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The Cell Phone Has Changed — New Etiquette Needed
CWmike writes to share a recent manners-rant that has some great gems about how not to be "that guy" on a cell phone. What rules of engagement are absolutely necessary and what social penalties should become standard practice for repeat offenders? "It's easy to be rude with a cell phone. A visitor from another planet might conclude that rudeness is a cell phone's main purpose. Random, annoying ring tones go off unexpectedly. People talk too loudly on cell phones in public because of the challenge of holding a conversation in a noisy environment with someone who's not present. Cell phones need their own rules of etiquette, or we'll descend into social barbarism."
Walking down the street laughing and talking to an invisible friend without holding anything up to their ear. It's just not right.
I find it easier to justify it if you put it that people can't seem to *walk* and talk at the same time. Walking is something that doesn't require much mental effort, yet people are continually running into things (and other people). Funny enough that people can seem to walk and talk to someone beside them just fine, but give them a cell, and accidents galore (thankfully rarely fatal or injurious unless one walks into a manhole or something). And this is something people do naturally, and now we want to put them in a two-ton vehicle where the outcome is easily death.
OTOH, I wonder if pickpocketing is on the rise these days - with so many distracted pedestrians, you'd think a downtown core would make a target rich environment for people stealing wallets and such.
Hell, I've always wanted to grab a digital camera, and when I see people so engrossed with their cellphone texting, snapping a picture and starting a website about it.
It's not that they're talking on their cellphones that makes us say it's rude IT'S HOW THEY ARE YELLING ON THEIR CELLPHONES SO LOUD THE REST OF US CAN'T TALK TO EACH OTHER that makes us say it's rude.
s/(I've noticed that people needlessly talk).+/$1./
Most landline phones echo your voice into the earpiece. Cell phones do not do this, so many people raise their voice to compensate for the fact that they can't hear their own voice coming from the phone. Still, it's very annoying.
So you've had run-ins with people offended by how you use your cellphone?
The last thing we need is yet another stupid rule to obey that does little but reward over-sensitivity.
The rules are already there. They always have been. They're unspoken, like most rules of polite behavior. People who break them are really never punished, just labeled "rude" and properly ostracized. Perhaps confronted, but you never know where the line between "rude" and "sociopathic" lies in any given person, and it's not always worth risking unprovoked assault.
Nope, I am forced to conclude that inappropriate and rude use of a cellphone is far worse.
Welcome to the Panopticon. Used to be a prison, now it's your home.
"Don't be a loud, obnoxious asshole." Works for phones or any kind of conversation you're having in a public space.
"Don't drive like an asshole." Works for phones, texting, or just generally not paying attention to the multi-ton machine you're controlling while it hurtles down the road.
"Don't pull the asshole move of interrupting someone who is speaking to you by doing something else." Works for people who get a call in the middle of a conversation.
Really, "Don't be an asshole" is about all the etiquette we really need, and it's a lot simpler than trying to remember Emily Post.
Since I can't tell them apart, I treat all ACs as the same person.
The big difference between walking and talking to someone beside you is that:
They are in the same environment you are, and if need be, can stop you from doing something stupid.
Since they are in the same environment as you they tend to lull the conversation when you are at a physical location(eg an intersection) where you need to concentrate on not dying.
Your partner on the cell phone may very well be sitting in their house eating nachos and may start to engage you in a very involving conversation right as you pull up to the intersection, thus your concentration may not be where it needs to be.
Monstar L
When the hell are phone manufacturers going to provide microphone feedback so you can hear your own voice in the earpiece? It's not like it's hard. (And I'm not talking about the half-second-delay echo of my own voice that I sometimes get on AT&T)
While taking the bus to work, I endured about 10 minutes of non-stop, high-volume chatter about matters far too intimate for public exhibition. I finally reached my limit...couldn't concentrate to read, had forgotten my headphones, couldn't ignore the conversation (which was carried on at a near-shout). The offender was clearly a Jerry Springer fugitive, and if she wasn't a star of that People of WalMart site, her attire was such that it's only a matter of time. The faces of the other transit riders made it obvious I wasn't the only one offended by a conversation that included the woman's current sex life, how she enjoyed suckering her sister into babysitting so she could go clubbing, and some lovely racial stereotyping about her child's absentee father.
