · Score: 4, Funny

    Reminds me of the quotation:

    "Life is a sexually transmitted disease with 100% mortality rate."