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Scientists To Breed the Auroch From Extinction
ImNotARealPerson writes "Scientists in Italy are hoping to breed back from extinction the mighty auroch, a bovine species which has been extinct since 1627. The auroch weighed 2,200 pounds (1000kg) and its shoulders stood at 6'6". The beasts once roamed most of Asia and northern Africa. The animal was depicted in cave paintings and Julius Caesar described it as being a little less in size than an elephant. A member of the Consortium for Experimental Biotechnology suggests that 99% of the auroch's DNA can be recreated from genetic material found in surviving bone material. Wikipedia mentions that researchers in Poland are working on the same problem."
Hmm. What would the ancestor of all domestic cattle taste like. Hmm.
Warning: this article may contain humor, sarcasm, parody, and perhaps even irony. Read at your own risk.
I usually read "scientists" as "astrologers" to ensure that I don't fall victim to any kind of argument to authority. :P
Clever girl, Bessie...
- For the complete works of Shakespeare: cat
Godwin's law!
They can just fill in the missing 1% with frog DNA.
Sewage Treatment Facilities - "Our duty is clear."
I for one welcome our new bio-engineered bovine overlords.
A pig would better - they could market it as jew-rassic pork.
If you mod me down the terrorists will have won
Jurassic Park? The aurochs went extinct in 1627, so it would be more like Medieval Park.
+1
Just to see the face on the toreador on seeing an elephant sized wild bull with 2m horns charging down on him.
I'd pay to see that.
May contain traces of nut.
Made from the freshest electrons.
That depends on in which animal they find the missing 1% DNA
This is blinging
Do you do standup in clubs anywhere.
I'll try and avoid them
America, Home of the Brave.
So what happens if you start finding yourself believing astrologers?
Really, if you want to distrust what scientists say, your best option is to *become* one. Here's an actual quote from a recent issue of Science News
Lovejoy's hypothesis is an interesting 'just so' story. He's rapidly becoming the Rudyard Kipling of paleoanthropology.
Meow! Take that! And look at those *shoes* he's wearing.
And consider: that was a scientist talking to a science journalist with a notebook and pencil in hand. This kind of mean-girl talk is a lot more common when they don't think the public is talking. Ever see the actual comments scientists submit during peer review?
Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
In fact in Caesar's time there was a third kind - the North African elephant.
now they'll have to bring back the North African elephant to validate this claim. Then there's the whole "mice scare elephants" wisdom, which some researchers say was only true with North African elephants and Eastern Egyptian mice.
At which point, to get rid of the extinct Eastern Egyptian mice, they'll have to bring back the extinct European Lion, and slightly older Smilodon (saber-toothed cat).
And to get rid of them, they'll have to save from extinction the nearly-extinct Gorillas.
And to get rid of these, the scientist will have to bring back the Ice-Age winters, so the Gorilla freezes to death.
"Sufficiently advanced satire is indistinguishable from reality." - [Tips: 1DrYakQDKCQ6y52z6QbnkxHXAocMZJE61o ]