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Filming For The Hobbit Begins In July
krou writes "Sir Ian McKellen has revealed that filming for The Hobbit and its sequel is scheduled to begin in July, and will take approximately a year to complete. Casting is now 'taking place in LA, London and New York,' and [director Guillermo] Del Toro is already 'living in Wellington, close to the Jacksons and the studio in Miramar.' Apparently the script is still being worked on, and 'the first draft is crammed with old and new friends, again on a quest in Middle-earth.' The planned sequel to The Hobbit is to be an original story not written by Tolkien, covering the 60 years between The Hobbit, and The Lord of the Rings."
I have visions of furries lined up for the audition.
Oh jeez, MORE walking?!?!?
SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
The sequel will feature a new dragon, named Aesydrayne, and a battle involving six armies, and a ring that makes you completely odorless.
You see? You see? Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!
Sounds like the filler episodes in anime, when they've already make all the current manga into anime, but want to make more anime something anyway. And we all know how great those are.
... like Jar Jar Binksarrim of the water people. And Elrond will have an affair with Galadriel. That's right, as soon as we fully Americanize this story, we will have a real winner here, folks.
Sorry, that was only the first draft. Now, Bilbo is a time-traveling immortal who joins with a hip new Gandalf to save Middle-Earth's ozone layer.
Then, they break dance!
I heard George Lucas is writing it. Young Gollum will be a comedy character to lighten the mood. His appearance has been changed a bit to appeal to the 5-10 age range that have the most pester power over merchandise sales, e.g. big floppy bunny ears. To save time it will all be CGI scenery. Human actors will be dosed with Thorazine to make them more docile and easier to pose.
echo -e 'global _start\n _start:\n mov eax, 2\n int 80h\n jmp _start' > a.asm; nasm a.asm -f elf; ld a.o -o a;
Wait, so you mean it will be a swimsuit episode? Oy!!
So you're saying, we're getting "The Hobbit" movie, and a planned sequel to "The Hobbit" which is to be an *original story not written by Tolkien*, covering the 60 years between The Hobbit, and the Lord of the Rings."?
Thanks for clearing that up.
"The planned sequel to The Hobbit is to be an *original story not written by Tolkien*, covering the 60 years between The Hobbit, and the Lord of the Rings." Thanks but no thanks.
Hey come on now, Tolkien's grand kids need Ferraris, hookers, and blow. Don't begrudge them the simple hobbit necessities of life....
HA! I just wasted some of your bandwidth with a frivolous sig!
Saruman is a Decepticon!
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2008/5/28/
Tic-Tac-Toe, Global Thermonuclear War, and relationships all have the same winning move.
dammit. should have gotten the refundable plane tickets.
Perhaps we should just sue the actors for aging. That'll show 'em.
would be an examination of the blue wizards
Blue wizard needs food badly!
Gee, it was almost as if the GP was making a joke. Geez, fucking lighten up.
Yup, she bought the level 80 expansion and left her guildies behind.
If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
Can we get Tim Burton to direct, and make it a franchise reboot?
I can see it now: the hobbits living in an advanced society not unlike 21st century Europe undergo a genetic mutation as the result of exposure to radioactive volcanic ash. One of the hobbits becomes Lord Sauron, who proceeds to rise up and conquer the lands, forming an oppressive kingdom where he removes and monopolizes all modern technology. Society within that first generation regresses to a 10th-century-style existence. Meanwhile, Lieutenant Starbuck, an astronaut who crashed on some faraway planet, helped the hobbits form a rag tag resistance group comprised of wookies, psychlo, and griffins, stumble across a cache of F-35 Lightning fighters, and although they have never seen so much as a flashlight or even matches, over the course of two weeks, become expert fighter pilots. Did I mention these F-35 Lightnings were not what they appeared, but are actually transformers, and in the bunker-style hangar they came across, there was a large semi. Well, the transformers were remaining covert to try to learn what all these strange creatures were up to since the creatures showed a barely perceptible spark of conscious thought. Optimus Prime took pity and he and his brothers revealed their true nature to the rag tag team. They agree to help the hobbits, psychlo, wookies, and griffins wage war to overthrow Sauron. The battle was quick and decisive.
Now for the Tim Burton twist ending: Glinda, the good witch told Lieutenant Starbuck "sorry man, but you have to go home now. I'll service you first." She gives him a BJ and tells him all he needs to do is to play the hokey pokey then he will be swiftly transported home. He does the hokey pokey, except he put is left foot in when he should have put in his right foot, so he landed in a parallel universe where the Earth is now ruled by giant tarantulas.
The Christian Right is Neither (Christian nor right). See: Matthew 23, Matthew 25, Ezekiel 16:48-50
I heard George Lucas is writing it. Young Gollum will be a comedy character to lighten the mood. His appearance has been changed a bit to appeal to the 5-10 age range that have the most pester power over merchandise sales, e.g. big floppy bunny ears.
I believe that during that time is actually when [Young Gollum ] is being tortured in mordor
Change the name to "Jarjar does not simply walk into MORDOR!" and I'll pay to watch the movie in 3D.
Doesn't it also include a half-hour scene of Bilbo sitting around smoking a pipe as he ages 60 years?
I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
my kingdom for a mod point...though now I have this (somewhat disturbing) vision of the LOTR cast endlessly grinding through level after level of ghosts, barbarians, and other creatures, looting insane amounts of treasure, and eating every 30 seconds
This comment will probably be modded funny, but in a few years the mods will wished they'd modded it insightful.
The sequel won't be too bad. The Red Dragon will have turned out to have cast a dead man's hand spell on himself, and it will yank a soul to re-power his body and return him to life. The soul will be a US Marine from Iraq, and the dragon will add his knowledge to his own, creating massive machine guns and basically flying around machine-gunning "the 5 armies", regardless of their orientation.
Later, the dragon will get ahold of the ring from Bilbo, and his own massive willpower will vie with Sauron for control. Eventually, a group lead by Bilbo, containing Gollum, will recover the ring right as the marine fights back for control of the dragon's mind. It's a hopeless effort, but stuns the dragon just briefly that they can pry the ring off using Sting.
Gollum, of course, then turns on Bilbo and tries to get it back, but the spirit of Thor Oakenshield or whoever croaked in Hobbit 1, I forget, intercedes and Bilbo escapes with the ring.
Epilogue decades later, when an older but not yet old Bilbo is present at the birth of his nephew, who "might be named Dodo, or maybe Frodo, I like that name!" Cut to Sauron's area, where he's starting to build up an orc army, and negotiating with Saruman, while a middle-aged but youngish looking Grand Moff Tarken stands by as the massive tower with the eye is under construction.
(-1: Post disagrees with my already-settled worldview) is not a valid mod option.
Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'sm in a stew.
Damping absorbs vibrations. Dampening is caused by moisture.
Unless they reboot the story by placing it in AN ALTERNATE SPACE/TIME CONTINUUM!
...didn't see THAT coming, did ya?
Word game?
Yeah, there's a difference between making a modern adaptation of Shakespeare, or even a whole other thing INSPIRED by Shakespeare, and writing "Hamlet 2: The Revenge of the Prince!"
Yeah, the difference is Hamlet 2 has way more pyrotechnics. And Elizabeth Shue.
perl -e "eval pack(q{H*},join q{},qw{70 72696e74207061636b28717b482a7d2c717b343 637323635363534323533343430617d293b})"