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Secret Service Runs At "Six Sixes" Availability

Posted by timothy on from the only-need-half-as-many dept.

PCM2 writes "ABC News is reporting that the US Secret Service is in dire need of server upgrades. 'Currently, 42 mission-oriented applications run on a 1980s IBM mainframe with a 68 percent performance reliability rating,' says one leaked memo. That finding was the result of an NSA study commissioned by the Secret Service to evaluate the severity of their computer problems. Curiously, upgrades to the Service's computers are being championed by Senator Joe Lieberman of Connecticut, who says he's had 'concern for a while' about the issue."

12 of 248 comments (clear)

  1. Wow. by moogied · · Score: 4, Funny

    They should just flip the availability numbers over and get rid of the decimal. "Sir, its not 66.. its 99! You have it upside down!" -- Fixed.

    --
    So basically, -1 troll/offtopic is really slashdots way of saying "I hate that you thought of something before me."
    1. Re:Wow. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      66.6666% -> 9999.99%????

  2. Upgrade... by ak_hepcat · · Score: 5, Funny

    To windows, and get 73% uptime!

    Or.. that other OS that you don't have to license per seat, and get in the solid 90+% uptime.

    --
    Support FSF: Stop thinking with your wallet, and think with your imagination. (cc/non-commercial)
    1. Re:Upgrade... by TapeCutter · · Score: 4, Funny

      "If your service depends on a single server, you're still doing it wrong."

      666 666 -> Devilishly clever redundancy.

      --
      And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? - Pink Floyd.
  3. Here's An Idea ... by WrongSizeGlass · · Score: 4, Funny

    ... I have several old P4 1.6Ghz w/ 256MB RAM & 100Mhz FSB in a store room at a client site. They originally shipped with Win 98 but they've since been upgraded to XP. The Secret Service can have them fro free if they just come and pick them up. I would have put them on Craig's List but I don't trust a web site where they let just anybody post things.

    1. Re:Here's An Idea ... by Runaway1956 · · Score: 2, Funny

      We're on slashdot, right? Emulators? Think about it. We should take a poll to see how many members keep an emulated woman in their bottom dresser drawer, under the socks, where they don't think Mommy will find it. I hear that some people actually prefer fake over real.

      --
      "Windows is like the faint smell of piss in a subway: it's there, and there's nothing you can do about it." - Charlie Br
  4. Re:don't trust it, it's about pork by Greyfox · · Score: 3, Funny

    They'll probably contract it out to EDS and spend 3 billion dollars on Citrix licenses.

    --

    I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?

  5. Re:Two Satans by kitezh · · Score: 5, Funny

    Can you convert that into a more familiar unit, like Library of Congresses?

    You know the Library of Congresses is a pretty reliable machine. Does anybody know what its downtime is?

    The downtime for the Library of Congress is 4:30 pm - 8:30 am, Monday - Friday, and all day Sunday. That translates into an uptime of about 28.6%. If you take the Secret Service 68% as uptime, then it would be 2.4 Library of Congresses.

  6. Security by Venerability by gmuslera · · Score: 4, Funny

    At last a computer that can be safe even in a cyberwar, no modern hacker would be able to enter there, or at least, do anything dangerous. Even the Morris worm would scream and run facing that technology. Leave that multivac running enough time and will eventually make light.

  7. SS? SS!? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Oh sorry, you mean Secret Service. I keep thinking Schutzstaffel.

  8. Re:Obama = Hitler by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Mrs Palin, don't you have more important things to do than troll blogs?

    Oh, I forgot. You don't, do you?

    P.R.

  9. Re:Obama = Hitler by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Aww did some body make fun of your wank material?