Tower Switch-Off Embarrasses Electrosensitives

Sockatume writes "Residents in Craigavon, South Africa complained of '[h]eadaches, nausea, tinnitus, dry burning itchy skins, gastric imbalances and totally disrupted sleep patterns' after an iBurst communications tower was put up in a local park. Symptoms subsided when the residents left the area, often to stay with family and thus evade their suffering. At a public meeting with the afflicted locals, the tower's owners pledged to switch off the mast immediately to assess whether it was responsible for their ailments. One problem: the mast had already been switched off for six weeks. Lawyers representing the locals say their case against iBurst will continue on other grounds."

Comments

Dear resident,

[gd2shoe]

Dear resident,

You may have noticed that we have recently broken ground on our new electronic communications tower. You will be pleased to note that the eyesore will not cause headaches, nausea, tinnitus, or dry burning itchy skin. Further,there is no way it could possibly disrupt sleep patterns or interfere with digestion. People who have claimed otherwise are loons. Besides, they've only been exposed to other towers and not this one.

If you notice any health changes, we're sure that you'll find they are imaginary or stress induced. We encourage you to find a responsible health care professional. If they tell you that our tower is involved then they are not responsible health care professionals and can be sued for malpractice.

Have a good day!

(Note to mods, this parody is a joke. If you didn't get the joke, step away from the computer and don't come back until you get "more smarter".)

Re:ham operators

[Anonymous Coward]

@girlintraining

This isn't twitter. However, I can see how you could get confused as to where you're posting since you're obviously mentally deficient.

joking on Slashdot

[gd2shoe]

If the shoe fits... (I do emphasize that I said "if you didn't get the joke".)

I discovered long ago that any joke I posted on Slashdot was always modded down by the incompetent unless I explicitly stated that I was joking. I don't need to be modded up on a joke, but I hate it when I get modded down because someone else cannot see the obvious.