Microsoft Says Windows 7 Not Killing Batteries

VindictivePantz sends word that the Windows 7 team has posted a new blog entry discussing their conclusions about the reported Windows 7 battery failures. "To the very best of the collective ecosystem knowledge, Windows 7 is correctly warning batteries that are in fact failing and Windows 7 is neither incorrectly reporting on battery status nor in any way whatsoever causing batteries to reach this state. In every case we have been able to identify the battery being reported on was in fact in need of recommended replacement. ...every single indication we have regarding the reports we've seen are simply Windows 7 reporting the state of the battery using this new feature and we're simply seeing batteries that are not performing above the designated threshold. ... We are as certain as we can be that we have addressed the root cause and concerns of this report, but we will continue to monitor the situation."

Comments

almost fooled me...

[Cornwallis]

I got excited for a minute because I thought the header read "Microsoft Says Windows 7 Not Killing Babies".

That would have been interesting.

Re:almost fooled me...

[ajrs]

I got excited for a minute because I thought the header read "Microsoft Says Windows 7 Not Killing Babies".

That would have been interesting.

So, Windows 7 is still killing babies?

Re:almost fooled me...

[Teese]

I got excited for a minute because I thought the header read "Microsoft Says Windows 7 Not Killing Babies".

That would have been interesting.

So, Windows 7 is still killing babies?

They haven't denied it yet.

Re:almost fooled me...

[Anonymous Coward]

Thank you, Mr. Beck.

Wha??

[Itninja]

"To the very best of the collective ecosystem knowledge, Windows 7 is correctly warning batteries that are in fact failing and Windows 7 is neither incorrectly reporting on battery status nor in any way whatsoever causing batteries to reach this state."

Can a brother get some restrictive clauses and pronouns up in here?

Re:Not news - just like last time

[mcgrew]

* waves hand *

Not dead

[Lost Penguin]

Microsoft: Oh yes, the, uh, the Battery...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?
          Laptop owner: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
          Microsoft: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.
          Laptop owner: Look, matey, I know a dead battery when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
          Microsoft: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkably charged, the Battery, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!
          Laptop owner: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
          Microsoft: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

Re:Not dead

[MBCook]

Microsoft: Bring out your dead batteries.
Microsoft: Here's one.
Customer: It's not dead.
Microsoft: Yes it is.
Customer: But it still holds a little charge.
Microsoft: Not really. It's as good as dead.
Customer: Look! It plays YouTube for over 2 minutes.
Microsoft: It's dead. Do we need to come back later?
Customer: But it's still good. It's happy!
Microsoft: *THWACK*
Microsoft: There. Now it's dead.
Customer: You killed my battery!
Microsoft: No we didn't. It was already dead.

Re:Sheesh.

[Qzukk]

Like a zombie battery?

Yes. When it starts getting low, it moans MAAAAIIINNNNSSSS

Re:Surprise

[Idbar]

Microsoft Says Windows 7 Not Killing Batteries
My guess is that batteries are killing themselves as soon as they know they are powering a Windows machine. They have become quite intelligent now.

Kidding, kidding!