I pulled out my cell phone and began to carry on a fake conversation about the woman. I'll admit that I was pretty far over the top, but I was also seriously pissed. The other riders caught on pretty fast and started laughing. For at least a couple of minutes the woman was oblivious. Gradually, though, it sunk in...I think it was when I mentioned how lucky she was that the bus came along before that Inuit with a harpoon caught up with her.
She wound up cursing at me, but that was fine. A lot of people were laughing at her, which was exactly what I had in mind. She got off the bus pretty quickly after that. I don't know if it was her stop; I hope not.
I wouldn't recommend this course of action except under ideal circumstances, but I don't regret it.
I've calculated my velocity with such exquisite precision that I have no idea where I am.
1. It is NOT rude to talk on your cell phone in a public place eg on a train or bus or w/e. just like how it isnt rude to have a conversation with a real person there. It pisses me off that on some busses I take they say "please dont use cellphones, it may disturb others" when it doesnt say "people dont talk, it may disturb others". in fact, on a phone there's less talking to be disturbed bya s thre's only 1/2 the conversation.
You are completely, absolutely, positively 100% incorrect. Studies have been done to prove it. It is WAY more irritating when you can only hear one side of the conversation, irritation amplified by the need that people have to raise their voices on a cellphone since they don't have the feedback that old analog landlines had. If you're not irritated by Incosiderate Cell Phone Man, you, sir, are in a small minority.
Incidentally, from TFA:
* 1. Lower your voice when taking calls in public.
* 2. Avoid personal topics when others can hear you.
* 3. Avoid taking calls when you're already engaged in a face-to-face conversation.
* 4. If you do take a call, ask permission of the people with you.
* 5. Avoid texting during a face-to-face conversations.
* 6. Put your phone's ringer on "silent" in theaters and restaurants.
* 7. Don't light up your phone's screen in a dark theater.
* 8. Hang up and drive.
* 9. Acknowledge the delay
* 10. Don't use Google Voice call screening with family and close friends
* 11. Don't blame the other guy for a dropped call
* 12. Avoid looking things up during a conversation
* 13. Be mindful about Facebook tagging
* 14. Avoid inappropriate profile pictures
At first glance I thought this article would be stating the obvious, but it's got some good stuff when you get past 8. Acknowledging the delay and reassuring the other person that you're not talking over the top of him is a great start, although I must say I haven't had that problem so much since I switched from Verizon. The delay on that service was so bad I ended up dreading every call.
Drill baby drill - on Mars
I've stopped going to theater; I just get redbox instead...Why pay $10 so I can be distracted by self-absorbed morons who can't go 20 minutes without checking their messages? Yes, it's a pet peeve. One of many.
Yeah? Well I think you're overrated too.
When talking into your blue-tooth headset, DO NOT make eye contact with people in the grocery store. I'm tired of strange people asking me if we need milk, damnit.
Unless you're a girl? Then you're all good.
I have been on a greyhound bus, I would put a couple of more caveats on that one....
Monstar L
Solution: Ignore the phone while driving and call back when at your destination.
Quicker Solution: Answer, say "Hold on for a second", ignore phone until you are safely pulled over somewhere.
Really, answering the phone is always in your power - and missing a phone call is not the end of the world. Driving the car is the driver's responsibility as well. We can't have excuses on either one, the buck needs to stop at the person with the power to make those decisions.
According to studies, talking on a cellphone is far more distracting than talking on a car.
You know one of the advantages of talking on a car? Auto-dial.
the goal here is to avoid being distracted when you are driving.
finding your phone, looking at it enough so you can find the "answer" button, maybe needing to unlock the phone first or flip it open, then holding the phone close enough where there person can hear you say "hold on" is not a solution.
and don't give me a bunch of hoopla about how advanced your phone is hands free and you can answer it simply by thinking about it. not everyone has that feature. the vast majority of phones requires you to press a button to answer.
the OP had it right. just don't answer it.
The reaction probably prevented him from persisting!
If I were trying to rob someone, grabbed their phone, and all they did was non-chalantly - and without taking their eyes off the screen - pull it back and continue walking casually. I'd be very confused for a moment, then decide they were probably some sort of martial arts master and we're being polite enough not to kick my ass - count myself lucky and be on my way.
I can just picture the would-be thief: "Dear god, what kind of a badass doesn't even look up at his assailant - or turns their back to them and keeps walking?"